A Safe Harbor
by Sharon10
Summary: Nora Ends Her Relationship With Clint After She Finds Out About Him And Lindsay. Overcome With Pain And Anger, She Shows Up On Johns Doorstep With No Where Else To Go. How Will Bo React When He Finds Out What Transpired? Bo/Nora/John
1. A Safe Harbor Part 1

A Safe Harbor- Bo/Nora/John

She was throwing clothes into a suitcase in a fit of rage as she tried to control the tears that fell from her face. She wasn't going to let him break her… and she refused to stay in a house that was full of nothing but pain. But she was angry… so angry she could barely see straight. And she wanted to rage at everyone who had ever lied to her…starting with the man that broke her heart. There was no time for forgiveness now… no second chances, no alibis or explanations… she just didn't give a dam.

When she turned around and saw him standing there she looked him dead in the eyes and smiled.

Nora: Well now that you're here, maybe you could help me pack.

Clint: You're leaving?

Nora: No. But YOU are. I've never found the need to call the shots with this house until this very moment. I have two boys to raise and I'm NOT going to let you push me out when YOU'RE the one who messed up. I don't give a dam WHERE you go as long as it's FAR AWAY from me. I can't stand the sight of you.

Clint: You don't mean that.

Nora: I'll TELL you what I mean. (She took a pile of clothes and threw them at him as she looked him dead in the eyes). EVERYTHING I EVER felt for you died the moment I realized you are nothing but a lying, cheating fraud who will do ANYTHING for that stupid company… including stab me in the back with my mortal enemy. And you know what? That's all fine and dandy if you can actually live with yourself for doing it. But I WON'T live with a man who has such little respect for me… who is willing to sell me out just to save his own skin. And if you ACTUALLY THOUGHT we could EVER be the same after that then you don't know me at all.

Clint: Nora please… Can you just calm down for a second?

Nora: CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN? YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN? I'LL SHOW YOU CALM?

She Picked up the vase and threw it at him, causing it to shatter on the floor.

Clint: Ok, You're mad.

Nora: MAD!! YOU CALL THIS MAD. I'M WAY PAST THE POINT OF BEING MAD. I'M LIVID. I'M FURIOUS. AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS MAKE YOU HURT.

Clint: Can't we just talk about this for a second. I know that I hurt you but….

Nora: DON'T. I don't give a dam why you did it. And if you're going to stand there and say that you love me then I don't want to hear it. I want no part of your kind of love. And the sooner you get the hell out of my face, the better off we'll both be. You make me sick.

Clint: So that's it then. Everything we were starting to build means absolutely nothing to you.

Nora: DON'T put this on me. I DID love you. I gave you EVERYTHING I had and you took advantage of that. I TRUSTED you. And you KNOW how hard that was for me to do after what happened with Daniel. But you obviously care more about yourself then you EVER did about ME because if you REALLY cared then you wouldn't have lied to me, you wouldn't have conspired behind my back with Lindsay and you CERTAINLY wouldn't have let her convince you to sacrifice your principles for the good of that stupid company. Do you KNOW how much I HATE that company right now? It turns normally sane people into raving lunatics. And the worst part about it is it didn't stop there. (Pause) I would have forgiven the lies Clint. If you had just come to me and been honest about what you had done, I would have forgiven you. But this… the betrayal… that's something I CAN'T forgive. And I WON'T let you make me feel guilty about ANYTHING EVER again… Nor Will I Let You Make A Fool Out Of Me Again. I want you out of my house and I don't EVER want to see you again. As far as I'm concerned, you're dead to me.

She walked out of the room slamming the door behind her and sat in her car for a good five minutes with her hands shaking and her tears falling. She finally pulled herself together and drove. She wound up on John's doorstep.

John: Hey… Nora, what is it? You look like hell.

Nora: I'm… I'm really sorry John? I didn't know where else to go and I can't stay in that house tonight. You're the only friend I've got.

John: Well why don't you come in. You look like you could use something warm.

She didn't say a word as she walked in and John took the throw over blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. He handed her a cup of coffee.

John: Just put a pot on.

Nora: Thanks. (Pause) I'm really sorry for showing up like this in the middle of the night… I just… I didn't know where else to go and I was afraid if I stayed in that house I'd end up doing something that would make things worse then they already are.

John: You want to talk about it?

Nora: It's kind of a long story.

John: Well in case you haven't figured it out, I've got the time.

TBC


	2. A Safe Harbor Part 2

A Safe Harbor- Part 2

She put the cup of coffee down and stood up from where she was sitting, preparing herself for the truths she didn't want to face but knowing she had to. She was staring out the window when John came over and placed his hand on her shoulder, as if to say he was here for her no matter what. When she looked at him, she couldn't stop the tears that welled in her eyes and without saying a word, he pulled her into his arms for an embrace that she hadn't realized she needed so much.

John: Hey… (Wiping the tears from her face) Hey, you don't have to do this if you're not up for it. I would never ask you to give something you're not comfortable giving.

Nora (Forcing a smile): I know. And I guess that's why I came here. You've been a good friend John. And the only person I trust not to lie to me. So tell me something? Is there something wrong with me? Is that why EVERY time I think I'm getting over those hurdles and finding someone who makes me happy… is that why they ALL throw me over for HER? I mean what is it John? What is it about me that's so unlovable?

John: Not a dam thing sweetheart.

Nora: Then why? Why does this ALWAYS happen? Why do I ALWAYS end up with the short end of the stick? Why Do I ALWAYS come out looking like the bad guy? And why is it SO hard for me to find someone who will just love me back? That's all I ever wanted John… Someone who can look at me and not see my mistakes… someone who doesn't make me feel like cheap trash… someone who will look at me and want ME… not just tolerate me until a better offer comes along.

John: You deserve that and so much more Nora. And if they can't see what an incredible woman you are then they don't deserve you because I'm going to tell you what I know about you.

Nora: You are huh?

John: Yeah… (He looks her in the eyes) Nora, you are a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve… who will go out of her way to help someone… even if she doesn't know the first thing about them… who will do just about anything for the people she cares about… but who spends so much time worrying about EVERYBODY else that she doesn't take time to worry about herself. And who has this incredible gift for making everyone who knows her better off. And that's the God's honest Truth Nora. You make people better just by being around you. You sure as hell made me better.

Nora: I did?

John: Yeah. You made me believe in myself when I didn't think I was worth the effort.

Nora: You were ALWAYS worth the effort John.

John: So are you. So come on Nora… Let me return the favor? Tell me what it is that has you so down on yourself… because you sure as hell don't deserve ANY of it.

When she started to pace, he just looked at her, knowing at that moment that he would do absolutely anything to make her pain go away but not having a clue where to start.

John: Hey… Hey whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm the last person in the world who's ever going to judge you. You DO know that don't you?

Nora (Pausing): Yeah I know. It's just… Saying it out loud makes it real and sometimes I wish I could just forget I ever knew it.

John: I know the feeling.

She laughed slightly as she turned around to face him.

Nora (Pausing): I guess I should start at the beginning and I really don't know where that is except to tell you that Clint wasn't the man I thought he was. And looking at everything in hindsight… I don't know why I never saw it. He doesn't look much like a man to me now.

John: He cheated on you?

Nora: Yeah, with Lindsay.

John: Oh Nora… Nora I'm so sorry. He's a jerk you know that?

Nora: Yeah, he is. And the worst part is that it wasn't even the worst of it. (Pause) He let her talk him into doing something he KNEW was wrong for the sake of that stupid company. And I HATE him for it… I HATE him because now I may have to arrest him and I don't want to be responsible for breaking that family's heart any more then they already have been. HE'S the one who did something wrong and I'M the one who feels guilty about it.

John: That's because that's who you are. You're ALWAYS taking on everyone else's mistakes when you don't need to. (Pause) Why don't you let ME take care of this? Let ME take this burden on for you Nora… you just take care of yourself.

Nora: But if Ramsey…

John: Don't worry about Ramsey. I'll handle him. In the meantime, why don't you go take a shower? You've got to be pretty exhausted and I know you don't want to go home tonight. So why don't you stay with me?

Nora: Are you sure?

John: Yeah, I'm sure. You can stay as long as you want. I'll go check on Matthew and Cole for you and bring you back some clothes. Anything in particular you want?

Nora: I'll write it down.

She went to scribble something down and looked at him, with reservation on her face.

Nora: Uh, maybe you should give this to Renee.

John: Probably a good idea.

They both laughed slightly and he took the slip out of her hand as he kissed the top of her head.

John: Go take a shower kiddo. I've got some extra sweats in the bathroom if you want.

Nora: Thanks. Thanks for everything.

John: Don't mention it.

After John was out the door, Nora headed towards the bathroom where she allowed her tears to overcome her as the hot water soothed her. She stepped out of the bathtub and found the sweats John was talking about. As she felt the soft fabric on her body she soon began to feel better. She took the brush out of her purse and began to run it through her hair when she heard the pounding at the door. Normally she would have ignored it but she recognized the perpetrator and she figured she might as well get this over with.

She swung open the door and found her ex standing in front of her.

Nora: What the hell do you want Bo? Haven't you done enough damage for one night?

Bo: Look, I need to talk to you.

Nora: REALLY? Well I'm all talked out. You have your brother to thank for that.

Bo: Nora, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't entirely honest with you about what my brother was doing…

Nora: You mean you lied… Oh I am SO sick of you Buchanan men and your pathetic life altering lies. You can both go to hell for all I care.

She was about to slam the door in his face when he stopped her in her tracks with his words.

Bo: Is that why you're shacking up with John McBain?

Nora looks him dead in the eyes before hauling off and slapping him across the face.

Nora: You basrd. You miserable lying basrd.

TBC


	3. A Safe Harbor Part 3

A Safe Harbor- Part 3

Nora turned to face Bo, tears steaming down her face, anger burning in her eyes.

Nora: I am SO sick of you and your macho pride. You think you know EVERYTHING about me Bo and the truth is that you don't have a clue. You don't even know who I am anymore do you?

Bo: So why don't you ENLIGHTEN me?

Nora: I think I'd rather you tell me what it is you THINK you know?

Bo: Are you saying you're NOT shacking up with John? Because I have to tell you, that's EXACTLY what it looked like from where I'm standing…

Nora: FIRST OF ALL… IF I was shacking up with John, or ANYONE else for that matter, it would be NONE of your damn business. YOU Left ME. YOU made it pretty darn clear that you wanted me OUT of your life so why the hell would you care WHO I'm sleeping with? And more to the point, WHAT gives the right to walk in and out of my life like you own it and think you have some sort of god forsaken duty to tell me WHO I can and can not see?

Bo: Nora…

Nora: NO, WAIT!! I'm NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!

She pulled herself together and forced herself to look him dead in the eye.

Nora: There was a time when I would have cared what you thought. There was a time when it would have mattered. Now, I just don't give a damn. And I sure as hell don't trust you. So why don't you just pack up your little farce of an apology and take it to someone who actually believes your lies.

Bo: I had no idea that I hurt you so much… I had no idea you had been cut so deep. I wish to God I could take it all back but I can't.

Nora: You're right Bo. You can't. You CHOSE to support your brother on something you KNEW was wrong… hell even Illegal. And you CHOSE to allow him to continue to play me for a fool by lying to my face about it. So tell me Bo? How did you THINK I would react? Did you think I would THANK you?

Bo: Not exactly.

Nora: Good… Because I don't. And quite frankly, I don't really care what kind of spin you're going to try and put on this. The fact is that you lied to me… and you essentially helped Clint break my heart. I don't forgive you for that Bo. Especially since we've been here before and you never seem to care how much I'm hurting if it justifies what it is you think you' re accomplishing. So what is it this time Bo? And while you're at it, why don't you tell me how it is you managed to find out where I was?

Bo: What do you mean?

Nora: DON'T be coy with me. I KNOW I didn't tell you I was staying with John. Hell, I didn't even tell you I was leaving because I didn't know myself until a few hours ago. So HOW is it that you just happen to show up and find me? We're you following me?

Bo (Pausing): Nora, I was worried about you. Clint told me you kicked him out and that you had suddenly disappeared. I wanted to make sure you were ok so I went looking for you.

Nora: You mean you put an APB out on me right?

When he didn't say anything, she knew she got her answer and slapped him again.

Nora: In the future, if you want to know where I am, pick up the damn phone and call. If I want you to know where I am, I'll tell you. If I don't, then it's none of your damn business. (Pause) And you're not even Police Commissioner anymore so how did you even manage that?

Bo: I have my ways.

Nora: Apparently. You might want to tell those connections that they're going to be in SERIOUS trouble if they EVER help you spy on me again. I'm off limits to you Bo. You screwed up almost as much as your brother and right now I'm so damn mad at you BOTH I could have you arrested for any number of things.

Bo: So why don't you?

Nora: I might. But right now I'm more interested in getting back on my feet and forgetting that I EVER made the mistake of trusting you again.

Bo: You don't mean that.

Nora: Sure I do. And you never answered my question. What was your excuse for lying to me this time?

Bo (Pausing): Believe it or not, I was trying to protect you.

Nora: So nothings changed has it? You're STILL using that lame excuse of protecting me from something I don't WANT you to protect me from?

Bo: Nora, you're the DA. When the truth came out, I KNEW you'd have to prosecute and I also knew it COULD be a conflict of interest. I didn't want to put you in the position of having to choose.

Nora: Bo, you should know me better then that. If you break the law then you don't get any special treatment. I'm a stickler for integrity and morals and right now you don't have either of them. You BOTH broke the law in my eyes. And you BOTH broke my heart. So why should I do ANYTHING to help you? Why would you think I WOULD?

Bo: I'm sorry Nora. I know I should have told you.

Nora: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU SHOULD HAVE!! YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT.

Bo: Ok, so we've established that you're angry. Where does that leave us?

Nora: Well it leaves ME with a bone to pick. And I don't know Bo, maybe its time I told you exactly how you're brother broke my heart? And I don't think you're going to like it anymore then I did.

When John pulled into the driveway of the mansion, he knew it was going to take every ounce of restraint he had not to loose it. Watching Nora come apart in front of him was something he wished he had never had to see in slow motion. It was something he wished he had never had to see at all. The look in her eyes was a look he would never forget… that raw emotion that made her more vulnerable then just about anyone he had ever met…And those eyes… those glassy, blank eyes that no longer looked through the eyes of love… the eyes of a woman who was close to being broken. The eyes of a woman who was no longer able to find forgiveness but could only function on anger. He had only seen that look once before and it was through his own image when he lost his fiancé. He wanted them to pay. He had spent his life chasing them. And then he had given up trying. He had given up feeling. He just didn't give a damn about anything anymore.

Looking towards the house, he realized how much he wished he could change things for her. He was scared for her because he knew that if she continued down this road, things would intensify and cause her a great deal of pain that would overtake her. And Nora was the last person who deserved any of that. But then again, she didn't deserve what she was going through now either. And thinking about what had happened to her only made him angry so he got out of the car and shut the door.

He wasn't really sure why he felt the need to take on her burdens but he did know that Nora deserved better then she got and he wanted to make sure she never had to feel an ounce of what she had felt at Clint's hands ever again. And if giving her a place to stay and making sure she always had someone in her corner was what she needed then by god he was going to give it to her, with no questions asked. He just wished he could understand why he felt so much rage inside him.

Nigel: Mr. Mcbain? What brings you by at this late hour?

John: A request from a friend. (Pause) Uh, Nora's going through a rough time right now so I told her I'd pick up a few things for her. I don't want her to have to deal with any more then she has to.

Nigel: So can I assume that means that Ms Hanen is safe? We've all been terribly worried about her.

John: She's safe Nigel. And she's going to stay that way if I have anything to say about it.

Nigel: I'm glad. (Pause) Do come in sir. It's probably pretty cold out there.

John: Thanks. (Pause) Listen, I told Nora I'd check on Cole and Matthew for her. Do you know where they are?

Nigel: Matthew has just gone to bed. Cole is probably still in the study. Would you like me to ring him for you?

John: No, I'll find him myself thanks. And Nigel? If Matthew wakes up and wonders where his mom is…

Nigel: Don't worry; I'll take care of it.

John: Thanks. I don't want Nora's son suffering any more then he has to.

He walks away and walks down the hall to find Cole with Clint in the study.

Cole: Hey John. What brings you by so late?

John: I… I came to see how you were doing. I told Nora I'd check on you.

Cole: I'm fine. You on the other hand, look like hell. Is everything alright? You look kind of tense.

John: Yeah, I… Listen Cole. I'm really sorry. I know that this is probably the wrong thing to do and lord knows I don't want you to follow in my footsteps… but there's something I REALLY have to take care of right now.

Cole: Ok.

Without saying anything further, John walked over to Clint and punched him in the face.

John: THAT was for Nora.

TBC


	4. A Safe Harbor Part 4

A Safe Harbor- Part 4

A Safe Harbor- Part 4

She turned to face the other side of the house because she didn't want him to see her cry. She had cried her last tears over this man and she would be damned if she let him see her fall apart one more time. She was too damn angry to speak rationally now. But she knew that what she had to say couldn't wait a second longer so she finally turned around and faced him with a look that stopped him dead in his tracks.

Nora: It wasn't supposed to be like this Bo. We were supposed to be forever. Isn't that what you promised me? You promised me forever. You swore to me that you would ALWAYS be there for me and you lied. What happened to that man who said there wasn't anything he couldn't forgive me for? (She holds up her hands to stop him from interrupting her)And before you start with one of your ridiculous excuses let me remind you that you're not exactly a saint Bo. You've caused ME an unspeakable amount of pain. Did you think it was easy for me to forgive you for lying to me about Georgie? Do you think it was easy for me to trust you then? There were SO many times I wanted to just shut the door and keep on walking. I didn't trust you. You hurt me so bad that I wanted to rip everything away so I wouldn't have to feel the pain. I couldn't do it then anymore then I can do it now. But I Still Forgave You Didn't I? And I forgave you for countless other things that most women would have held against you forever. I don't know what you're looking for Bo. You seem to want to a woman who's nothing short of perfection because it seems like I can never do anything right in your eyes. You want the truth and you get mad when I tell it to you. You want me to go away and you get mad when I do. No matter what it is, its ALWAYS the wrong thing and I am STILL paying for one stupid mistake I made ten years ago that doesn't even have any bearing on us now. You're willing to throw everything we made together away based on ONE mistake I made when I was trying to save your life. I was trying to save YOUR life because YOU wouldn't fight for it. Because YOU wouldn't fight for US. I should have just walked away then. You obviously couldn't care less WHAT I Do Anymore.

Bo: Nora, That's Not True. I Care About you. I Care About you a lot.

Nora: REALLY? Could have fooled me. How exactly would you know? Would it be the way you continually lie to my face about things that affect me? Would it be how you treat me like yesterday's garbage on a regular basis? Would it be how you constantly remind me of how I just don't measure up to your perfect little Lindsay? Well you what Bo? I give up. You can both go straight to hell. I am NOT going to be there the next time you get an urge to destroy your life. You want to trust the likes of Lindsay Rappaport over ME… the mother of your son… well that's your business. But don't you DARE come crying to me when it all blows up in your face. Cause guess what Bo? The world does NOT revolve around you. And I am SO done being your favorite punching bag. Next time you get the urge to take out your frustration on someone, you'll have to find another victim because THIS well has run dry. I'm done. I'm done being the woman you trash just to make yourself feel better. You've done your damage for the last time. And if you THINK you can just show up whenever you feel like it then think again. You want to see Matthew then you can pick up the damn phone and call me. IF you can tear yourself away from your current flavor of the month then you can see him. I will NOT have MY son exposed to your current bed partner. I WON'T Have My Son Exposed To What Is Known As Manipulation and Just Plain Cruelty. I Won't Let That Bit Touch the ONE thing in my life that's not destroyed by her.

Bo: Don't you think you're being a little unfair?

Nora: UNFAIR? UNFAIR? I'll tell you what UNFAIR is. Unfair is lying in a bed in some godforsaken place not being able to move… unfair is watching your funeral on television and not being able to speak up. Unfair is having to tell your son that the man he thought was his father has been murdered? Unfair is having his REAL father kept away from him. I could write the book on UNFAIR Bo. I've Had Things happen to me that NEVER should have happened. But For some god forsaken reason you don't seem to care that I'm in pain… That I've BEEN In Pain since SHE came to town. And you know what? Most of what she's done has happened to YOU too. You would think that you would actually give a damn but apparently I was wrong. You have an unbelievable capacity for forgiveness with that woman. And you know what Bo? If that's how you REALLY feel you can take that high and mighty crap you've got going on and get the hell out of my sight. You didn't just break my heart into a million little pieces by taking up with my mortal enemy… you sold me out when you BELIVED Her… when you Took HER Side Over ME. HOW could you even THINK of going to bed with the woman who wrecked my life… who tried to kill me… who threatens me on a daily basis…? Who has caused me an unspeakable amount of pain… and what about what she did to our son? She kept me away from him for almost a year while she made everyone think I was dead. She fixed your test results and made you think you couldn't have any more kids just to give me a bad day. She changed Matthew's paternity test. Do I REALLY need to go on Bo? She's got a rap sheet a mile long and MOST of what she did was done directly to ME… I think I have a right to be a little ticked off don't you think? Or do I REALLY mean that little to you? Is that what this is? Do you hate me that much? Would you even care if I wasn't around?

Bo (Pausing): Would I? Would I Care? Oh God Nora, is that what we've come to? Do You REALLY Think I Wouldn't Care? My God Nora, You're the mother of my son… You're my ex wife and my friend. We had a life together at one point. A life that gave us a son… a life that I can't just snap my fingers and forget about. It was a good life Nora. We might not have worked out but I don't want anything bad to happen to you. I wouldn't be able to handle it if something bad happened to you.

Nora: Why? Why would you care? Would your guilty conscience eat at you? Would you feel some kind of pity because now our son wouldn't have a mother? Or would it just be because you wouldn't have that convenient punching bag around to rail at? You NEVER wanted me when I WAS around. You barely even NOTICED me unless it served your purposes. Why would you care if I was gone? Why would you care if I suddenly disappeared? It's not like you give a dam about me anyways.

Bo: I can't believe you think I think that little of you. (She gives him "the look") Ok maybe I haven't given you the impression that I want you around that much but I DO care. I Care about you a lot Nora. I know that I was wrong for the way that I treated you. When I look back now I can't believe I said half of the things I said. And the only excuse that I have is that I was angry. I know that's not gonna cut it with you.

Nora: YOUR DAM RIGHT ITS NOT.

Bo: Look Nora, I know that I shouldn't have lied to you but I honestly thought it was better if you didn't know. I can see now that it was the wrong thing to do and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I played a part in your heart getting broken. You didn't deserve it and I'm sorry for everything. I Really am.

Nora: For how long Bo? Do you REALLY care about me or do you just want someone to help get you through the night? Because I Will NOT be just another notch on your bedpost. And you don't know me at all if you think that I EVER would be.

Bo: You're WAY more then that and you KNOW it.

He grabbed her by the arm and forced her to look at him.

Bo: Damn it Nora. Can't you see how much you mean to me? Can't you see that I'm trying to fix things? I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I just don't want to see you hurt.

Nora: Well you're too late Bo. My life is a train wreck and it's all your fault. Everything I'm feeling right now is YOUR fault. YOU made me this way. YOU ruined me for everyone else. And now I'm just broken. You want to know why I'm suffering so much right now. You want to know what your pathetic excuse of a brother did to me? Well I'll tell you? I'll tell you EVERYTHING right now but don't say I didn't warn you this would happen. He went to bed with the woman who calls herself your house guest. And I walked in on them after it happened. Wasn't exactly pretty Bo. Things got quite ugly.

Bo: He… He slept with Lindsay? She…She slept with my brother?

Nora (Pause): How do you feel about your perfect little Lindsay Now? I guess she's not the saint you thought she was now is she? (Pause)

Bo(Yelling): Are you happy now? Is revenge really that satisfying to you?

Nora: REVENGE? You think this is REVENGE? I thought you wanted the truth? Isn't that what you ALWAYS Say? Aren't You the One Who Says you'd rather know the Truth. Well I Gave It to You. If you can't handle it then it's NOT MY Fault. NOT everything that happens to you is MY fault dam it. SHE's the one who lied. SHE'S the one who went to bed with your brother. You want to be angry with someone besides her then be angry at him. And while you're at it, tell that… that … that piece of scum that if he EVER comes near me again I'll kill him with my bare hands…

John looked at Clint with a look of pure hatred in his eyes… a look that caused Cole to get in the middle of their brawl by attempting to hold John Back. He simply stood up and told Cole that it would be better if he left him and Clint alone. Though the boy was hesitant at first, he eventually did what John said and left the room. John then walked over to the mini bar and poured himself bourbon. Clint picked himself up off the floor and walked towards him.

Clint: You know don't you?

John (Downing the glass): Know what exactly? That you cheated on a pretty incredible woman for no other reason then to cover your own hide? That you allowed her mortal enemy to blackmail you into doing her dirty work? Or that you really don't seem to think you've done anything wrong… That you actually think you deserve to breathe the same air as she does?

Clint: You really don't know the whole story.

John: What else is there to know? You cheated on her. You broke her heart. You lied to her. And now I'm hearing that you even sacrificed your principles to do it. So tell me something Clint? WHY should I allow you to keep breathing after that? WHY shouldn't I throw your sorry a# in prison where you belong?

Clint: Like I said, you don't know the whole story. And you don't have any evidence.

John: I have all the evidence I need. I have Nora's word.

Clint: Wouldn't stand up in court now would it?

John: Oh I don't know about that. Who do you THINK they'd believe? A woman who has been wronged in every way imaginable or the man who wronged her? Because I'm willing to bet that your little blonde bimbo will turn on you the first chance she gets. And then you'll be left with nothing but too much time on your hands. I wouldn't chance it. You COULD be left holding the bag, if you know what I mean.

Clint: You know John; you're starting to sound like someone who has a thing for her? Why do you care so much?

John: I don't think that's any of your business. You LOST that right the minute you stabbed her in the back with her mortal enemy.

Clint: So you're saying you DON'T have a thing for her?

John: You know Clint, IF I DID have a thing for her, I sure as hell wouldn't treat her as badly as you did. There's a name for what you did Clint and its called abuse. I have a very low tolerance for scumbag like that.

Clint: I don't know where you're getting your information. I never laid a hand on her.

John: There are all kinds of abuse Clint. And you used the worst one of all. You belittled and criticized her until she felt so guilty that she did everything you wanted just to make you happy. But you made her feel like crap in the process. You made her feel like it was HER fault you cheated on her. You treated her like less then dirt... Like some kind of game piece you can toss around when ever you feel like it. Hell, I've seen criminals treated better then her. You broke her Clint. You broke her. And you know what? Men like that don't deserve forgiveness because they never change. The best thing Nora ever did was kick you out of her life. And if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to make sure you stay the hell away from her. You WON'T get the chance to hurt her for even one more second. If you come within 5 feet of her, I'll have you arrested for harassment.

There was a brief pause as the men stared at each other coldly. Finally John started to walk out of the room. Before he did, he looked back one more time.

John: Don't leave town Clint. You're being investigated.


	5. A Safe Harbor Part 5

Nora's fists began to clench as she tried to put a lid on her anger

A Safe Harbor- Part 5

Nora's fists began to clench as she tried to put a lid on her anger. Bo knew by looking at her that from that moment on things would never be the same for the woman who had just lost everything she thought she could believe in. Clint may have been his brother but at this moment in time he felt as if he were a stranger. And looking at the life he left in shambles, he wondered if she'd ever recover. He wondered if there was ANYTHING that could make her ok again… if there was ANYTHING he could do to help.

Bo: Nora, please. You need to calm down. I have NEVER seen you this angry and it worries me. I don't want you to wreck your life any more then it already has been. Please… please just try to relax. I know that you think your life has been destroyed…

Nora (Crying): Hasn't it? My God Bo, I don't even know who to trust anymore. I wish to God that you're brother had NEVER come back to Llanview in the first place. Maybe then I'd still be in one piece.

Bo: You still ARE Sweetheart. You have no idea how strong you are. You think you can't handle what your life has dished out but you will. We all will. We will because we have no choice.

Nora: You might. But for me, I have no idea where to start. I lived in that house with him. I made a home with him. Hell, I even loved him. And now… now what do I have? I haven't got a dam thing. And the only thing I feel is this incredible sense of loss. And a rage I can't seem to get rid of. How can I go back and forget that he killed everything in one night. That he spit on the life we made without giving it a second thought. He hurt me Bo. He hurt me with every lie and every betrayal. And YOU… you hurt me by not telling me that I had nothing left to fight for. You made me believe that the man I believed in was exactly what he portrayed himself to be. You didn't tell me it was only a mirage. And worst of all, you made me think that my life with him was actually going to work out. Do you know how much I wanted to have a life that wasn't all wrapped up in you? I finally managed to get there and what happens? He betrays me.

Bo: Nora, I….

Nora: I was damaged goods after what happened with you and Sam and Troy and Daniel. I promised myself I'd be more careful. I didn't want to get involved with anyone ever again because I didn't believe it could last. Everyone I trusted after you turned out to be a psychopathic scoundrel and I didn't want to put myself through that again so I swore I'd never fall in love again. But then you're brother comes back to town and is there for me during a time when I really needed someone. I fell for the part of him that reminded me of you. The trouble is that neither of you were able to stay that way. (Pause) He was supposed to be different Bo. He was supposed to be the good guy. And he STILL betrays me. How am I EVER supposed to trust ANYONE ever again?

Bo: I really wish I had an answer for you. I wish there was something I could do for you?

Nora: There is. (She looked into his eyes so he could see all the pain that was hidden behind them) You can leave me alone. (Pause) I can't be around you right now. When I look at you, all I see is the man that let me down. I see the man who was willing to get involved with the one person in this world who wants to hurt me. The fact that you would even look twice at that woman is something I can't live with right now. Maybe I'll get over it some day and be able to look past all of this as if it were just a bad dream. But right now… right now I can't stand the sight of you because it reminds me of all you couldn't… or wouldn't… be for me but you would be for her. You forgave a laundry list of crimes when it came to Lindsay and yet you weren't able to overlook ONE mistake with me. You NEVER cut me ANY slack and I can't forget that Bo. It's not about whether you can forgive me anymore. I can't forgive YOU. Maybe someday I will but right now I want you out of my life. If you EVER loved me at all you'll give me the peace I need and just let me get on with my life without you. Seeing you right now hurts too damn much. I need you to respect me the same way I respected you and just leave me alone.

He looked at her and for the first time could see how much she was struggling to survive. She no longer had tears in her eyes but she was slowly breaking. He couldn't be responsible for being the thing that finally DID cause her to break. So he walked away. He walked away with only a look that told her he understood. And when he sat in his car and watched her fall to the floor in total heartbreak, the only thing he wanted to do was go to her. But he couldn't go to her because he had put her there. No matter how much he wanted to believe otherwise, Nora wouldn't be in this much agony if he had been honest with her in the first place. Maybe if he had bothered to tell her what Clint was up to, it wouldn't have gotten this far. But in a roundabout way, he had caused her to put her faith in the wrong man… and because of it she was suffering. The only thing he could do now was watch as John came home and picked her up off the floor to carry her inside. Feeling fairly certain that she was in good hands, he drove away to say goodbye to another chapter in his life just as he had closed the book on the best one just a few minutes ago.

TBC


	6. A Safe Harbor Part 6

A Safe Harbor- Part 6

A Safe Harbor- Part 6

Bo turned off the car radio when every station seemed to be playing some sappy love song and every love song reminded him of Nora. The last thing he needed right now was more reminders of her… and every choice he made that ended up costing her too much.

The fact was that he had never seen her so angry. He had never seen her so full of rage and disappointment. They had gotten into so many fights over the years and she had always found a way to forgive him before. But this time… this time was different. This time when she said she didn't want him in her life she meant it. There was something in her eyes that changed this time. That light that had always been there before was gone. Everything that had made Nora who she was was gone. All he saw now was rage and emptiness. Two things no one would ever use to describe Nora.

And the disappointment in her eyes… It wasn't just the rage he was worried about. He could handle it if she would just yell or scream at him. They had gone ten rounds year after year and they always walked away unscathed in the long run. But this time, something had changed. She wasn't going to yell at him anymore. She wasn't going to spew out some new version of why he should forgive her. She just didn't give a damn anymore. God how he hated the indifference. There were times he almost preferred that she hated him because at least there was still something there. Now, not only did she not love him anymore, she didn't hate him anymore. She just didn't give a damn one way or another. And that was a fate worse then death.

And the fact was that he had no idea how he was going to get himself out of this one. How do you make up for something that caused so much pain and misery? How do you make up for believing in the wrong person? How do you make up for years of bad decisions? He honestly didn't know if Nora would ever forgive him this time… and he couldn't even say that he blamed her. He just didn't have a damn clue what to do about her anymore.

"Damn It Nora, it's Not Supposed to Be This Way."

He pulled the car into the parking lot of the Buchanan Mansion and just sat there for a few minutes. He knew that what he had to say to his brother would be a hard thing to say but he also knew it had to be said. In all the years they had grown up together, they had always been close. But right now he really didn't know what they had left. Clint had turned into someone he didn't even recognize in practically one night. And in the long run he had caused his ex wife an unspeakable amount of pain. He never would have lied to her if he had known that Clint's behavior was only going to get worse. But none of that mattered right now. None of the excuses he used to justify the lies really mattered because Nora was suffering. And the man who had left her life in shambles needed to know he couldn't keep doing it. His brother needed to know he was wrong.

When he walked up the familiar drive way, he felt an overwhelming sense of loss. Not only had they lost Asa, but now they had lost each other too. This wasn't a home anymore. It was just four walls held together by brick and stone. It was Nora's house now. But it was never her home. Her home was with the people who betrayed her. Now what did she have left? Brick and stone would never hold a woman like Nora. She needed someone that would give her a reason to stay. Maybe that's what she'd find with John.

He pushed that thought aside as he rung the doorbell. The last thing he wanted to think about was Nora and John.

Nigel: Mr. Buchanan? What brings you by at this hour?

Bo: I really need to talk to my brother. Is he in?

Nigel: He's in the study.

Bo: Thanks Nigel.

He didn't say anything further as he walked into the study and shut the door.

Clint: Bo?

Bo: Hello Clint. I think its time you and I had a little chat.

Clint: Isn't it a little late for that?

Bo: Not when it involves Nora and Lindsay.

Clint noticed the look on his brother's face and realized that he knew everything. This was not going to be a good night.

Clint: Look little brother…

Bo: Don't. Don't play the family card Clint. You had no respect for that when you used me to hurt Nora.

Clint: what are you talking about?

Bo: The lies Clint. I covered up your lies. You told me you were going to change. You told me you would think of Nora. But you never even gave her a second thought did you?

Clint: That's not true. I made a mistake Bo. I loved her. That wasn't a lie.

Bo: Maybe not. But I'll tell you what WAS a lie… believing that you could make her happy. You cheated on her Clint. YOU put that woman in the worst kind of pain you could ever imagine. And for what purpose huh? The last time I checked you couldn't stand Lindsay? Why would you throw everything away for a one night stand with Nora's worst enemy? What kind of idiot are you? Don't you know how much she loved you?

Clint: Isn't that kind of like the pot calling the kettle black.

Bo: Yeah ok, I'll admit that I have made my share of bad decisions when it comes to Nora. But I NEVER would have lied for you if I knew you were just going to hurt her even more. You didn't see her Clint. She's not the same woman she was when she left here.

Clint: Why? What happened?

Bo: What do you THINK happened? She's broken. YOU broke her. She said if you come near her again she'll kill you. And I think she means it too. Believe me Clint. The woman we both loved and lost is gone. And now so are we.

Clint: You don't mean that Bo. We're family.

Bo: You should have thought about that before you went to bed with Lindsay and destroyed a good woman in the process. Kind of ironic isn't it? I thought Nora would be the one to cheat. I said some pretty horrible things to her because I believed that YOU would be the one to get hurt. I told her she would never change in a round about way. Instead, SHE'S The One to Get Cheated On. I guess the person who hasn't changed is you. Damn it Clint. How could you be such a basrd? How could you cause so much damage and still not think you did anything wrong? (He looked at him and held up his hands to stop him from continuing) never mind. Don't answer that. I don't really care why you did it. I just want you to know that I won't let you hurt her again. Nora may have kicked me out of her life, but if you think I'm going to stand back and LET you manipulate her again, then think again. If I find out you caused her any kind of pain, I'll call the cops on you. And don't think I won't do it either. Any kind of relationship we had ended the minute you and Lindsay stabbed me in the back. Now you're both dead to me. I guess it's a night for new beginnings isn't it? Nora's out of our lives, and now we have nothing left to fight over. I hope it was worth it Clint. We're done.

He was about to walk away when he saw Cole and Matthew standing in the doorway.

Bo: Hey… Hey kiddo, what are you doing up?

Matthew: I couldn't sleep. Cole and I heard yelling. I wanted to go wake mom but Cole said she wasn't here. What's going on Dad? Why are you and Uncle Clint fighting? And how come Mom is staying at Uncle Johns?

John brought an emotional Nora inside and sat her on the couch while he went to start a fire. When he came back, he brought her a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

John: You're ok sweetheart. No one is ever going to hurt you again, I promise.

Nora: It's too late for that John. I already AM suffering.

John: Nora, You're going to be ok. I know it's hard for you to believe that right now but you will be. You're a fighter. I've seen you fight your way back from total collapse. You've done it before and you'll do it again. Nothing that has happened to you can keep you down for long. You're too damn hard headed.

Nora: That may be but I can't do it anymore John. I'm tired. I'm just tired. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of being the person who everyone always expects to be the bigger person. I'm tired of getting the short end of the stick. I'm tired of being so damn forgiving. And most of all I'm tired of hurting. I'm so damn tired. And… And I'm so damn pissed off. I'm pissed off at everyone who ever thought they had a RIGHT to lie to me. I'm pissed off that I didn't see it coming. And I'm pissed off that I'm ALWAYS expected to be so damn "good." I'm tired of being the good girl. I want to have some fun. For once in my life, I want to be the person someone chooses first. I want to be someone who doesn't just sit on her hands and knees crying over a man who just isn't worthy. I want to fight back.

John: well if you feel that way then why don't you put these on and I'll SHOW you a way of fighting back.

He hands her a bag and she smiles.

Nora: I know how to fight back with these.

John: I know you do. So go make yourself sexy and when you come back I'll show you what you can do with that frustration.

Nora: Don't get any ideas McBain.

They both laughed slightly as Nora walked away. The problem with what she had just said was it was far too late for that. His Mind was already full of all kinds of ideas and none of them were what Nora needed.

John (To Himself): Get your mind out of the gutter Mcbain. The last thing that woman needs is another relationship.

A little while later Nora came out of the room wearing a pair of black slacks and a sleeveless top that was gold with sequins. She had put her hair up in a French twist and the only thing John could do was stare.

John: Well when I said sexy, I had no idea how literally you would take that.

They both laughed slightly as Nora walked closer to him. He couldn't keep his eyes off her.

John: You look incredible Nora.

Nora (Smiling): Thanks. I actually feel pretty incredible right now. There's just something about wearing something sexy. It makes you feel invincible.

John: Keep that thought while you get a lesson in kick boxing.

Nora (Laughing slightly): Are you serious? You're going to teach me how to box now?

John: You said you want to let out some frustration. Believe me, there is no better way then this. And besides, I have it on good authority that you pack quite a punch. I don't think you'll need much teaching. (They both laughed slightly before Nora gave him a sexy smile)

Nora: Ok Mcbain. You want to teach me how to box, More Power to You. But I should warn you though. I can kick some serious a# so you better make sure that you're prepared to get knocked down a few times.

John: You can knock me down as many times as you want babe.

Nora: You better be careful what you wish for.

John: Oh I think I can handle being knocked down by a beautiful woman. I can certainly think of worse fates can't you?

She looked at him with that classic Nora look before she let him lead her into the other room for her lesson. What neither of them realized at that moment was that this was the first time either of them had laughed in quite a while.

TBC


	7. A Safe Harbor Part 7

A Safe Harbor- Part 7

A Safe Harbor- Part 7

Bo Kneeled down next to his son so he was standing at his level. He wished to God he never had to tell his son something so heartbreaking but he was also aware that he was a smart little boy who deserved to know the truth.

Bo: Your mom's going through some pretty bad stuff right now son. Uncle John is just trying to help her get through it.

Matthew: But why didn't she come to me if she was sad? I could have made her feel better like she always does with me. Whenever I'm sad or upset, she always sings me the blanket song and usually I wake up feeling so much better. She's such a good mom. If she's in pain then she should be with people who care about her like me and Cole. She shouldn't be out there all alone if she's hurt.

Cole: I think I have a pretty good idea of why your mom felt like she had to leave tonight. It had nothing to do with you and how much she loves you. I've seen you two together and believe me Matthew, if she felt like she could be here and not do something that would get her in trouble then she would be.

Matthew: What do you mean?

Cole: You know how you felt when your mom was in a coma? You told me all about that when I first moved in here. You said you were really angry and you just wanted to break something because it wasn't fair that your mom wasn't here. I think that's kind of how she feels right now. I think she's probably feeling like she wants to break something. And with adults, they have to be more careful with their temper because they can get into trouble if they give in to it. She probably went to Uncle John because she knew he would know how to help her work through that anger so she can come home to us. Does that make any sense to you?

Matthew: Yeah, I guess. But I still don't understand what happened? Who hurt my mom?

Bo: Well that's kind of a hard question to answer son. It wasn't just one person. We all made mistakes that hurt her.

Matthew: You did this to her? You and Uncle Clint? Why can't you ever stop hurting her? I thought things were going to be different. I thought you were going to stop making her cry?

Bo: So did I son. I tried… I really tried.

Matthew: How can you say that? It's not that hard to do Dad? Mom's not that hard to love. And I don't understand how either of you can stand there and say that you tried. If you had tried hard enough she wouldn't have left... She wouldn't be in pain… And why do you have to try anyways? You just do it. What did mom ever do to deserve being hurt over and over again? When is she ever going to be happy?

And with that he ran from the room without looking back. Cole was about to go after him when he stopped.

Cole: He's right you know. He might be the youngest Buchanan here but he's the only one with any brains. I HATE that she's suffering because she's one of the only people I know that will go out of her way to help you. She did that for me. She took me in and gave me a home and a family when she didn't have to. She stood by me when it would have been easier to walk away. She did that with both of you too and HOW do you repay her? By breaking her heart over and over again. What the hell did she EVER do to deserve that? All she EVER did was love you. Now look at her. She's in more pain than I have EVER seen her in. I hope you're proud of yourselves. I REALLY hope it was worth it because you not only broke a good woman's heart but you destroyed that little boy who you both claim to love in the process. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see if I can help that kid wrap his mind around the fact that once again his mom is in pain and there's not a damn thing he can do to help her.

Bo paused momentarily before looking at Clint one last time.

Bo: Well I think we've BOTH got a lot of nerve to stand there and act liked we even deserve her forgiveness. They're right. What did she EVER do to deserve that kind of treatment? There are NO excuses and NO justification Clint. We can rationalize it however we damn well please but in the end what does it matter. All that matters is we both played a role in taking that woman and sticking her in her own version of hell. And more then that is the fact that we hurt a little boy who only wanted his mom to be happy. And THAT is unforgivable. It was bad enough we hurt Nora. Hurting Matthew is something neither of us even considered.

Clint: Bo…

Bo: No don't bother. Don't insult my intelligence by pretending that you're sorry for anything other then getting caught. I HATE what I did to Nora but to tell you the truth she's better off without both of us right now. What did we ever do to her but hurt her. At least have the decency to admit that. (Pause) I can't even stand to look at you right now so I'm going to leave before I do something I won't regret.

And with that he walked away and sat in his car for a brief moment before he left for his loft. He knew that confronting Lindsay was not going to be pretty but right now he really didn't give a damn WHAT she said, he wanted her out of his life for good and he didn't care what he had to do to make that happen. Lindsay and Clint were both dead to him.

Nora: Are we ever going to get on with the lesson or are you just going to stand there and lecture me on the do's and don'ts of how to punch a damn sack.

John: Nora, there is art in the way this sport is played. Can you just listen to the finer points for a second?

Nora: I've been LISTENING to you ramble for the last five minutes. I think I can figure out how to do this without knowing how the damn sport was created.

John: Hey, you think you can do better, by all means.

Nora: Of course I can do better. That's why I'm a woman and you're not.

John: hey, just because you're ticked off at the opposite sex doesn't mean you have to lump us all together. Believe it or not, there are SOME people who know how to treat a woman with respect.

Nora: Oh do you even hear yourself. (She starts to laugh) If that is not some poor suckers come on line then I don't know what is.

John: Oh come on Nora, it wasn't THAT bad.

Nora: I'll tell you what? You hold this bag for me and I'll teach you the finer things in life like how you get a woman to pay attention to you. And believe me; it is NOT with lines like that?

John: Oh yeah? Well how exactly did YOU get tangled up then?

Nora (Pausing): I'm not exactly sure. It wasn't really love at first sight. And it didn't come from some come on line like that. It just sort of developed. A woman wants to know when her man is thinking of her. You know the whole courtship thing… The flowers, the phone calls, all the little things. That's what eventually drew me in. And believe me Mcbain; unless a woman is certifiable, those are the things that will get her to notice a man she might not have noticed before. Now spot me will you?

He laughed as she started to stare down at the punching bag and increase her volume with each hit. John was amused.

John: I don't believe it. The lady knows how to box like a pro? How come you didn't tell me you didn't need lessons?

Nora: Oh I don't know. You looked so cute wanting to teach me I didn't want to spoil your fun.

John: Very funny Nora. Very Funny.

Nora: I thought so. (She looks at him) Now what about you? Why don't you show me what you've got?

John: You want to fence?

Nora: Why not? It's pretty obvious I don't need lessons. So unless you're chicken, why don't you go get yourself a pair of these fancy little gloves and see if you can take me.

John: You're on.

When John came back Nora couldn't help but laugh at his obvious discomfort.

Nora: You know, you don't have to look so afraid. I'm not going to bite.

John: What makes you think I'm afraid?

Nora: Oh come on John. I'm not an idiot. (Pause) I'll tell you what? I'll give you a head start? Will that make you feel a little better about dealing with a woman who has extra tension to burn off.

John: Oh WHY did I have to suggest this.

Nora: Come On John, stop being such a baby. Show me what you've got?

He stepped closer to her and started to show her what he believed was the finer points of boxing. She couldn't help laughing.

Nora: Come on Mcbain. You can do better then that? I've SEEN you do better then that?

John: You have?

Nora: Sure. It's not like I haven't seen you at the gym before. Heaven forbid I see you without your shirt. The world is going to end now.

John: Nora…

Nora: Stop being so embarrassed. That's what the gym is for.

John: Nora… (Pause)Wait a minute; I thought you didn't go to the gym? Isn't that too healthy for you?

Nora: Busted. (Pause) I started taking a self defense class that just happened to be in that building. You were there a few times so I saw you.

John: so that's how you got to be so good at kick boxing. I bet you're trainer got more then he bargained for.

Nora: Well… (Looking him dead in the eyes) Stop changing the subject. You still haven't shown me what you're made of. (She paused as she studied him) You know, I think your form is all wrong?

John: My Form? My Form? Where the hell do you get off telling people what their form should be?

Nora: Since I can kick you're a#...

John: All right that's it. No more Mr. Nice guy.

Nora: Oh I'm so scared.

John: you should be.

Nora: No actually, YOU should be.

She accidentally punched him a little too hard, sending him flying on the ground. Nora leaned over him, a little concerned, when she thought she had hurt him.

Nora: John? John, Are you ok?

John: Well you warned me that you'd knock me down didn't you?

They both started laughing slightly as they looked at each other.

Nora: I didn't hurt you did I?

John: Are you kidding me? That was the most fun I've had in a long time.

Nora: Yeah me too. It felt good to laugh again.

John: Yeah me too. (He paused as he looked at her) I'll tell you one thing I've learned…

Nora: What's that?

John: Heaven help anyone who has YOU on their bad side. You're one hell of a woman Nora Hanen. Why ANYONE would EVER choose the likes of Lindsay Rappaport over YOU is just plain stupidity. You're NOT anyone's second choice Nora. Anyone with half a brain would be lucky to have you in their life. You deserve a guy who knows how to put you first.

Nora (Smiling): Thanks John. I think I really needed to hear something like that. You're good for my ego you know?

They both laughed slightly before John looked at her.

John: It's true, you know? You're pretty damn sexy no matter how you cut it. Anyone who can't see that never deserved you in the first place.

Nora (Smiling): Anyone I know?

John: What?

Nora: Stop with the small talk Mcbain? This is the second time you've called me sexy. Not that I mind the sentiment but really? Is there something you're not telling me?

TBC


	8. A Safe Harbor Part 8

A Safe Harbor- Part 8

A Safe Harbor- Part 8

The minute Bo walked into the loft and saw Lindsay he knew things would never be the same.

Bo: What the hell are you doing? Do you really think all of this will make me forget what a tra you are.

Lindsay: Where is this coming from?

Bo: Did you think you could pull this off forever? Did you REALLY think I wouldn't find out?

Lindsay: I don't know what you're talking about.

Bo: Oh cut the crap Lindsay. Stop with all the lies. (Pause) Oh that's right; this is Lindsay we're talking about. She wouldn't know the truth if it hit her square between the eyes. Well let me make it really easy for you… I want you to take that dinner and shove it. As a matter of fact, why don't you get your bags packed and get the hell out of my sight.

Lindsay: You're angry… What did Nora tell you this time?

Bo: Nora isn't responsible for this. And just because you happen to think the world revolves around YOU doesn't mean it does. STOP with your ridiculous vendetta against Nora. She was right about you. Every ugly word she ever said about you was true. And you know what; I was a damn fool for believing you would EVER change. You want someone to blame for this, Look in the damn mirror.

He walked over to the mini bar and picked up a glass of bourbon and downed it.

Bo: You know what? Before you go… there are a few things I want to say to you so you might as well have a seat.

Lindsay: Bo Please just listen to me.

Bo: I don't want to hear any more of your lies. It's not going to make a difference to me WHY you decided to sleep with my brother. I only know you did.

Lindsay: You know.

Bo: That's all you care about isn't it? That you were caught with your pants down. Well you know what Lindsay, I really could care less who you sleep with anymore. You and my brother are both dead to me. So why don't you take your sob story and go show up on HIS doorstep. Although you might have to check the classifieds because he's no longer welcome in the mansion. And if you even THINK of showing up there again you'll get more then you bargained for.

Lindsay: Bo, Look, I know you're upset. And you have every right to be but…

Bo: Gee, thank you SO much for your permission.

Lindsay: We can work this out. We can, I know it.

Bo: You sound like a damn hypocrite to me. YOU were the one who convinced me not to forgive my wife for doing exactly the same thing. And the only difference between what you did and what she did is the fact that she was trying to save my life and YOU were trying to save your own hide. You slept with him because you can't stand the thought that she's happy. You couldn't bare the thought that just maybe she might not be as miserable as you want her to be. Well get over yourself Lindsay. The world doesn't revolve around you and your petty revenge schemes.

Lindsay: She started it.

Bo (Laughing slightly): Oh really? Was she the one who changed test results just to give you a bad day? Did she alter your son's paternity tests? Did she keep you away from your son for almost a year when she made the world think you were dead? Did she try to kill you? Did she break up your engagement to a man because she found you in bed together? And wait… oh that's right did she sleep with the man you loved right under your nose? Because from what I could tell that would ALL be on your head. Nora didn't a start a damn thing Lindsay… YOU did. And I am going to give you all of five minutes to get your things and get the hell out of my house.

Lindsay: But what about….

Bo: I could care less if they drag you back to Statesville or you seduce some poor soul into becoming your guardian. Hell why don't you go find your lover. Maybe you could blackmail him one more time. Lord knows it's the only reason he slept with trash like you. And With Nora not around, you won't even have THAT to worry about. Not that it ever stopped you. Hell I think it made things more exciting because you were taking something else away from her in her own house where she could walk in at any minute. And I guess she did didn't she? But I'll tell you one thing Lindsay… If you EVER go near her again… if you go within 5 feet of my son… or if you even try to contact me again, I swear to God I'll have you dragged back to Statesville like an animal.

Lindsay: Do you really hate me that much? After everything we've been through…

Bo: We haven't been through a damn thing. Everything that EVER transpired between us was a flat out lie. And I will NEVER forgive you for hurting Nora and Matthew. So get the hell out of my life before I call the cops on you.

Lindsay: Are you sure you really want that after this…

She handed him a document.

Bo: I don't believe this. Is there NOTHING you won't stoop to?

John looked at Nora as she searched for answers in his eyes. He was afraid to admit what he was beginning to see in her because he knew it was the last thing she needed. He tried avoidance, knowing perfectly well it would never fly with her.

John: I'm not sure I understand what you mean?

Nora: Sure you do. We've gotten pretty close. You've helped me find a way to channel my anger. We've shared some laughs. You've been my sounding board when I've really needed one. And you've all but admitted that you find me attractive. So I really need you to be honest with me. I'm not going to go running for the hills or go screaming into the night. I just need at least one person in my life to tell me the truth.

John: So what you're asking…

Nora: All I'm asking you John is if there's more to what you've said? Most of the time when a guy tells a girl he thinks she's sexy there's more to it then simply finding her attractive. So what gives?

John: Honestly Nora….

Nora: What?

He took his hand and brushed the hair back from her face as he looked deeply in her eyes.

John: You're Beautiful Nora. You're So Beautiful.

They simply stared into each others eyes for a few minutes until he brought her into him for a passionate kiss that lasted probably longer then it should have. She looked at him with some sort of confusion and then drew him into her for a kiss of her own. When they pulled away this time, they both sat up, obviously shocked by what had just transpired.

Nora: I think we both know that shouldn't have happened.

John: And we both know it was going to anyways

Nora: Oh John. I am nowhere near ready for this.

John: Are you talking about a relationship in general? Or just me?

Nora: I promise you that if I was ready for anything even remotely like this, I would have jumped at the chance of being with a man who just makes me feel so good. (She took his face in her hands) You're so much different then the men I'm used to. You make me feel good John. You make me feel like I'm ok just the way I am. And I haven't had anyone treat me like that in years. The last time I felt this good was when I was married to Bo. And you have to know that if I was a different person I would have let you make love to me right here because I know that it would have been wonderful. I know that YOU would have been wonderful. But I'm just not the type of woman who does that. I just broke up with one man. I had a rather difficult conversation with the father of my son. I kicked him out of my life John. I kicked them both out of my life. And it hurts. It hurts to think that I was so wrong about them. My God John. I'm damaged goods. I can't even promise you tomorrow, much less next week or a year down the line. This has NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with me. I can't be with anyone right now. I need to get my head on straight.

John: I think that has got to be the most attractive sounding kiss off that I've ever heard.

Nora: I'm sorry. I really am.

John: You don't have to be Nora. I completely get it. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.

Nora: Don't. Don't apologize for kissing me. I'm a big girl and I know how to take care of myself. Believe me If I didn't want this I certainly wouldn't have kissed you back.

John: So why did you?

Nora: Because it felt good. You felt good. It felt good to be wanted for a change. Believe me when you're cheated on, it makes you feel like the most undesirable woman in the world. The fact that it was with her makes it even worse. But I really needed someone to want me and not just tolerate me until a better offer came along. You made me feel all of that and more… and when I kissed you, it just felt right. It felt good.

John: you felt good too Nora. And believe me, tolerating you is the last thing in the world I was doing. I wanted you. I wanted you so bad I couldn't stand it anymore. (Pause) I don't know what it is about those Buchanan men but they're idiots for not wanting you. They're idiots because they had it all but they decided to throw it all away for a woman who will NEVER even be half the woman you are.

Nora: Yeah they are. And Thanks. What's that they say about not knowing what you have until it's gone….

John: They are BOTH going to be SO sorry they ever let you get away. Believe me, you just don't get over someone like you.

Nora (Laughing slightly): Good.

John: If you ever change your mind…

Nora: I know where to find you.

She picked herself up off the ground and looked at him.

Nora: We're still friends right?

John: Oh Nora, there is NOTHING that would EVER change that.

Nora: Good. Because I still need you, you know?

John: I feel like I need you too. Though I have no idea why.

Nora; I guess that's just what friends do… they need each other.

John: Yeah I guess. I guess we should clean up this mess huh?

Nora (Pausing): Would you mind terribly if I left you with that? There's something I really need to take care of.

John: Mind if I ask what?

Nora: I have to have a talk with my kids. I shouldn't have run away before I had a chance to talk to them. I don't want them finding out the details from the newspaper or some kid at school. And the last thing I want is them thinking I don't love them enough to stick around.

John: Nora, they don't think that. They know you love them. They're just worried about you.

Nora: Well until a few minutes ago_ I_ was worried about me too. Now I feel like I'm going to be ok. I feel like anything is possible.

John: Do you want me to go with you?

Nora: No, No that's ok. This is something I have to do on my own. I'll call you.

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and then was out the door. John just watched her walk away and wondered how the hell he was going to stop wanting her.

TBC


	9. A Safe Harbor Part 9

A Safe Harbor- Part 9

A Safe Harbor- Part 9

Bo looked up from the document in his hand and stared into Lindsay's cold eyes and for the first time he was able to see what he never had the courage to see before. He saw the eyes of a cold blooded killer who would do ANYTHING to cover her tracks.

Bo: You know, I'm not sure why I never saw this before but now I'm seeing you for exactly what you are and I don't like what I see. You have no soul Lindsay. You have no conscience. EVERYTHING you did was done solely to cover your own hide. And now that you're busted, you want to pull out you're last trump card. You're a desperate woman aren't you?

Lindsay: Aren't you the one who says you want the truth… no matter what it may be? That's exactly what I'm giving you Bo.

Bo: Are you kidding me? Do you REALLY hear yourself? The truth and Lindsay Rappaport DON'T belong in the same sentence. You wouldn't even know what the truth IS; much less actually know how to say it out loud. But hey, you want to play you're little game then that's fine with me. We'll just take a little ride.

He grabbed her by the arm and started leading her out the door.

Lindsay: Where exactly are you taking me?

Bo: Where do you think? If you're going to stand there and play this ridiculous game with me and actually think I'm going to buy that you're pregnant without another test, then you're crazy. We're going to the hospital Lindsay. I'm going to talk to the doctor. And IF you ARE pregnant, then I'm going to find out exactly when you conceived because we both know there's another candidate in the daddy race.

Nora walked into the mansion and poured herself a glass of wine to take the edge off. When she turned around and saw Clint, she forced a smile and continued drinking.

Nora: Didn't I throw you out of here? What are you still doing here?

Clint: I had a little run in with my brother. You just couldn't help yourself could you?

Nora: I don't believe you. YOU'RE the one who cheated on ME and you want to turn this around and make it MY fault. (She Looked Him Straight In the Eyes) You're brother deserved to know the truth before he had to find out up close and personal the way _I_ did. And I may have my issues with him but believe me I would NOT wish that kind of pain on ANYONE

Clint: Nora, for Gods sake, what are you saying? Do you REALLY think this was an ongoing thing?

Nora: I don't know Clint. I have no idea what you're even capable of anymore. And to tell you the truth it doesn't really matter whether it was one time or ten. You KILLED everything we EVER had when you CHOSE to go to bed with her. EVERYTHING she touched belonged to ME and now I don't want ANY of it. I don't want ANYTHING that's tainted.

She walked over to the bar and poured herself another glass. After downing it, she turned around to face him.

Nora: I really don't care if you want to go back to her or not. I don't want you anymore. And I sure as hell don't have to stand here and take your abuse any longer. So if you'll excuse me, I have to go check on the people I actually give a damn about.

She started to walk away when he grabbed her by the arm. She pulled away and hit him exactly where she knew he would be incapacitated and then turned to face him one more time.

Nora: You don't GET to touch me anymore. You LOST that right the minute you stepped out on me. If you try it again, I'll put you in ICU and Feel absolutely no remorse. I feel NOTHING for you Clint. Everything I EVER felt for you died with your betrayal. And quite frankly, you make me sick.

Clint: Is that why you're sleeping with Mcbain?

Nora (Laughing slightly): You know, it would serve you right if I let you believe that I was. It's none of your damn business WHO I'm sleeping with.

Clint: So you're going to stand there and say that you're not.

Nora: I'm not you Clint. I don't throw myself at the first available warm body just to make myself feel better. Not that I couldn't have. He DID kiss me.

Clint: And you did what exactly?

Nora: What Do You THINK I Did? I kissed Him back. And I'm not going to stand there and let you make me feel guilty for allowing a man to make me feel good again. Just because you treat me like trash doesn't mean I'm going to allow it to continue. For once in my life I seem to have found someone who isn't totally blind sided by Lindsay's game and you know what? It feels good. It feels REAL good. _I _feel good. As a matter of fact, I feel GREAT.

Clint: And you actually expect me to believe that you're not sleeping around after what you've just told me?

Nora: Are you seriously going to stand there and call me a sl after what YOU just did? You've got to be the most self righteous pig that I've ever met and I wish to god I was never stupid enough to fall for you but that's over now. What I do and who I do it with is none of your damn business. So you better keep your damn mouth shut unless it's to wish me well. You haven't got a leg to stand on.

Clint: You can REALLY get over us that easy?

Nora: Doesn't feel so good does it? To know that I'm not just going to sit on my hands and knees and cry over you? (Pause) If you thought that I would then you don't know me at all. I am NOTHING if not a fighter. I'll get over you before you know it and you won't even be an afterthought. And I hope you miss me every second of every day for the rest of your life because it's exactly what you deserve. I was the best thing that happened to you since Viki and you threw it all away for the bit who wrecked my life just like you threw Viki away for the bit who wrecked hers. You haven't changed at all. You're still the same self centered bastd who can't see what's right in front of his face. So you know what Clint? You can take your lying, cheating a# out of my house before I call the cops on you.

She walked away from him and went upstairs to find Cole and Matthew saying a prayer. It broke her heart to know it was her they were praying for. She smiled as they turned around and saw her. Matthew ran into his mothers arms and gave her a hug.

Nora: Hey there big guy. How's momma's little angel?

Matthew: I'm fine mom. It was you I was worried about. Are you ok?

Nora: I don't want you to worry about me sweetie. I think momma's going to be just fine. Hey, I'm a fighter. I've come back from worse then a broken heart. I'll bounce back from this too. And you know why?

Matthew: Why?

Nora: Because there is NOTHING more important to me then my number one guy. (She gave him a kiss on the forehead). Hey Cole… Thanks for taking care of him. You're part of the reason I came back too. I want to tell you something that I was afraid to tell you before because I don't want you to think I'm trying to take your mothers place.

Cole: I know you're not. Nora, I would NEVER think that. You've given me more then I could ever ask for. And you've got one of the biggest hearts of anyone I've ever seen.

Nora: I think that could be considered a flaw. I give my heart 110 and I never get anything back. Everyone I've ever loved has thrown me over for Lindsay.

Cole: I'm sorry. I had no idea it was that bad.

Nora: Nobody does until it's too late. She'll stab you in the back without a second thought. And she'll LOVE doing it. But we'll get to that in a second. (Pause) Cole, what I want to tell you is this. I love you. I couldn't love you any more if you were my own son. I know that when I took you in I made no demands of you and I'm not going to start now. But I do want to tell you that if you're ready, and if you're willing, I would love to make you my son legally. I'm not trying to take your moms place and I would completely understand if you turned me down but I want to put that offer out there. I'm making some changes in my life Cole and I want one of them to be us making a real family. Please tell me you'll think about it.

Cole: Nora, you have no idea how much that means to me. You've just been through the worst kind of pain and yet here you are reaching out to me. I have NEVER known anyone as giving as you. I would love to be part of your family. In case you haven't figured it out, I love you too.

She pulled him into a hug as she tried to stop her tears.

Nora: Oh God, you have no idea how happy you've just made me. Thank you for never giving up on me. I'm sorry if I scared you.

Cole: You're a good person Nora. One of these days you're going to find someone who will give you everything you deserve. Until then you have us to help you through.

Matthew: Yeah mom, we're here for you.

Nora: I know that sweetie and I appreciate it. That's why I'm going to level with you… with both of you. I don't want you to hear the details on the six o clock news or from some jerk at school. The fact is that the reason that I'm in so much pain begins and ends with Lindsay Rappaort… and its time you both knew why I hate that woman with every fiber of my being.

TBC


	10. A Safe Harbor Part 10

A Safe Harbor- Part 10

A Safe Harbor- Part 10

Bo dragged Lindsay into the hospital and demanded to see a doctor. Lindsay didn't say a word as the doctor came out to see what the commotion was about.

Bo: She needs a pregnancy test.

Lindsay: Bo, come on, this is ridiculous. I already had a test done.

Bo: So take another one. If you really ARE pregnant then it should be no problem. You can't just expect me to believe you without any proof to back it up.

Lindsay: Do you REALLY have that little faith in me after everything that's happened?

Bo: I have zero faith in you after everything you've pulled. The fact that we even have to go down this road makes me sick. The fact that I EVER let you touch me makes me skin crawl.

Lindsay: You don't mean that. You can't mean that. Bo, don't I mean anything at all to you?

Bo: You're NOTHING to me. And after we get this test done, I'm going to have you removed from my life all together. Because of you, I've lost the woman I've loved for most of my life. And the fact is I've got no one to blame but myself because I allowed you to manipulate me into believing in YOU when I should have believed in HER. Now she's gone and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. And the fact that I'm standing here with you at all is probably what I deserve for walking away from the only woman I've ever truly loved but that's beside the point. I WON'T let you manipulate me anymore. And I WON'T let you hurt Nora ever again.

Lindsay: Why is it ALWAYS about her? Can't you see how toxic she is?

Bo: The only one who's toxic is you. You destroy everything you touch. Now are you going to get the damn test or not?

She didn't say anything as she left him alone. He started to pace the floors of the hospital as he prayed that this was just some horrible mistake, knowing it probably wasn't. He didn't know how much time had gone by, by the time they finally walked out and he was told the truth he already knew.

Bo: She's pregnant isn't she?

Doctor: About a month.

Bo: That means…. Wait a minute… I KNEW it. There is NO WAY I could be that child's father. I was out of town that week. So that means that either you've found some poor sucker to manipulate into bed or this thing with Clint was more then a one time thing. I'm betting on the latter.

Lindsay: Bo, please. He doesn't have to know. You say you care about Nora, don't you think she would be better off not knowing? This is going to kill her.

Bo: You actually expect me to believe that you give a damn about Nora? You HATE her. This is probably you're dream come true. And as far as Clint goes, I'm NOT doing anything to protect him anymore. He's as dead to me as you are. And I'm NOT going to lie to Nora one more time. I think it's a little late for her to be spared the pain. She's already suffering.

Lindsay: But…

Bo: Oh No, Lindsay… You and I are going to pay my brother a little visit whether I have to drag you there myself. This is going to kill Nora and I wish to God I never had to tell her but I WON'T lie to her for you. And Clint deserves to know that he's going to be a daddy. You kept me from Matthew for years. No matter what I feel for Clint right now, I WON'T be a part of keeping him from his child… even if that poor kid will be saddled with you for a mom. As far as I'm concerned you and Clint deserve each other. Now let's go.

Nora turned to look at Matthew, knowing this would be the hardest for him to hear. She wished there was a way to spare him the pain but she knew there would have to only be honesty.

Nora: There's really no way for me to tell you this without starting at the beginning so that's what I'll do. This is going to be hard for you to hear Matthew so if you need me to stop, I will.

Matthew: I'll be fine Mom.

Nora: Yeah I suppose you will be. You're such a strong little boy. Sometimes I think you're stronger then I am. (Pause) Lindsay came to town because she found out that I was in contact with Sam. To be more specific, he was defending Bo against murder charges. We had just gone through this really rough time with a woman who was obsessed with him and she would up dead. Bo was the main suspect and he asked Sam to defend him. During that time I believed that he was having an affair so I wound up in a hotel room with Sam, drunk on pain and booze and I almost made the worst mistake of my life. Eventually I found out he was set up but Lindsay never forgot that Sam wanted me and she was so jealous that she stayed in town and tried to cause problems in our marriage. It never worked until his son was killed. Before Drew was killed we were trying to have a child and we went through all these tests to see if that was even a possibility. My tests came back clean and we hadn't gotten the tests for Bo back yet. Somehow Lindsay ended up with the test results. And to make a long story short, she switched the results so we believed that he couldn't father children and she did this because she wanted to give me a bad day. After Drew was killed, Bo was a wreck. I was scared to death he was going to kill himself so I told him I was pregnant. At the time I didn't think anything of it because I figured that if I wasn't already I would be soon. And then I got the news that we would never be able to have kids. I tried to tell Bo the truth when he came back from the boat and almost died but he flat lined and I almost lost him again. I wasn't going to risk his health again so I did the worst thing imaginable and went to bed with Sam, trying to get pregnant so I could give my husband the only thing I thought would save his life… a child. Turns out I never even had to do that because I was already pregnant. Then when we found out Bo could have kids, we had a paternity test done. Lindsay switched those tests to make it look like Sam was the father and we never found out till much later that Bo was actually Mathew's father.

Cole: That's terrible.

Nora: Well that was only the beginning. We were on a Train taking Lindsay's son Will to prison and it crashed. Everyone believed I was dead when I was REALLY in some hospital not able to walk or talk. Lindsay found this out and paid the man who ultimately became obsessed with me to hold me hostage while everyone continued to grieve for me.

Matthew: She's the reason we thought you were dead? I don't remember much about that time but I do remember crying for you. And when you came back, I thought you were a ghost. Lindsay's the reason we had to grieve for you? How could she do that? How could she keep you away from me?

Nora: I don't know sweetie. I don't know the reason she does half the things she does. (Pause) Do you think you can handle me going on? I don't want to overwhelm you with too much?

Matthew: I'm ok mom.

Nora: That's momma's big boy. (She gave him a kiss on the head) When Lindsay found out she was going to be caught, she knew she had to act fast. I don't know how she did it but she got her hands on a drug that would erase my memory. She was trying to erase my memory of knowing she was involved in the kidnapping but she didn't know how much to give me. I begged her not to do it and to think of my kids. But ultimately she gave me the drug and I lost years of my life. I even lost my memory of you Matthew. It took a long time for me to recover those memories but eventually I remembered those who were important to me. But it could never replace the years that I lost because of her.

Matthew: I'm sorry mom.

Nora: Yeah me too. Unfortunately it doesn't stop there.

Cole: This woman really sounds like a crazy person?

Nora: You could say that. (Pause) The guy that Lindsay paid to hold me hostage was eventually killed. I killed him to stop him from hurting me. My two exes's convinced the judge not to throw the book at me and no charges were filed. This made Lindsay very mad. His brother Troy came to town and he ultimately helped me get Lindsay to confess. But she faked insanity to get away with it and I caught her trying to escape the nut house. She went crazy and tried to strangle me. Bo and Troy showed up and rescued me but I'll never forget what she did. Then Troy and I were supposed to get married and the week before our wedding I walked in on them in bed together. Apparently she had blackmailed him because she knew all about his past and he decided to go along with the blackmail instead of trust me with the truth. Needless to say, I called off our wedding and eventually Lindsay lost him too. There's a long list of horrible things that Lindsay has done to me but those are the important ones. And now she's done the same thing with Clint. She blackmailed him into sleeping with her and I found them in bed together. It just brought me back to all the horrible things she ever did to me. I really thought he was different. He was supposed to be one of the good guys. But he hurt me more then just about anyone. How could he do this to me? I trusted him. I gave him everything I had and he broke my heart into a million little pieces in one night.

Cole: He never deserved you Nora. Anyone who would do that to you doesn't deserve you.

Matthew: Are you going to be ok Mom? You look kind of sad.

Nora: I AM sad. I'm sad because the man I believed in doesn't exist. But I'll be ok Matthew. I have my boys to help me. And I have…

Cole: John. You have John too don't you?

Nora: Well yeah. We're friends. And his friendship has meant the world to me these last few days. I don't think I would have survived if he hadn't been there.

Cole: Are you sure its only friendship with John?

Nora: I'm not really sure WHAT it is with John. All I know is that he makes me feel good. I haven't felt good in too long.

Matthew: Maybe you should call him then?

Nora: Yeah, Maybe I should. Would that be ok with you Matthew?

Matthew: I just want you to be happy Mom. You deserve to be happy.

Cole: The kid's right you know. You deserve to have happiness in your life.

Nora: Thanks Guys. Now you know why I hate Lindsay so much and why I need you to be careful when you come into contact with her. She will do ANYTHING to hurt me. I need to make sure that my boys are safe. Promise me you'll watch your backs.

Matthew and Cole: We will.

Nora: Good. Now try to get some sleep will you. (She gave them both a kiss on the head and then closed the door).

Viki had just shown up and found Clint about to leave.

Viki: So you're FINALLY leaving huh?

Clint: What are you doing here?

Viki: I'm here to give you a piece of my mind.

She walked up to him and slapped him/

Viki: that was for hurting my best friend. I really don't know where you get off hurting her like that. It was bad enough that you cheated on her but the fact that you did it with Lindsay, in her own home, is beyond disgusting. How could you do that to a good woman who NEVER did ANYTHING but love you? I used to think you were a decent person. Heck, I even encouraged you to follow your hearts. But I NEVER would have done that if I knew you were going to hurt her. She deserves a heck of a lot better then you. You're worse then you're father was. And I think he would be appalled at how much you hurt a woman he loved like a daughter. I hope it was worth it Clint. I hope sleeping with that bit was worth it because it just cost you everything good in your life. And you know what? That's EXACTLY what you deserve because you NEVER saw what an AMAZING woman you had until she FINALLY had the courage to leave your sorry a#. The best thing Nora did was kick you to the curb.

She didn't get to say anything further before Bo and Lindsay showed up and Nora came down the stairs.

Nora: (To Bo and Lindsay) what the hell are you two doing here? (To Clint) And why haven't YOU left yet? The only person I want to see out of all of you is Viki. The rest of you can get the hell out.

Bo: There's something you need to know.

Nora: What is it that I could possibly have to know? Haven't we said everything we have to say?

Bo: This isn't about us Nora. It's about Lindsay. You need to know her latest stunt?

Nora: What has she done this time? Broken a nail? I don't care anymore. I just want her out of my life. I want you all out of my life. Is that TOO much to ask for?

Bo: I promise to leave after we tell you what you need to know.

Nora: Fine. If it will speed this thing up then just tell me what it is you need to say and get the hell out.

Viki stepped closer to Nora in a gesture of support as Bo and Lindsay walked in.

Nora: you have five minutes. Then I'm kicking you all out.

Bo: You want to tell her or shall I? (He paused as he looked at her, realizing Lindsay would NEVER tell the truth) Nora, Lindsay's pregnant.

Nora: She's WHAT? You've got to be kidding me.

Lindsay: Aren't you going to congratulate me on the happy news?

Nora: What I SHOULD be asking is which one of you poor souls I should be sending a fathers day card to? Or shall I say? Which one of my dear ex's managed to get the bit knocked up because they were stupid enough to NOT use birth control? What the hell did you do Lindsay? Slice the condoms? Conveniently forget to take your pills and then lie about it? Or hey, maybe you just drugged them. That seems to be your favorite past time.

Lindsay: You would like to believe that wouldn't you?

Nora: No, actually, I just want someone in this godforsaken house to actually be honest about SOMETHING. So is one of you going to tell me or do I have to guess? (When she looked at Bo, she knew right away)

Nora: Oh God… God Its Clint isn't it?

Bo: I had it checked out. I'm sorry Nora… I was out of town that week. She's about a month along so apparently this thing with Clint was more then a one time thing. I wish I didn't have to be the one to tell you but apparently Lindsay is pregnant with Clint's child.

Nora (Falling to the couch): Oh God… God this can't be happening. He was supposed to be with ME… he was supposed to….

Viki: Nora… Nora, sweetie, are you ok? You look a little flushed. Nora?

Nora(Looking at Clint): Do you want to know why I came home early that day? Do you want to know why I was even there? (Pause) You probably didn't even notice because you were getting it on with my worst enemy in OUR bedroom… For Gods sake Clint, you slept with her in MY bed… In MY house… right under MY nose. And the sad thing is that I came home to tell you that _I _was pregnant.

Clint: You're Pregnant?

Nora: I said I WAS Pregnant? It was a high risk pregnancy as it was and I was NEVER supposed to be able to conceive. But they were VERY specific when they told me I had to avoid stress. Well guess what Clint? Finding you're new fiancé in bed with your mortal enemy definitely qualifies as stress…

Clint: Nora…

Nora: No… No shut up you bastd. I'm not finished with you. (Pause) She killed my baby Clint. You both killed my baby. You hear that? It was MY baby. You never wanted to be a father because you could barely handle the kids you DID have. And the fact that I was pregnant was just another complication you didn't want. Well that's ok sweetie. Why don't you go make a family with the woman you took to bed in MY house while I was loosing MY child?

(She walked over to Clint and slapped him as hard as she could)

Nora: YOU SOB. After everything I gave you, all you give me back is more lies and betrayal. Did I EVER mean ANYTHING to you or was EVERY moment just a means to an end? How could you do this to me Clint? I loved you. I trusted you. And all you've managed to do is break my heart a little more every day. (She took off her ring and threw it his face) Take your damn ring back. Give it to Lindsay for all I care.

Clint: Nora please…

Nora: DON'T YOU DARE… Don't stand there and ask me to calm down. I lost our baby. I lost our baby because you were getting it on with my worst enemy in our own home… and in our bedroom…. As far as I'm concerned you killed your own child. And now you're having a baby with the woman who helped you kill her. DON'T stand there and act like you deserve ANY kind of sympathy from me. You have messed with me for the last time. GET OUT. ALL OF YOU JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE. GET OUT AND DON'T COME BACK. YOU MAKE ME SICK.

She started to walk away when she noticed Lindsay's smiling face. She stopped her in her tracks by slugging her in the face.

Nora: It would have been a hell of a lot worse if you weren't pregnant.(Pause) you're nothing but a two faced bit who deserves everything she gets. You killed my baby and you wrecked my life ten times over. Stay away from me and the people I love or I swear I'll make you wish you had. NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I HAVE YOU PHYSICALLY REMOVED.

She opened the door to let everyone walk through when a delivery man standing there with a bouquet of flowers.

Delivery Man: Which one of you is Nora Hanen?

Nora: That would be me. (She looked at Bo and Clint as she picked up the card) If these are from either one of you, I swear to God I'll throw them at you… (She read the card and smiled)They're from John. How sweet.

She paid the delivery man as Bo and Clint watched her read the card and seethed with Jealousy over her newfound sense of independence. She said nothing further as she kicked everyone but Viki out.

Viki: Nora?

Nora: He says that he's sorry if he over stepped and that he will always be here for me.

Viki: Is that all?

Nora: He wants to see me again.

Viki: And?

Nora: And I don't know.

She went to put the flowers in water. And turned to face Viki.

Nora: Look, I really don't know what's going on with us but I do know how hard it is for him to open up to someone. I care about him Viki. He's been really good to me. Right now that's about all I can handle.

Viki: And him?

Nora: Well he did kiss me. I'm not sure what that means but I do know that I want to see him again. He makes me feel not so crappy if you what I mean.

Viki: I do know. And Nora, you deserve that. You deserve a man who will absolutely cherish you. But I saw what just happened? And I think you need to tell me about your baby?

Nora: There's nothing to tell really. I found out I was pregnant the same night I found Clint in bed with Lindsay. I was on my way to John's when I felt cramping. I made an emergency detour to the hospital and they told me I lost my child. I was devastated Viki. This child didn't deserve to have a father like Clint but she did. And because of that she's dead.

Viki: She?

Nora: I know I only had her for a little while But I already had a feeling she was going to be a girl. I made a grave in the park and laid flowers there. Then I took off because I couldn't handle facing the truth. I needed a friend so I went to Johns. I didn't tell him I lost my child because I couldn't face the reality yet.

Viki: And Now?

Nora: I feel so much anger… and rage… and I feel so much pain and sadness that sometimes I think I'm going to drown in it. I'm afraid that if I start crying I'm never going to stop.

Viki: Nora, sweetheart, you need to cry. You've been focusing so much on your anger and your rage that you're holding all your emotions inside. You need to let yourself feel. You need to let everything out because if you don't, you're going to end up in a world of pain where you're constantly breaking down.

Nora: I already AM in pain Viki. I HATE that I can't trust Bo. He was supposed to be the ONE person who told me the truth and he lied. He lied for his brother, who turned out to be nothing but a two faced SOB. I HATE That Clint lied to me. I HATE that he cheated on me. And Now I find out it was going on a hell of a lot longer then I thought. When are the lies going to stop? Damn it, it kills me that she's pregnant. She's living out all my dreams and she NEVER should have been allowed to walk the streets after what she did to me. I HATE her. I HATE her so much that I….that I…

When she started to cry hysterically, Viki held on to her as they sank to the floor.

Viki: Its ok sweetie. Let it out. Let all those emotions out. I'll be right here. I'll ALWAYS be right here for you, I promise.

She cried hysterically for the next 30 minutes with her head in Viki's lap, Feeling all those emotions she was so afraid to feel, With Viki stroking her hair telling her it would be ok. When she had no more tears left to cry, they went to the kitchen and ate ice cream. Nora made a comment about how nothing cures a broken heart like ice cream and they both laughed slightly. Then Nora took off and Viki followed her into the bedroom where she was tearing the sheets off of the bed in a rage.

Viki: Sweetie, what are you doing? Nora, look at me?

She turned around to face her, the anger boiling in her eyes.

Nora: He cheated on me in MY bedroom… In MY Bed… I'm getting rid of the evidence. I'm going to burn everything that reminds me of that SOB.

Viki: You need some help?

Nora: I would LOVE some help. Maybe you can get the curtains. This room is having a complete makeover.

Viki laughed slightly as she handed her the curtains. They tore the whole room apart and put everything in a pile.

Matthew: What's going on in here?

Cole: Wow, looks like you tore this whole place apart.

Nora: I'm having a bonfire. You two want to help?

Matthew and Cole: Sure

Nora: Go into the family room and bring me ANYTHING that has Uncle Clint's touch on it. I don't care what it is… I want no reminders that he EVER lived here.

They both looked at her as they left. Matthew asked Cole if he thought she'd be ok and he told him that this was probably the healthiest thing she could ever do for herself. He seemed to feel a little better and they went into the other room and tore it apart, per Nora's request. After they had gathered everything that was a reminder, they put it in boxes and moved it outside. They all watched as Nora set fire to all of his belongings. Then she turned to face them.

Nora: Well I have to admit that that felt good. I feel much better now.

Viki: Well now you need a new bed. What exactly are you going to do about that Nora?

Nora: I'll buy a new one. Until then, I'll sleep on the floor.

Matthew: You can sleep with me mom

Nora: See, now there's the best offer I've had all night. (She gave him a kiss on the head) How about I tuck you in tonight?

Matthew: Can you read me a story?

Nora: I would love to. Go brush your teeth and I'll be right up.

Cole: Are you sure you're ok?

Nora: I will be. I just had a bit of a shock.

Cole: Anything you want to talk about?

Nora: Not tonight. But I promise you that I will tell you as soon as I can. I just need to find a way to accept this first.

Cole: I understand. (He gave her a kiss on her head) Please take care of yourself. Matthew and I need you.

Nora: I need you too. I need you both so much.

After they left, she turned to Viki.

Viki: Ok sweetheart, I don't want to step out of line here but you're unraveling right in front of me. I think what you need right now is John. Am I correct in assuming that he knows how to calm you down? That he makes you laugh?

Nora: At the moment, yes he does.

Viki: Then go say goodnight to Matthew and Cole and then go see John. You REALLY need to find a way to get a handle on your emotions Nora. If you don't then you're going to spiral out of control and that's not good for ANYONE.

Nora and Viki hugged. Viki gave her a kiss on her head.

Viki: I love you sweetie. I just don't want you coming undone.

Nora: I love you too Viki. Thanks for being one of the best friends I ever had.

Viki: Hey, that's the easy part. You're easy to love. Call me ok?

Nora: I will. Thanks for always being here.

Viki watched her walk away and was worried sick about her well being.

Viki: Damn you Clint Buchanan. Damn you.

After Nora said goodnight to Matthew and Cole, she decided that what she really needed was to see John so she grabbed her jacket and headed for his loft.

Nora (Smiling): Hey you. Thank you for the flowers. You have no idea how much I needed them after the night I just had.

John: Did something happen that I don't know about?

Nora: It seems that Clint managed to get Lindsay pregnant.

John: I'm sorry.

Nora: Don't be. I'm finally done with him. I had a bonfire tonight. I got rid of everything that was holding me back. And I don't want to think about him tonight. I came here because I wanted to ask you if you would go with me to do something.

John: Mind if I ask what?

Nora: I was pregnant for all of five minutes. I lost my baby when I found Clint in bed with Lindsay. They killed my child. But they weren't going to deprive me of making a grave site. I needed somewhere to go even though technically what I had was only a miscarriage.

John: Loosing a child is never easy. Whether you had a miscarriage or not isn't the point. You're child was alive to you and that's all that matters.

Nora: So will you go with me John? I have to say goodbye to her and I'm not sure I can do it alone.

John: That's just about the best offer I've had all night.

Nora: Just about?

John: Ok, it WAS the best.

Nora (Smiling): That's better.

John: Just let me go get changed and we'll…

Nora: Don't be silly. I think you look pretty darn good. And besides, we're just going to the park. It's not like anyone will even NOTICE you.

John: Sounds good to me.

He closed the door and handed her the keys…

John: You want to drive?

Nora: I thought you'd never ask.

TBC


	11. A safe Harbor Part 11

**A Safe Harbor- Part 11**

The leaves were just starting to fall off the trees as the wind blew when Nora and John walked into the park. She walked over to the stone she had placed in the spot where her name had once been in big letters. She ran her hands over her daughters name as the tears fell from her face. John walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder to offer her his support. She took his hand as she looked at him and then back at her daughter's grave site.

Nora: This is where they had my stone all those years ago when everyone thought I was dead. I figured it would be the perfect place to mourn my little girl.

John: You named her Victoria?

Nora: After my best friend, and in a way after Clint's grand daughter. Jessica's daughter Megan, who didn't survive, was going to have Victoria as her middle name so I figured I'd give it to her and keep that legacy alive. I was going to ask Clint if that would be ok with him but I never got the chance.

John: You already had a name picked out?

Nora: As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to name her after Viki. She's so much a part of both of our lives it only made sense. But now…

John: Its Ok Nora. You can do this.

Nora: She shouldn't be here John. I shouldn't be coming here to say goodbye to my little girl while Lindsay gets to live all the dreams that _I_ had planned out. It's not fair. It's not fair that I'm ALWAYS loosing because of HER. Why is she still out there John? Why hasn't she been caught? And why am _I_ the one who ALWAYS looses everything because of one of her lies?

John: I wish I could answer that sweetheart. You deserve justice. You deserve so much more then what you've been given. (He kisses her forehead) I wish there was something I could do for you. I wish there was something I could say that would make this better. The only thing I have is this… If she goes near you again… if she goes near your kids… I swear to God, I will make sure she never sees the light of day again. Her days of going after you are over. You're safe with me Nora. I hope you know that?

Nora: If I didn't then I wouldn't be here with you would I? (Pause) Oh John, I feel so useless right now. My life is coming undone right in front of me and I don't know what to do about it. I used to be able to handle anything that life threw at me but this… how do I handle this? How can I wake up every day and be ok with the fact that my fiancé not only cheated on me in my own home for God knows how long but that he actually got her pregnant? How do I deal with the fact that his brother… the father of my son… a man I once considered my best friend… how can I accept that he lied to me? He looked me straight in the face and he lied to me… he lied for his brother. And though I can understand the family loyalty, I can't accept that he hung me out to dry in order to do it. And what about his son? He lied to his own Son John. Matthew had a right to know what kind of man his uncle was. How could he look that little boy in the face and let him believe that he was a decent man when he KNEW that he wasn't? I get that he wanted to protect his family but Matthew should have come first. And even if he wanted to protect him, how could the lies protect him in the end? He had to know it would come out eventually. Did he think we would be better off then? When is he going to learn that lying is never the answer? When is he going to learn that we don't want to be protected from the truth? And my little girl… she's dead because of lies. How do I deal with that? How do I get past this? God John, I feel like I'm going to loose it and that scares me half to death because all I've really wanted was to have control of my life and I don't have it now. I don't have control of anything anymore.

John: I know you don't see it sweetheart but you're stronger then you think. You have been hurt more times then anyone has a right to be hurt but you ALWAYS stand back up. Look at you Nora? Look where you are? You're standing at you're daughters grave site and you're still in one piece. You're NOT broken. They didn't break you. NOBODY can break you without your permission.

He paused as he took her hands in his and looked at her.

John: Clint has already taken so much from you. DON'T let him take what's left of you're dignity. I know this is probably the hardest thing you have EVER had to go through but I know that you can do this Nora. You just put one foot in front of the other every day… you wake up and you live. And before you know it, it will get easier. But don't you DARE give up on yourself. DON'T give in to the darkness. If you do then you're letting them win… you're giving them the power that you say you want. Take it back Nora. Take back your life.

She started to cry as she walked over to the stone and again placed her hand on the name.

Nora: I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. I only had you for a little while. But you were my little girl and I know that somewhere out there, you are probably watching down on all of us. I'm sorry you were never given a chance to live. I'm sorry I didn't take better care of you. I…I'm so sorry. (Pause) Goodbye my sweet angel. I'll never forget you. I would have loved you more then you could ever know and I'll love you until the day I die and beyond. No one ever forgets their child. And I sure as hell will never forget you.

She turned to face John, tears falling from her face.

Nora: This is so hard. How can I do this John? How can I move on from this? I'm not that strong. Everyone always says to be strong… but you know what? At the end of the day what the hell has being strong EVER gotten me?

She turned away from him in that moment and tried to run from the emotions in her heart. John ran after her and caught up to her at the car as the rain started to come down. She couldn't tell where her tears ended and the storm began. He simply took his hand and wiped the tears that trickled down her face. At that moment she remained still… perfectly still… so still that it scared him. When he looked at her now, he could tell that she was struggling to find some sort of silver lining in a world that no longer made sense to her. Without thinking, he reached out his hand to her and she took it, finally allowing herself to break down in his arms, unable to fight anything anymore. When she pulled away from him, he reacted on instinct and they shared a tender kiss in the falling rain. She looked up at him, for the first time seeing that she had someone in her life that hadn't gone screaming into the night when she came undone. And she really wasn't sure what to make of that.

John: Please don't run away from me Nora. Don't EVER run away like that and scare me half to death. I need you to be ok.

Nora: I'm not sure ok is a word that would describe me right now.

John: Don't shut me out. You need to stop running away from the people who care about you. Stop trying to take all of this on by yourself and let someone help you. Please Nora… let me help you. Let me be there for you the way you have ALWAYS been there for me.

Nora: I'm not very good at that.

John: Yeah I noticed.

They both laughed slightly before John paused and looked at her.

John: I'm going to tell you something I never told anyone before. And I'm going to tell you this because I think it might help you. (Pause) When my Fiancé Caitlin was killed, she was pregnant.

Nora: She was? Oh John, I'm so sorry.

John: I'm telling you this because I want you to know that it IS possible to get through something like that. As horrible as it is, there IS a way for you to survive. I did. I was a wreck after it happened and I swore I'd never allow myself to get that close again but there WAS a light at the end of the tunnel. And somehow Nora, you've got to find that light. You've got to keep holding you're head up high. You can do it Nora. I KNOW you can. You just have to believe in yourself.

Nora (Pausing): I'll try. Right now that's all I've got.

John: Right now that will have to be enough (Pause) so what do you say? You want to trust me enough to let me take you somewhere I think you need to go?

Nora (Pausing): Right now, you're about the only person I DO trust.

John: I'll take that as a compliment. Now come on. The rest of your life is waiting for you.

Bo walked into his loft and sat in the dark as the music played softly in the background. For the first time in a really long time, he felt completely and utterly lost. Nora had been pregnant… those words kept playing over and over in his mind as he could picture her breaking down right in front of him. She lost her child… in a round about way; his lies had cost her her child. He didn't know if he would EVER get that image of her looking at him with pleading eyes out of his head. When she found out that Lindsay was pregnant, it was as if someone had kicked her in the stomach. She wanted someone to tell her it was all a lie. She wanted someone to tell her that everything was going to turn out the way it was supposed to. But most of all she wanted someone to tell her that it was ok. And how could ANYTHING be ok for Nora now? She lost her baby and Lindsay got to keep hers. Once again, Lindsay had cost Nora EVERYTHING she held dear. Sometimes the ways of the world just didn't make sense. And this was something that would NEVER make sense to him. She had suffered and been betrayed, been lied to and cast aside like a piece of furniture… was there ANYTHING that they hadn't put her through? Was there ANYTHING that would make her ok again?

He went to the closet and pulled out the box of their life together. She was so happy then. THEY were so happy then. How could he have EVER thought that walking away would EVER be what was best for either of them? How could he have been so blind? How could he have been stupid enough to give up on the best woman he knew?

When he thought back on his life and all the women who had been in it, Nora was the one who was always there. No matter what had gone down, no matter what kind of hell they put each other through, come hell or high water, SHE was the one who was there for him. She had seen him at his worst and she had never once abandoned him. And yet, what had he EVER given her but a broken heart. He hadn't been there for her. He hadn't trusted her. He hadn't treated her with any kind of respect. He just walked away. And now he was sitting alone in a room with so many memories and the only thing he could think of was how he made the worst mistake of his life when he threw her away like yesterday's garbage. And now… Now Nora was moving on and she didn't want him in her life anymore. And the worst part of all is that it's exactly what he deserves…

He thought about picking up the phone and calling but he knew she wouldn't answer. He knew she wouldn't have anything to do with him right now. He missed her… Her smile, her face, her laughter… everything about her was etched in his mind like a snap shot and now it was like a broken record playing over and over in his head. He guessed it was like she had missed him all those years ago when no calls or no visits came and she finally had to give up. He wondered if she had called out his name the way he was calling for her now. If he closed his eyes, he still reached for her in the middle of the night… and he still woke up alone. Ten years… he had ten years to figure it out and by the time he finally did, it was when he had broken her heart one too many times. Why couldn't he have figured it out a long time ago… even six months ago would have been nice… but now… now he had to accept the fact that he was in love with a woman who was cutting him out of her life the same way he did with her when their marriage ended. He guessed that's what they meant when they said that turnabout is fair play. The only question now was what the hell was he going to do about it? And what made him think he even had a right to?

TBC


	12. A Safe Harbor Part 12

**A Safe Harbor- Part 12**

Nora's hands had almost stopped trembling by the time John led her down the streets of the carnival. Though it had been raining, she hadn't questioned him when he paid for their tickets. When they got inside the gates, Nora couldn't help but smile at him.

Nora: Well I have to admit, this is the absolute last place I thought you would be taking me. I haven't been to one of these things in ages.

John (Pause): I realize its raining but…

Nora: I'm not complaining am I? (Pause) Hey, I think there's something kind of exciting about going to a carnival when it's pouring down rain. Its something new isn't it?

John: I think what you need more then anything right now is a few hours of uninterrupted laughter. And let's face it Nora… Can you think of any place in this town that's more capable of accomplishing that then a carnival?

Nora (Smiling): No… No Actually I can't. But I should warn you McBain… I have a tendency to want to go on the same ride until I'm dizzy.

John: Isn't that what Carnival's are for? (They both laughed slightly) Lead the way sweetheart… this is your night.

Nora: Oh I like the sound of that.

She took his hand as they started to run off to explore the empty carnival in the rain.

* * *

Bo was still sitting in the dark, trying to will himself to go upstairs where he knew he would just lie in bed and dream of Nora, when the doorbell rang. He thought for a brief second of ignoring it but the thought that it could be her had him jumping to his feet, even though he knew how unlikely that was.

Viki: Sorry Bo, Not Nora.

Bo: What are you doing here Viki?

Viki: What do you THINK I'm Doing here? To give you a piece of my mind.

She didn't give him a chance to say anything further as she walked past him into the loft.

Bo: Look Viki… I don't know what it is you think you can tell me that I don't already know.

Viki: I saw the look on your face when Nora told Clint she had been pregnant. I guess now you know how SHE felt when you got Lindsay pregnant all those years ago.

Bo: Viki, I had no idea she was even pregnant then.

Viki: doesn't matter Bo. You almost married Lindsay and then you got her pregnant. That just about killed Nora. And now you're brother has picked up where YOU left off. So I just have ONE question for you Bo? Was it worth it? Was your stupid, macho pride worth what you did to Nora? WAS IT? Because I hold YOU responsible for what she's going through right now. And you want to know why? Because you COULD have stopped it. If you had stopped being such a damn hypocrite and told that woman what she deserved to hear, she NEVER would have agreed to marry your brother and she wouldn't be in a world of pain right now would she?

Bo: What do you want me to say? You're right. I hurt her more then she had a right to be hurt and now she won't speak to me.

Viki: Can you blame her? (Pause) Bo, for god's sake, you could have had her anytime you wanted. That woman loved you more then I have EVER seen a woman love a man. She would have done ANYTHING for you. My God she TRIED EVERYTHING to get you back but you just washed your hands of her… you treated her like the stuff that was stuck to the bottom of you're shoe. And for WHAT? Why couldn't you just say those three little words that she needed to hear…? You obviously had no trouble forgiving a homicidal maniac who almost took her from us. So why Bo? Why was it so hard for you to forgive the ONE person in this world who ever gave a damn about you? Don't you know how LUCKY you were?

Bo: I wish I could answer that. I've been sitting here tonight going over everything that we shared and I can't find a damn good reason why I let her walk out of my life without a fight. You're right Viki… I was lucky. Anyone who is fortunate enough to know her is lucky. But me… I was one of those few people who she allowed to get close enough to love her and I threw it all away.

Viki: Yeah Bo, You did. You expected perfection from her. You expected her to give you what no one can and the minute she failed you walked away. Well let me tell you something Bo? Nora may not be perfect but she is as close as you will EVER get to an angel and you want to know why? Because when she gives you her all, she gives it 110 and when she makes a mistake she's the first to admit it. No Bo… Nora wasn't a model of perfection and she never claimed to be. But she WAS without a doubt, one of the best people I have EVER known. And she deserved so much better then you and you're brother gave her. All you EVER did was break her heart.

Bo: So what are you saying Viki? Are you saying I should just give up?

Viki: What I'm saying is you better make up your damn mind Bo. You run hot and cold too much for a woman like Nora. You say you want her today? Well what about tomorrow? Are you STILL going to want her then? And what if… God forbid, she screws up again? Are you going to cut and run? Because I'm warning you Bo… If you manage to find a way to get her to trust you again, it BETTER be for keeps because I will NOT let you set her up for another fall if you're not planning on giving her everything. If you plan on keeping her on a string then you can forget it. You'll have to go through ME first.

Bo: I wouldn't do that to her. I love her.

Viki: Oh you love her now do you? Where was this love when you were lying to her? Where was this love when you stabbed her in the back with her worst enemy? Where was this love when you cut her out of your life? You'll have to forgive me if I'm a little skeptical Bo. Nora's who I care about in this equation. if you can find a way to make her happy then more power to you. But you BETTER get off your butt and DO something soon because I think you just MIGHT have some competition… and believe me Bo… Nora's in the market for pure happiness. And she just might have found someone who doesn't make her so damn miserable for every little thing she does. You CAN'T have your cake and eat it too. Clock's ticking Bo. You want Nora back? Figure out a way to show her why she should even WANT that after what you did?

She said nothing further as she walked out the door and left Bo alone with his thoughts. He had to admit that he had his work cut out for him. Nora was not only not speaking to him but now she seemed to be moving on without him… and more then that was the fact that she was moving on with someone else and he HATED that. He HATED that in all actuality she was probably in John's arms… and he HATED that if she was, he had no one to blame but himself.

Sighing he picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number he never expected to have to use again.

Bo: I know I'm the last person you EVER expected to hear from but I should have done this a long time ago. If I'm ever going to find a way to win back the woman I love the first thing I have to do is find a way to deal with the demons that put us here.

* * *

Matthew and Cole arrived at the gallery where Clint and Lindsay were now staying. Cole had come for Moral support and Matthew just needed to get a few things off his chest. He had trusted Lindsay and had even taken her side over his own mothers time and time again and now he finds out she's the reason they almost lost her…. He just couldn't stand to think of what that had done to her.

Matthew: I came here tonight because I wanted to tell you that you lost. You're no match for my mom and if you EVER try to use me to hurt her again then you won't get away with it.

Lindsay: Is that what you think I did? Matthew, come on, I loved you.

Matthew: You don't know what love is. If you did then you NEVER would have kept my mom away from me for almost a year… you NEVER would have tried to take her from me. I know that you hate her but what kind of monster would keep a woman and her child apart. You're a mother… don't you understand that kind of bond? Do you even care that I spent months crying for her because I didn't understand why she wasn't there. I just wanted my mom. That's all I wanted. And YOU took her away from me. And then when she came back… I thought she was a ghost. I didn't think she was real and we lost so much time because YOU made sure she didn't remember me. You cost us so much and then you made me believe that you were a decent person. I TRUSTED you. I BELIEVED in you. I even took YOUR side when I should have been taking my mom's. And I will NEVER forgive you for using ME to cause my mom more grief. Stay away from us. You've done enough damage.

He started to walk away when Lindsay tried to stop him. Cole stood in front of him to protect him.

Cole: You know, I don't know what it is you think you're accomplishing by spewing out more lies but it's not going to work. Matthew and I love her and we will always protect her just like she protects us. That's what families do. Not that you'd know the first thing about real love. Real love is about putting someone else ahead of yourself and for you the only person that matters is yourself so how would you know what it means to sacrifice everything? Stay the hell away from her. Stay away from all of us.

After they walked away Clint turned to Lindsay…

Clint: Well, well, well. I guess you can't use Nora's kids anymore can you?

Lindsay: Shut up Clint.

Clint: What's the matter sweetheart? Did I hit a nerve?

Lindsay: I can't believe she told him. After all this time, she decided to tell him NOW? Why?

Clint: Maybe because she was tired of the way you were trying to turn him against her. Looks like you're meal ticket is over.

Lindsay: So I'll have to think of another one. You're it.

* * *

Nora and John were now sitting on the grass with cotton candy. It had now stopped raining and Nora was eying the huge stuffed bear sitting next to them.

Nora: I can't believe you won me that stupid bear. I mean how many times did you try for it?

John: It was worth it just to watch you laugh like that. And hey, I told you I'd win it didn't I?

Nora: Yeah I suppose you did. (Pause) Thank you John. Not just for the stuffed toy and the cotton candy but for all of it. For knowing that this is exactly what I needed. I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time.

John: Can I ask you something Nora?

Nora: You can ask me anything you want. I can't guarantee I'll be able to answer.

John: Fair enough. (Pause) If you could wish for anything right now what would it be?

Nora (Pausing): I think right now I would wish that everyone would stop telling me what it is they think I need. I'm not some delicate china doll you know? I'm not going to crumble. And just because I've had it pretty rough lately doesn't mean I need people walking on eggshells around me.

John: So what DO you need Nora?

Nora: I need… I think all I really need right now is to be happy. I've spent so much of my time crying and being sad and I'm sick of it. I want to be happy. I want to spend more time noticing little things like this and I want to be able to laugh. That's what I want John. That's what I need.

John: Well I think I might have a start to that?

Nora: Oh yeah? Care to share with the class?

John (Laughing slightly): What would you say to going to the policeman's ball with me?

Nora (Pause): A date? You're asking me out on a date?

John: I'm asking you to a ball. I'm asking you to take this card (he hands her his credit card) to go pick out something that will make you feel incredible. And I'm asking you to come with me in any capacity you like.

Nora: Are you serious? You actually want me to use your credit card?

John: I want you to go do something nice for yourself. So yeah, I want you to use my credit card. And if they give you any grief then you tell them to give me a call. So what do you say Nora? Is it a date?

Nora (Pausing): I…Oh hell, what have I got to loose? It's not like I haven't been to these things before. Only the last time I went to this particular shindig, I was with Bo and he was still commissioner.

John: Is that ok with you?

Nora: It will be. I'm YOUR Date this time. So when exactly is this thing?

John: A week…

Nora: A WEEK? You've got to be kidding me? That doesn't give me much time. A woman needs to plan these things you know?

John: Then you should get started…

They both started laughing as he helped her up.

John: You ready to go home.

Nora: Yeah, I think I am. I feel much better now.

She leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips and then looked at him tenderly.

Nora: Thank you for being the one person I can count on.

John: You make it easy Nora. You make it so easy.

And with that they walked away without another word.

TBC


	13. A Safe Harbor Part 13

**A Safe Harbor- Part 13**

Clint turned to face Lindsay with a look of shock on his face. It was bad enough that she had manipulated him into sleeping with her but now she was pregnant and Nora was gone. He didn't really know what it was she thought she could do but he wasn't going to let her get away with it.

Clint: Whatever it is you think you can manipulate me with, you can forget it. You're leverage left the minute Nora walked out that door and out of my life.

Lindsay: Oh please. You expect me to believe you actually gave a damn about her. If you did, you wouldn't have been so easy to manipulate. Get over it Clint. Nora's NOT coming back.

Clint: Don't you think I KNOW That?

Lindsay: Ok, so get over yourself and accept the fact that Nora was WAY too good for you. And believe me you're NOT going hear me say those words EVER again. But you and I both know that Nora's got morals that you and I just don't have. The sooner you get that through you're head the better off you'll be. You and I are exactly alike. Nora's more like your brother then you want to admit.

Clint: Why don't you just get to your point so I can get out of here?

Lindsay: Where are you going to go? Nora kicked you out remember?

Clint: Anywhere is better then being stuck with you. You make me sick.

Lindsay: A Little Late To Be Changing Your Tune Don't You Think?

Before she had a chance to finish, A Delivery Man Walked In With Certified Letters for Them.

Lindsay: I Don't Believe This. She's Seizing My Property.

Clint: Mine Too. Looks like the Gallery and BE Are now the property of the government.

Lindsay: She's not going to get away with this,

Clint: I think she just did. A crime was committed Lindsay. We're being investigated. That means everything under our name is considered tainted. Now we have our entire lives in the hands of the woman we betrayed. Kind of ironic if you ask me? So tell me Lindsay? What do you THINK Nora's going to do?

* * *

Bo was sitting in the airport trying to convince himself that he did the right thing. He knew that he needed to get a handle on his anger and all the demons that held him prisoner but he was beginning to wonder whether calling Nora's sister was the right move. He knew they didn't get along and even after everything that happened he wondered if she would be ok with the fact that he called someone who had hurt her so much. And even more then that was the fact that he couldn't help but wonder whether Susannah would even talk to him? He understood all to well that this was a little unorthodox… but he also remembered how she had helped Viki when no one else could. Years ago, Nora had begged him to talk to someone and he never had. Because of that, things got worse and he ended up loosing his wife. Now he was trying to get her back and the only way he could think of to make that happen was to work on the very things that made Nora stop trusting him because in Bo's mind that was their main problem… trust… or lack there of to be more precise. He didn't get a chance to dwell on it any further when she walked in.

Susannah: Hello Bo.

Bo: Hi Susannah. I hope your flight was well.

Susannah: It was fine. You made sure of that (Pause) you want to tell me why you had me fly all the way down here in the middle of the night? What is it that couldn't wait until tomorrow?

Bo: I need your help.

Susannah: I can see that.

Bo: No, I Mean I Need your Help Help.

Susannah: You actually want to go to counseling?

Bo: I don't WANT to but I NEED to. Years ago your sister begged me to talk to someone but I refused to listen. I thought I could handle things on my own but it turns out I was wrong. I ended up loosing the woman I love.

Susannah: My sister?

Bo: Look, I spent years blaming her for something that was just as much my fault as it was hers. And now she won't speak to me. I didn't call you down here to ask you to talk to her…

Susannah: Good, because it would be a waste of time. My sister and I aren't exactly on speaking terms either.

Bo: I know. But I really think I need to find a way to deal with the reasons I never could forgive her. I need to be the man that Nora fell in love with but in order to do that I need to work on the reasons I STOPPED being that man. I can't just come to her with some pretty words and expect her to forgive me. I need to find a way to get her to trust me. And the only way I can think of to do that is to find a way to trust myself.

Susannah: Well that's a good start Bo. But it's not a guarantee. If Nora's not speaking to you there's probably a good reason.

Bo: Oh there is. But that doesn't mean I'm going to give up on her. Please Susannah… please help me get the woman I love back?

Susannah (Pausing): There are two things that will convince me to do this and they're non negotiable.

Bo: Ok?

Susannah: One… You can't do this for her. You have to do it for yourself. I think it's great that you want to work on the person you've become but I'm not going to help you if it's only to get her back. Not only are there no guarantees but it NEVER works when you don't do it for yourself.

Bo: Ok, I can agree to that.

Susannah: Second of all, this WON'T happen if my sister doesn't agree to it. We may not get along but I WON'T work with her ex husband unless she can accept it. My sisters been through a lot of pain over the years and if I think you're NOT what's best for her then DON'T think I won't rake you over the coals. This has to have Nora's blessing Bo. I haven't been much of a sister. Maybe its time I Started.

* * *

John was trying to have a conversation with Nora as they were driving home but when he got no response, he realized that she had fallen fast asleep in his car. He brushed the stray hair back from her face as he pulled over.

John: You sure had a big day didn't you sweetheart? It's ok. You just sleep. I'll make sure your kids are safe and then I'll take you home. You need to get your rest.

He stepped out of the car as he called Cole.

Cole: hey, I was beginning to get worried. Is Nora ok?

John: She is now. I took her to a carnival.

Cole: Wow, the thought of you on all those rides is kind of foreign to me. You HATE those things.

John: I do NOT Hate them. I just would rather be at some sporting event. Nora, on the other hand, LOVES them. You should have seen her face light up. It was worth it just to see her laugh like that.

Cole: Ok John, I don't mean to be prying here but it sounds like you've got it bad for her. What's going to happen if she decides that she wants something else? Are you going to be ok with that?

John: All I care about is her happiness. She's been through WAY too much pain recently and I just want to keep that smile on her face for a little longer. Is that such a terrible thing?

Cole: No. I think it's sweet. She needs someone in her life that thinks of her like that. So when are you two coming home?

John: That's why I'm calling. She fell asleep. I think I should probably just let her get her rest and bring her back in the morning. Will you take care of Matthew?

Cole: You know I will. Just be careful John.

John: I'm ALWAYS careful.

After he hung up the phone he went back to the car and noticed that she was still asleep. He drove them back to his place and sat in his car for a few minutes. He wondered if Cole could be right. Deciding he would rather not think about what his feelings could be for the woman in his car, he went to get her out with as little movement as possible. She barely even flinched when he carried her inside and tucked her under the covers of his bed. He was about to leave and go sleep on the couch when he realized that he really couldn't leave her alone after the ordeal she had been through. If she woke up, he wanted her to know she wasn't alone. He pulled the desk chair up to the bed and simply watched her sleep. He knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight so he figured he might as well make himself comfortable.

When Nora woke up the next morning he was still watching her. She was a little disoriented but she liked knowing he was there because at least she knew she was safe.

John: Hey gorgeous. How did you sleep?

Nora: Surprisingly well. I don't even remember falling asleep?

John: You were exhausted. You fell asleep on the way home from the carnival. That's why I brought you here. You look well rested Nora.

Nora: I feel well rested. I haven't slept that good in a very long time. (Pause) You, on the other hand, look exhausted. Were you watching me all night John?

John: Guilty. What can I say Nora? You look beautiful when you sleep.

Nora: Oh please tell me I don't have some annoying habit that I don't know I have like snoring or drooling or…

John: Well there was… (He noticed her look) I'm kidding Nora. You just looked so peaceful.

She wiped the sleep out of her eyes as she sat up.

John: I'm sorry Nora, I wasn't going to tell you this but you put other women to shame. How is it that you can look like an angel before you even step in the shower? You're simply breathtaking.

Nora: You need your eyes examined.

John: Nah, I just think you need to see yourself the way I do.

Nora: John…

John: Sorry, too much information right? (Pause) Why don't you go take a shower and I'll make you breakfast?

Nora: You cook?

John: I've been known to throw a few things together. But don't worry; I won't burn down the house.

Nora: Well it couldn't possibly be any worse then me so you're on.

She jumped off the bed and started to walk towards the shower when she turned back.

Nora: John?

John: It's ok Nora. Really, it's ok. I understand.

Nora: I'm sorry. I just… I'm trying.

John: I know you are. So go take a shower and you can try your hand at having breakfast with me.

Nora: I would love that.

After she walked away, he kicked himself for being brutally honest with a woman who just had her heart broken. He looked at the door one more time before heading down stairs to make her breakfast. Nora, on the other hand was still trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

TBC


	14. A Safe Harbor Part 14

**A Safe Harbor- Part 14**

Nora came downstairs wearing his robe and he smiled at her.

John: that looks better on you then it does on me.

Nora: I hope you don't mind. I was hoping you had some old clothes lying around here. I feel a little burned out.

John: Funny you should mention it but I just had Renee drop some clothes by when you were in the shower. I figured you'd want something clean.

Nora: How is it that you always know what I need before I need it? (Pause) That smells wonderful John. I didn't realize how hungry I was.

John: Good because I think I must have made a gourmet meal here. There's enough to feed an army.

They both laughed slightly.

Nora: You made Chocolate pancakes? There's probably know way you knew that they're my favorite is there?

John: Ok I admit. I called Matthew. He told me.

Nora: Remind me to thank him later?

(He smiled at her as she looked around at the rest of the food)

Nora: John, how did you learn to make all of this? I didn't even know you could cook.

John: Neither did I until a few minutes ago. I just followed a recipe.

Nora: You did all this for me?

John: So what if I did? I just wanted you to have something you liked.

Nora (Smiling): You know John; I think that's very sweet. But its unnecessary because what I really like is YOU.

John: I like you too.

Nora: Yeah, I kind of got that.

They both started laughing slightly as they sat down and started to dig in. She smiled at him after she took her first bite.

Nora: This is really good.

He watched her as she ate and he couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness when he was around her. He hadn't been happy in a long time but somehow Nora had brought all of that back and looking at her now made him realize that all he really wanted was to see her as much as possible for as long as she would have him. And if it ended, then he just wanted her to have that same smile on her face that lit up the room the way she was lighting up his life. She looked up from her food and noticed him smiling at her.

Nora: What?

John: You know what I just realized? It's the first time in I don't even know how long, that I can truly say I feel happy. You make me happy Nora.

Nora: You make me happy too. It's been so long since I've even been able to feel anything but sadness but being here with you right now just makes me forget about all the bad things. And I can't even remember the last time I haven't wanted to cry. That has to be a good thing right?

John: I think it's a wonderful thing.

Nora: That was a really good meal John.

She stood up from where she was sitting and he smiled at her.

John: Is that all?

Nora: No.

She walked over to him and took his face in her hands.

Nora: I think I want to kiss you right now.

John: I think I want to kiss you too

Not another word was said as they started to kiss passionately. She wrapped her arms around him as he pulled her closer. That was when the door opened and Susannah walked in.

Susannah: What the hell is going on here?

John: Who are you? And what the hell are you doing barging into my house uninvited? Haven't you heard of the doorbell?

Susannah: Well apparently you were too busy to hear?

Nora: So you thought you would what exactly?

Susannah: Nora…

Nora (To John): I would like you to meet my sister Susannah.

John (Shaking her hand): Nice to meet you… I Guess.

Susannah: You too. Sorry about all the commotion.

Nora: What the hell are you doing here Suze? You've NEVER been a sister before. Why the hell do you care WHAT I'm doing?

* * *

Bo walked through the gates of the cemetery as the wind blew the leaves through the grass. He kneeled down at his grave site and laid the flowers down.

Bo: Hi Drew. I know I'm probably the last person you expected to see today but I had to come. I haven't stopped thinking about you. And for some reason I've been thinking a lot about the way things might have been if you had lived. I know it's pointless to go down that road but the thing is that you're death was the beginning of the end for me and Nora. Things just got so bad so fast and before we knew it, there wasn't a damn thing we could do to save our marriage. I'm not here to rehash all of that Drew. I could stand here and go down every blame game known to man kind but I've done it so many times throughout the years that it really does no good. And I could stand here and ask a million questions about why you're not here but I've never gotten any answers to that either. I'm here because I need to make some sort of sense of everything that happened afterwards. I didn't just loose my wife… I lost my best friend. And the thing is that that was my fault. There were SO many times she tried to have that conversation we should have had years ago… and I wouldn't even speak to her. I guess in a way you could say I'm getting what I deserve because Nora has now cut me out of her life. She's given me exactly what I said I wanted for years but now I can't stand it. I can't stand knowing that she's mad at me and that she won't even talk to me. There's only been one thing in my life that ever terrified me and that's Nora. Loving her scares me to death… living without her scares the hell out of me. And the thing is that I just don't know what to do about her anymore. If there's any way you can, please just give me a sign. I'm so lost without her.

He stood up from where he was standing and felt a cold breeze in his face. He took that as a sign that maybe things weren't so impossible and began to relax a little. He stood there for a few more minutes and was about to walk away when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Bo: Renee? What are you doing here?

Renee: I just went to drop some things off for Nora. I saw your car here so I figured I'd come see how you were.

Bo: She's at John's isn't she?

Renee: Bo, you've got to stop this. Nora isn't yours anymore. If you want her back then you really have to stop acting like she's denying you something that's owed to you. Trust has to be earned you know?

Bo: Do you think she's happy?

Renee: I think she's a lot happier then she was. She's not crying all the time. And she seems like she's getting a lot stronger. You, on the other hand, look like hell.

Bo: I screwed up Renee and I don't know the first thing about how I'm going to fix it. How to you get a woman to trust you when you've done so much to hurt them?

Renee: I can't tell you what you want to hear Bo. You have to find out for yourself. But I can tell you this… if you love someone enough then you'll figure it out.

After Renee left, Bo started to think of everything that happened between them over the years… good and bad… and he realized that things were so much simpler when they were friends. Maybe that was the first step. Maybe he had to find a way to be her friend again.

TBC


	15. A Safe Harbor Part 15

**A Safe Harbor- Part 15**

Nora's anger was not exactly a foreign concept to her sister; neither was her pain. She could still see the emptiness and the tears she struggled to conceal when she had walked out of her life more then 20 years ago. She could still hear the shaking voice when she had tried to convince her not to hate her. What had she done for her sister when she had come begging for forgiveness? What had she done for her when she had come asking for her help? All she had done then was throw her mistakes in her face… she had judged her and she had abandoned her. And years later, had she done anything any different? Of course not. She had simply walked away because it was easier then facing the fact that she had been a failure as a sister. She was the psychiatrist and she knew all the signs but she had ignored all of them and turned her back on the only sister she had. And when she looked behind those eyes, she could see that the same pain and emptiness were being masked behind her anger. And how could she stand here and tell her she loved her when love was something that had only been used as a weapon for too many years. So she stood shell shocked as Nora slammed the door and looked her dead in the eyes.

Nora: I don't know where the hell you get off coming in here like you own the whole damn town. And you haven't been around enough to get to judge me.

Susannah: Nora, believe it or not, that's not why I'm here

Nora: I don't believe a word out of your mouth. Why don't you just say what it is you think you know instead of just insinuating these ridiculous accusations at me? You think I'm a sl!! don't you? I mean isn't that what you're tone of voice and your unspoken messages were REALLY saying?

Susannah: That's NOT what I meant.

Nora: Let me tell you something Suez. You have NO clue what I've been through. I just found out that the man I was supposed to marry was sleeping with my mortal enemy in my own home, in my bedroom. And then I found out he got her pregnant. As if that weren't enough… my son's father was the one who almost married her and he was keeping his brother's secret. Well not THAT one but the one about him lying to me about what kind of man he is. I was having a little meltdown in case you care.

Susannah: Of course I care. You're my sister.

Nora: That NEVER mattered to you before. You had YEARS to come back and be a sister but you NEVER did. So you DON'T have the right to come in here and start throwing accusations at us when you don't know the facts. (Pause) John here is the reason I'm still standing. When I was coming undone, he picked me up off the ground quite literally and he put the broken pieces back together. You want to judge someone? Don't You DARE judge him? You don't have a clue what you're talking about. And you sure as hell don't have a clue what it means to be a friend.

Susannah: You're probably right. But Nora I'm just trying to understand things here.

Nora: The only thing you need to understand is that he makes me happy. I'm not sleeping with him… yet. But if I was it wouldn't make me a bad person. It's not a bad thing to go after something that makes you feel good. And I'm so tired of being judged for wanting to be happy. Why is it that everything I do is wrong? In your eyes, In Bo's eyes, In Clint's eyes… everything I do is considered some terrible sin. And you know what? I'm done feeling guilty for never quite measuring up. It doesn't matter what I do anymore, it will never be enough.

Susannah: If that's how you REALLY feel then I'm sorry. It's the last thing I wanted you to feel. But I guess I can't really blame you. I wasn't around when you needed me.

Nora: No you weren't. You were unreachable. (Pause)Where were you Suez? It's not that hard to pick up the damn phone or send a letter or an email? Or hey, you could have come down here for a visit every once in a while. ANYTHING… anything at all that would have let me know that you even give a damn. I waited for years… YEARS Suez… and you NEVER once made contact. WHY? WHY WAS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO LOVE ME?

Susannah: Oh Nora, It was never about that. I'm just not that good with keeping in touch. It's not an excuse but it's the way things are.

Nora: You're dodging the question again. Why am I not surprised? You never COULD be bothered with the truth.

Susannah: How can I tell you something I don't even understand myself? There were so many times I wanted to call you but I didn't think you'd speak to me.

Nora: So you took the coward's way out?

Susannah: I guess I did. I didn't want to deal with what a lousy sister I was so I stayed away. There's no excuse for that. There's no excuse for all the times I turned my back on you. The only thing I can give you is to say that I'm here now.

Nora: WHO THE HELL CARES? What good is it now? Don't you understand that it's too late? You're standing here now telling me that you want to be my sister and the only thing I can think of is that I don't have a clue who you are. I should be able to sit here and tell someone about my sister but I don't know anything about you. The only thing I know is that you left me. You left me because I made a mistake that cost me everything. I hated myself for that but of course you wouldn't know that because you could only manage to judge me. Would it have killed you to tell me that you loved me and that you would be there for me? Would it have killed you to tell me that I'm not some terrible person… that I'm not stupid because I believed in him? Do you know the things I was putting myself through? You just confirmed all those self hatred ideas that were running around in my head. And it took me YEARS before I could stop believing that I didn't deserve to be happy. That was the life you left in shambles Suez… that was your sister… that was my life.

Susannah: You're right. I have no excuses and no reasons that make sense. I left you. You were my sister. You were my best friend. And then I just cut you out of my life because you made a mistake. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't have anything more then that.

Nora: WHERE WERE YOU WHEN MY LIFE WAS FALLING APART? And more importantly, why the hell didn't you call when you found out I was still alive? I mean didn't you care at all that I survived? I went through hell Susannah… my life was a train wreck for YEARS and then I was IN one literally. I spent nearly a year away from my son and then when the world learned I survived, you never even bothered to pick up the phone and make sure I was all right. What kind of sister does that? What kind of sister spends all this time not speaking to me and then out of the blue shows up and the first words out of her mouth are a flat out judgment? Why do you THINK we didn't get along Suez? You were ALWAYS getting in my face for every little thing I did that wasn't perfect. Well you know what? Screw you… screw anyone who can't accept me for who I am and be proud of me. I'm through trying to be someone I'm not just to make someone love me. You can either accept me or you can go straight to hell.

Nora walked over to the window so she wouldn't see her tears and then John turned to Susannah. He had tried to give them their space but he couldn't stand to see the woman he cared about in this much pain any longer.

John: I think you should leave. You're upsetting her.

Susannah: I'm sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt her more then she's already been hurt... But I came here for a reason and I'm not leaving until I get what I came for.

Nora: That's so typical of you. Only thinking about what you can gain. What the hell do you want? You can't just waltz back into my life after all this time and expect me to forgive you without asking any questions. The wounds cut deep Suez. And the fact is that I just don't trust you. You've never been much of a sister before.

Susannah: I realize that. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here because Bo asked me to help him with his issues and I told him I would only agree if you did.

Nora: he's actually doing what I begged him to all those years ago? Wow, that's a switch.

Susannah: I think he realizes that he can't do this alone. And he wants you to be proud of him someday.

Nora: I've ALWAYS been proud of him. But I hope he's not doing this because of me. I can't promise him I'll ever be able to trust him again. I can't promise him a future. I know that's what he wants but it's not something I can guarantee. He hurt me more then anyone has ever hurt me in my life. And I have never loved anyone as much as I loved him. And he let me down in more ways then I can count. He left a permanent scar on my heart and I'm only now beginning to let go of some of that pain. I want Bo to get the help he needs. He's the father of my son and I'll always love him. But I don't trust him any more then I trust you. And if he's doing this for me you can tell him to forget it. I want him to become the man he was because it's what _he_ wants… Not because he thinks it's what _I_ want.

Susannah: That's what I told him Nora. He still seems determined to get some help for whatever it is that's troubling him.

Nora: Then I won't stand in your way. You helped Viki when no one else could. If you think you can help Bo then I want you to do it. But I also want to warn you that if you're using my ex husband to get to me its not going to work. Helping Bo get his life back is something I've wanted for years because I care about him… but it's not going to cause me to go running back into his arms like nothing ever happened. So if you think that helping him is going to cause me to be so grateful that I'll forget about everything_ you've_ donethen you're sadly mistaken. I don't trust either one of you.

Susannah: I know and I hope that someday you'll be able to see how sorry I am. But I can see that right now it's not going to do much good so I'll leave. I can see that you're in good hands.

Nora (Pausing): You hurt me Suez. You hurt me so deep that I felt like I lost the other half of my soul. And I'm sorry that I wasn't the perfect little image that you thought I was but I wasn't this horrible person you made me out to be either. I screwed up and I paid for my sins. The fact that you're still holding them against me after all this time… the fact that you turned your back on me when I needed you makes me feel like you're still the same person you were when you left. Viki has been more of a sister to me then you EVER have. And you know what? I could sit here and tell you everything about her because I KNOW who she is. You… My flesh and blood… I don't know the first thing about you. And it's going to take a hell of a lot more then just a few well placed apologies for me to let you back in to my life. I'm sorry but that's the way it has to be.

Susannah: I'm sorry you feel that way but I get it. I hope someday things will change. Believe it or not, I just want what's best for you.

Nora: What's best for me is for you to leave me the hell alone and give me time to deal with this. I can't deal with you right now. The wounds are still healing.

Susannah looked at her sister one more time before walking away. John looked at her before he opened the door to let her out.

John: In the future, I would appreciate it if you would knock. If I don't answer it means I'm doing something more important and you can come back later.

Susannah: My sister's lucky to have you.

John: Actually I think_ I'm_ the lucky one. And don't think I won't ALWAYS look out for what's best for her.

Susannah: I'm glad she has someone who will.

After Susannah left, he turned to face Nora, who was smiling at him.

Nora: Something more important huh?

John: Oh Yeah… kissing you is definitely more important then answering the door.

Nora: I think we were in the middle of something before we were interrupted… Care to pick up where we left off?

John: Couldn't pull me away…

When she stepped in closer to him, he tilted her face upward so he could look at her. She smiled when he simply stared at her, letting her know in his own unspoken way that he thought she was perfect just the way she was. And when she reached out for him, he closed his lips over hers as they allowed themselves to get lost in a moment of passion. Everything that happened from this moment on didn't matter for they only wanted now. As she poured herself into the kiss, she didn't even notice that they were moving towards the couch. She was so wrapped up in him.

She had a feeling that this was what it felt like to be wanted by a man above all else. When he laid her down on the couch, she couldn't help but feel like she was the only woman he saw… the only woman he wanted. For too many years she had been with men who treated her more like a piece of property then the woman he adored and right now, in this moment, all she felt was cherished.

As he ran his hands through her hair as he kissed her passionately and tenderly she could feel the robe she was wearing slowly come undone and she knew that they were fast approaching the point of no return. She felt her hands move under his shirt and lift it over his head. She wanted him. In that moment she wanted him as much as he wanted her and it scared the hell out of her. She forced herself to sit up as he encircled her in his arms and kissed her with so much passion that it, caused her to go weak. Finally she turned around and faced him.

Nora: I… I can't do this. Not here. Not now.

John: Is something wrong sweetheart?

Nora: Its not you. Believe me it would be so easy to just give in to my feelings for you right now… and they ARE there John. I'm not trying to give you mixed signals. I just… I don't want to be just the woman you're sleeping with. That's not who I am. I need more. I need us to go out and be a couple first. We haven't even managed to get to our first date yet. And I promised myself I wouldn't do this again. Not this way. If we're going to sleep together then it has to be based on more. I want more. I want to be with you John. I'm not saying that I don't. I'm just saying we need to slow down.

John: I understand perfectly. Things just got out of hand there for a while. I wouldn't want you to do anything you'd end up regretting and believe me I understand that you're not that kind of person. I respect that about you.

Nora: You do?

John: Nora, I'm not going to leave you just because you respect yourself too much to give in. I'm not going to deny that I want you because it would be a lie. I want you more then I've wanted anyone in a very long time. But believe me Nora; I understand why you pulled away. And I'm not going to hold it against you. You have a very clear idea of what you want and you don't bend for anyone. I'm not Clint; I'm not going to guilt you into giving me what I want.

Nora: I… I'm really not used to this John? I'm used to…

John: You're used to the guys turning into jerks. I know. Well guess what Nora? That's not going to happen this time. And you might as well get used to being with someone who absolutely adores you because I've got news for you… if you want to get rid of me; you're going to have to tell me. I'm not bailing on you unless it's what YOU want.

Nora: It's not what I want. You're just going to have to give me time because I don't know the first thing about being with someone who makes me feel so special.

John: I think you're doing great. But I can always help you, you know? (He leaned in and kissed her) Would it be ok if I asked you what you were doing tonight?

Nora (Smiling): Anything in particular you had in mind?

John: Well I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to dinner.

Nora: Tonight I can't. Mathew and Cole and I are having movie night. It's something we do every week. I let them pick out the movie, which sometimes I regret because I always end up watching some horror flick and being scared senseless. (Pause) Hey, why don't you come over and join us?

John: I don't want to interfere with your family time Nora.

Nora: Don't be ridiculous. They'd be glad to have you. So would I.

John: Then I'd love to come.

Nora: Good. You can come by at 7. I'll try not to burn the house down with my cooking.

He gave her a slightly worried look and she started to laugh.

Nora: Just kidding. They don't let me anywhere near the kitchen. The last time I tried to cook, I almost burned the whole place to the ground.

John: well at least you can still laugh about it.

Nora: I have to. They won't let me live it down. (Pause) I have to go get changed and get out of here. I had some documents delivered to Clint and Lindsay and I need to deal with that.

John: Heaven help them.

Nora: Thanks for the vote of confidence. (Pause) I'll see you tonight.

John: Are you sure you're ok?

Nora: I'm fine John. My sister and I don't have the same kind of relationship that you and your brother do but I'm ok with it. I've been living without her for over 20 years and I've survived. I'll survive this too. I always have to.

After she walked away, though he was struck by her last comment, John went to pick up the mess they had made when the doorbell rang. Putting his shirt back on, he went to get the door.

Natalie: You missed a spot?

John: What?

Natalie: Your button is in the wrong place.

John (Pausing): Oh, Thanks.

Natalie: What's going on John? I haven't seen you this flustered in a long time.

John: Natalie, why are you here?

Natalie: I thought I would ask you if you had a date for the ball…I know you don't usually go but…

John: actually I do. And I can't wait to show her off.

Natalie: Really? Anyone I know?

At that moment, Nora came out of the other room.

Nora: John, where did you put my… Oh, Hi Natalie.

Natalie: Well, well, well. I guess I got my answer didn't I? You're sleeping with Nora.

* * *

Bo had just come home from the park and was going through some of the things he was going to get rid of when he heard the doorbell ring. When he opened the door to Susannah, he could see the same Hanen Family anger burning in her eyes that he had seen in Nora so many times before. He could only guess what that meant.

Bo: I take it she told you.

Susannah: Told me WHAT exactly? That you LIED to her again? That you're brother cheated on her? Or that she's involved with someone new?

Bo: All of the above I guess. I Take it things didn't go very well.

Susannah: I just have one question for you and it's a deal breaker.

Bo: Ok?

Susannah: You didn't have me come all the way down here because you think I can break up Nora's new romance did you?

Bo: What exactly did she tell you about him? Is it serious?

Susannah: Serious enough. I walked in on them kissing. And believe me Bo, It was NOT the kind of kissing that friends do. They're either lovers or they're about to be.

Bo: I take it she chewed you up and spit you out more or less?

Susannah: Gee, where ever would you get an idea like that? (Pause) The thing is that every word out of her mouth was true. I wish I could go back and change things but I can't. In Nora's eyes, I turned my back on her just like you did.

Bo: Did she say that?

Susannah: Yep. She's angry as hell. And I can't even say I blame her. Our relationship is practically non existent because of ME. _I_ LEFT her Bo. I walked out on her. I take full responsibility for that. She was my sister and I abandoned her.

Bo: Mind if I ask why?

Susannah: Because I couldn't stop judging her. I knew what had happened between her and RJ and instead of being there for her like I should have, I turned it against her and things just got so far out of hand that I couldn't reach her anymore. I should have tried harder instead of being a coward and staying away. Now she wants nothing to do with me and I've got no one to blame by myself.

Bo: Join the club.

Susannah (Pause) I'll tell you something I DID notice Bo. She's not involved in some relationship that's going to crash and burn. He's a good guy and he really respects her. If you think that getting counseling is going to magically bring her back to you, you're wrong. For the first time in your life, you may actually have a fight on your hands because this isn't some relationship that you can pretend doesn't exist. He's not a psychopath. And believe me; Nora was perfectly aware of what she was doing when she was in his arms. I know you don't want to hear this but she and John were very clear about what they wanted and if I hadn't interrupted who knows what would have happened.

Bo: I didn't realize things had progressed that fast.

Susannah: They looked like they were about to devour each other (Pause) If I were you, I'd work fast. They're headed for a full fledged romance Bo and if you don't get off you're a!! and do something soon, you may just loose her forever.

Bo: Got any bright ideas doc?

Susannah: The only thing I can tell you is that Nora is a very stubborn woman. If you hurt her enough, you're going to have to beg. And probably more then once. If I were you, I'd start getting ready to crawl.

TBC


	16. A safe Harbor Part 16

**A Safe Harbor- Part 16**

Natalie: What is it with you two? Either you're sleeping together or you're not.

John: It's a hell of a lot more then that…

Natalie: So what you're saying is that….

Nora: Oh My God Natalie, what the hell gives you the right to stand here and grill us about what we do in our personal life? What John and I do behind closed doors is none of your damn business.

Natalie: It's going to be EVERYONE'S business if you two keep looking at each other like that.

Nora: What's it to you? Aren't you the one making gaga eyes at Jared, despite everything he did to you're family? I hardly think you have any room to be jealous Natalie.

Natalie: What about you? Didn't you JUST break up with my father? Now you're suddenly fooling around with John. Isn't that a little soon Nora? Couldn't you have at least waited until the bed was cold? Or was this what you wanted all along?

Nora didn't even give her a chance to finish before she walked up to her and slapped her across the face.

Nora: Don't you DARE stand there and pretend to know ANYTHING about my relationship with John… or you're father for that matter. And just because you're the daughter of my best friend, doesn't mean I won't tell you when you're full of crap. (Pause) You want to be able to move on with your life and be with whoever you damn well please but John's not allowed to have any sort of happiness? I mean what did you expect him to do Natalie? Sit on his hands and carry a torch for you for the rest of his life. Do you have ANY idea how selfish that is?

Natalie: That's NOT how it is Nora. I really do want John to be happy.

Nora: But you don't think I'LL make him happy right?

John: You already DO make me happy Nora. I thought we went over this.

Nora: She doesn't seem to get it John. She seems to think I'll hurt you.

Natalie: For Gods Sake Nora… you're getting involved with someone who used to be with two of your so called best friends. How can that be happiness? Isn't that some kind of betrayal?

Nora: YOU BITCH. You have no idea what kind of hell I put myself through because of that. I loved them… both of them. And I would have done anything to bring them back but I can't. One of them is dead and one of them is in a coma. And you know what? I think they'd be happy for us. And I refuse to feel guilty for getting involved with him any longer. There's NOTHING to feel guilty about. We're NOT doing anything wrong. (Pause) When John said we were about more then just sex, he was right. We're a couple now. I'm not going to dignify your jealousy with an answer or let you cheapen what we are to each other so I'm just going to tell you this… KEEP YOU'RE GRUBBY LITTLE PAWS OFF MY MAN

Natalie: YOUR Man? Isn't that a little territorial?

Nora: I don't have a crystal ball Natalie. I have no way of knowing how long things will last… but I DO know that he's with ME now. So you better find a way of dealing with that because I'm not very good at sharing… and there's no way in hell I'm going to share another man with ANYONE. BACK THE HELL OFF or they'll be hell to pay.

Nora walked out of the room and John turned to Natalie.

John: I think you need to leave.

Natalie: You're actually going to take HER side?

John: She's the woman in my life Natalie. I'm sorry if things didn't work out with Jared but you can't come show up at my doorstep and start insulting the woman I care about. You're my friend and you always will be. But Nora's the woman I want to be with. Please just leave her alone.

Natalie (Pausing): You really have it bad for her John. I don't know why you don't just admit that you're falling in love with her.

John: What I feel for her is really not you're concern. She's important to me and I'm NOT going to let you talk trash about her. Now please just leave. I need to go check on the woman I'm crazy about.

After Natalie left, he went upstairs and found Nora in the bedroom rummaging through his things… and she looked like she was upset.

Nora: I have to get out of here John. Where the hell is my purse?

John (Pulling her closer as she was fighting against him): Don't do this. Don't start pulling away now. You want to pull away for something else then we'll discuss it later. But don't pull away because of her.

Nora: I'm scared. Don't you understand how terrifying it is for me to give myself so much? When we were on that couch, part of why I pulled away was because it terrified me to want something so much. The last time I wanted something that much, I got my heart broken. I can't go down that road again John... if you want to be with her then….

He stopped her train of thoughts by pulling her into his arms for a passionate kiss that got deeper and deeper by the minute. When he pulled away and looked at her, she could see what it was he was trying to say, as she struggled to catch her breath.

Nora: WOW!! That was some kiss.

John: I didn't want you to leave without knowing how I feel about you.

Nora: Oh yeah? And how do you feel about me John?

John: I'm crazy about you.

Nora (Pausing) I'm sorry. I'm sorry for acting like a baby.

John: You? Oh come on Nora… you were just expressing your feelings. I'm flattered that you would go to bat for me like that. But just so you know, you're the ONLY woman I want. Don't go getting any crazy ideas in your head ok? I can't wait to take you out.

Nora: And I can't wait for you to TAKE me out.

She smiled as she sat down on the bed. He sat down next to her.

Nora: Can you do me a favor and bring the burgers tonight? It will save me time. I have to go pick up Matthew from his Soccer practice.

John: Anything to make things easier for you. Anything else you need?

Nora: Meet me in the office when you get to work. There's something I want to discuss with you. Until then I have to go.

When she tried to get up, he pulled her into him for another kiss that she deepened when he held her in his arms on the bed. Forcing herself to pull away, she smiled at him as she stood up.

Nora: At this rate, we're never going to make it to our first date.

John: No more suspicions Nora. You're the woman I want. Tell me you believe that?

Nora: I believe that. I believe you. (Pause)And just so you know, I can't wait to see you tonight. I like it when you're around.

When she walked away, John realized that that was probably the closest thing he would get to an admission of her feelings and he liked it. He hadn't been this happy in a long time. He just had to wonder if it was possible if what Natalie said was true. Could he be falling in love with the last woman in the world he knew he SHOULD be? And if he was, what the hell was he going to do about it?

* * *

Bo walked into the police station nearly an hour later and was surprised to find Clint and Lindsay sitting in the interrogation room.

Bo: What the hell are you two doing here?

Nora: I brought them in for questioning. As a matter of fact, it's probably a good thing you're here. I have some questions I need to ask you as well.

Bo: What's this about Nora?

Nora: A crime has been committed Bo. I need to know all the facts so I can proceed with my case.

Bo: Anything in particular you need to know?

Nora: Well for starters, maybe you could tell me what it was you knew about the evidence they used to blackmail a judge into filing a false claim against one of the companies trying to take BE? And then you can tell me whether or not you knew they were planning on eloping?

Bo: WHAT? They're married?

Nora: I take it you didn't know that one either.

Bo: Not a clue.

Nora :( To Clint and Lindsay) if you think I won't find another way to nail you for what you did, you're wrong. And if I find out you're marriage is a legal maneuver then I WILL burry you. There are other witnesses that can confirm you're whereabouts' for the night in question.

Lindsay: Like who?

Nora: Like John McBain?

Bo (Pausing): Can I talk to you for a second?

Nora: Why not? Don't go anywhere.

She followed him into her office and closed the door.

Bo: Nora, I realize you just want justice but you CAN'T call John as a witness. It's going to cause the whole case to be thrown out and you know it.

Nora: Why is that Bo?

Bo: Because the witness is sleeping with the prosecutor. You don't think that's some sort of conflict of interest there counselor?

Just as Nora was about to answer, John walked in the door and looked at them.

John: What's going on here Nora? Why did you want to see me?

Nora: I need you to tell me whether there were any more witnesses to Clint and Lindsay's whereabouts on the night they committed a crime because Bo here seems to think that YOU can't be a witness?

John: Why's that?

Bo: Because you're sleeping together. Do you REALLY think that you're recollection of what happened on the night in question will hold up when everyone finds out you're sleeping with the prosecutor?

John: Ok first of all… We're not sleeping together. We're dating. And second of all, I'm already on the witness list. What do you want me to do? Lie.

Nora: It's ok John. Bo seems to be acting on his jealousy instead of the facts right now. But in this case, he's probably right. If the judge finds out we're an item, this whole case will be thrown out so I have to take you off the witness list. Please tell me there's another witness.

John: Yeah there is but you're not going to like it. I've been trying to keep him out of this because I knew it would hurt you but maybe its time we decided what's more important… the truth or protecting a boy we both love.

Nora: Cole…

John: Yeah, Cole.

TBC


	17. A Safe Harbor Part 17

**A Safe Harbor- Part 17**

Nora could feel the walls closing in on her as she thought about what John had just told her. And thinking about it only made her get more sick. She was a mother before she was anything else and she had sworn to protect her kids no matter what… and that was exactly what she was going to do. No matter what the cost, she would find a way to get justice and protect her kids at the same time.

Bo: Nora… Nora, are you ok?

John: Nora… Nora what is it? Talk to me.

She finally stopped pacing long enough to look at them. She could feel her hands clench up as she tried to calm herself down.

Nora: You have got to me kidding me John? You can't seriously be telling me that the only way I can get justice is by putting that boy on the witness stand. Because I WON'T do it… I won't risk putting him through something that may traumatize him just to get some sort of justice that you and I both know she'll find a way to wiggle out of eventually. She ALWAYS does.

John: Nora…

Nora: No…No it's ok. I'll be fine… Just as soon as I have a little chat with our guests. They're not getting away with this John… not on my watch.

As Nora left the office in a rage, Bo and John turned to each other, knowing full well it was time for that conversation they both dreaded.

Bo: So... So I guess we should discuss this like adults shouldn't we?

John (Pausing): What do you want to know Bo? Nora and I are dating. We haven't slept together if that's what you're getting at…but that's really not you're business anymore anyways. And I'm not going to lie to spare you're feelings. Nora's an incredible woman and you were a damn fool to ever let her walk away.

Bo: Don't I know it.

John: Ok, well, right now, for whatever reason, she has decided that she wants to give US a chance. YOU'RE the one who walked out that door and never looked back. And you're also the one who was constantly siding with her mortal enemy until she finally had enough. There's only so much she can take Bo. And I don't know what you expected her to do when you lied to her again? You know how many times she's been lied to by people that were supposed to put her first… people who she cared about… people she loved… and how many times is she supposed to put up with being lied to about her own life? It's not right. And it's not fair.

Bo: You're right John. It's not fair. And she deserves to be happy. I'm not going to stand here and deny that. I'm also not going to pretend that I don't see what you are to her. I haven't seen her smile like that in a long time so as much as it pains me to say, I get that you make her happy. And I'm glad that she's with someone who's not going to hurt her.

John: Because you're my friend, I'm going to level with you. She makes me happy too. I'm not used to being with a woman like Nora and you know what? It feels good. She makes me see things I never saw before and you know what? Being around her is good for me. She's good for me. (Pause) Look, you're going to find out anyways so I might as well tell you that we're going to the policeman's ball together.

Bo: Wow, that's quite a statement. I guess that means Nora's decided to enjoy life as it comes. And she doesn't care who knows about it. You're a lucky man John. She doesn't do that unless it's someone she really cares about.

John: I care about her too. And I'm not just going to step aside because YOU can't handle it.

Bo: I didn't expect that you would. (Pause) for whatever reason, you're the man in Nora's life right now. And there's only one thing I can do to make things easier for her so I have no choice but to accept that. There's one thing we have in common… we both care about Nora. And I'm not going to do what Natalie did and have a hissy fit because she's moved on. She deserves happiness. We all do.

* * *

Nora walked over to where Clint and Lindsay were seated and stood in front of them, rage burning in her eyes.

Nora: If you two think you're going to get away with this, you've got another thing coming. I know exactly what you did and I'm going to find a way to bring you down.

Lindsay: What's the matter Nora? Did your witness not work out?

Nora: If you think I'm stupid enough to call someone who would blow our whole case then you don't know me at all. I'll find someone who won't have a conflict of interest and then you're going to get what's coming to you… both of you.

Clint: And where exactly does John Mcbain fit in the picture? You're sleeping with him aren't you?

She stepped in closer to him and looked him dead in the eyes.

Nora: I'll tell you one thing Clint… John and I have one thing that WE never did. It's called respect. You NEVER respected me and you sure as hell didn't know how to treat me. He does. You want to know what we are to each other. Fine, I'll tell you. We're a couple. And we may not be sleeping together yet but we sure came close to it. I could give you the details but somehow I don't think you want to know

Clint: like that's ever stopped you before…

Nora: Do you REALLY want to know how it felt to be wrapped in his arms on the couch? Do you want to know how good it felt to be wanted that much? Because honestly Clint, I have no problem telling you all about it. But it's not going to be ANYTHING you want to hear. And just so you know, NOTHING we did was about you. I could care less about you're little marriage here. And when I was kissing him, YOU weren't even on my radar. I am SO done with you. As far as I'm concerned you deserve to be saddled with that bit!!. And you'll have plenty of time to do that because while I go off to see John tonight, you two will be rotting away in a prison cell.

Lindsay: On what charge?

Nora: You should really brush up on your legalities Lindsay. I can hold you for 48 hours without a charge. By that time, there WILL be one.

She turned to the officer as Bo and John walked out of the office.

Nora: Take these two pieces of scum out of my face.

Clint: You're not going to get away with this Nora.

Nora: I just did. And just so you know, I'll take real good care of you're company.

Clint fumed as he and Lindsay were dragged away in handcuffs.

Bo: You own BE now?

Nora: Well I wasn't going to let Asa's legacy go to just anyone? I have contacts in the FBI. Now BE is in the hands of someone Asa trusted. But don't worry Bo. I'm not going to run it into the ground. I'm just going to make sure no more crimes are committed.

Bo: If anyone can do it, you can. (Pause) Do me a favor and give me a call when you get a chance. I have something I want you to have. Something I think you'll appreciate.

Nora: I'll call you then. It may not be for a few days though. I have a lot of work to do before the ball.

Bo: Yeah, I heard about that. I hope you have a good time Nora. You deserve to be happy.

Nora: Thanks Bo. And thanks for stopping me from doing something stupid. I was so consumed with wanting justice, I wasn't thinking clearly.

Bo: Don't mention it. And Nora… try to have some faith. Justice has a way of coming when you least expect it.

After Bo walked away, Nora turned To John and smiled.

Nora: Hey baby.

John: Hey.

She smiled seductively as she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. They backed into the wall as they kissed passionately. Nora knew that the whole police station was watching and she didn't give a damn. She just wanted to be with him. John smiled at her when they finally pulled apart.

Nora: I don't want to hide anymore John. I really don't care what people think. I'm not ashamed of what we are.

John: Oh sweetheart, the last thing I am is ashamed. You want to go out or something?

Nora: That's exactly what I want. I want us to have a REAL date, complete with all the trimmings. I haven't gone out on a real date in too long. I want that. I want it all.

John: Then you'll have it. And when would this little date be happening sweetie?

Nora: Soon. I'm going crazy waiting for that ball so we'll discuss the details tonight. Right now I have to go shopping. I have to go pick something out that's going to knock your socks off. I still have your credit cared remember?

He laughed as she kissed him one more time before she turned to leave. He smiled at her.

John: You're beautiful Nora. I don't care what you're wearing; you're still beautiful to me.

Nora(Pausing): I haven't heard someone call me beautiful in a very long time. I like how it makes me feel. (Pause) I'll see you tonight.

After Nora walked away smiling, John turned to the staff.

John: Go back to work.

And with that he walked away, to try and get some work of his own done, and not having very much success.

TBC


	18. A Safe Harbor Part 18

**A Safe Harbor- Part 18**

Nora started to drive around the parking lot after leaving the police station. She knew she had to go shopping and find something to wear but she was suddenly in a panic about the whole prospect of going out on a date and she didn't know why. Swallowing her fear, she drove to the one person in town she knew would be able to help her… Her Best Friend Viki.

When Viki opened the door to her, she was in the midst of a panic attack and with nothing else to do, she led her inside as she tried to calm herself down.

Viki: What is going on sweetheart?

Nora: I'm not exactly sure. I left the police station because I had to go shopping for a few things and I was perfectly fine when I left. But then suddenly it hit me and I started freaking out. I'm new to this whole dating thing Viki and the prospect of going shopping for something that's going to make me feel out of place is freaking me out. On top of that, I asked John over for dinner tonight and now I'm wondering what the hell I was thinking because I don't have a thing to wear… and then there's our first date. (She runs her fingers through her hair) Was I crazy to ask him to go out with me? Viki, I'm freaking out here. And I don't have a clue what I'm supposed to do.

Viki (taking her hands in hers): First of all, you REALLY need to calm down. It's not as earth shattering as it may appear.

Nora: I feel like a freak. I mean seriously, what kind of person has a panic attack in the middle of the parking lot because she's worried about a date? I must be insane.

Viki: I don't think so. I think you're just having a normal reaction. Most people have similar responses when they're going out with someone they care about for the first time. I wouldn't beat yourself up. Trust me, it gets easier.

Nora: So what do I do in the meantime? At this rate, I'm never going to make it till dinnertime.

Viki: That's what you have me for. (Pause) Nora, are you and John…

Nora: Sleeping Together? No. And quite frankly I'm really getting tired of people assuming we are. I'm guessing you heard from Natalie?

Viki: She was upset. I'm guessing you didn't correct her.

Nora: It was none of her business. And quite frankly the way she was talking to me was kind of hypocritical. She CHOSE Jared. She has no right to hold John back from moving on… whether it's with me or someone else. She can't have it both ways.

Viki: You're right. And that's exactly what I told her. (Pause) Just because she's my daughter doesn't mean I agree with everything she does. And in this case, she owes you an apology. She also needs to know what kind of man her father is.

Nora: Did you tell her?

Viki: I Thought about it. But then I thought that it was all going to come out anyways and I didn't want her ruining your case so I just told her that there were two sides to every story and maybe she was misjudging you.

Nora: Thank you. I just can't afford to have Natalie going off on some hair brained idea that ruins our case. I know she loves her father but he needs to pay. Just as much as Lindsay does. (Pause) So did you know my sister's back in town?

Viki: Uh-oh. You don't sound too happy about that.

Nora: Not exactly. We're not the kind of sister's you would think of as close. As a matter of fact, we've always been in some kind of competition. And now… now she's back because Bo asked her to.

Viki: And that makes you mad doesn't it?

Nora: In a way it does. Because he's the one person who knows what our history is and he did it anyways. On the other hand, I feel bad for being so angry because I want him to get the help he needs. She helped you; maybe she can help him.

Viki: He's going to counseling?

Nora: As surprising as it sounds, yes he is. He's finally doing what I begged him to ten years too late.

Viki: And how does that make you feel?

Nora: A little sad because if he had done what I asked him to all those years ago maybe things wouldn't have gotten so bad. There's always going to be that question in my mind of "What if?" If things had gone down differently, maybe we'd still be together.

Viki: is that what you want?

Nora: I can't be with him right now. I can't because I don't trust him. Our problem was never love. It was everything else. And now… now I just want to be happy. I want to forget about everything that never was and concentrate on what still cold be. It's the only thing I can do Viki. I can't live for the past anymore. I have to live my life for me now.

Viki: I'm so proud of you sweetheart. It takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing. And I think you're doing the best you can with the hand you were dealt. And you know what? If you can manage to find a little happiness along the way then more power to you. You KNOW how I felt about you and Bo but you seem happy with John so maybe you're good for each other. Maybe things will work out and maybe they won't. But I'm really proud of you for taking that leap, no matter how scared you might be.

Nora: Thanks Viki. (They hug)

Viki: Hey. I'm always on your side and I've always got your back. You've been like a sister to me.

Nora: I feel the same way about you.

Viki: Good. Does that mean you're ready to let me help you shop till you drop?

Nora (Laughing slightly): Well when you put it like that…

* * *

Bo was sitting in the dark in the garret trying to come up with a reasonable excuse to see Nora but coming up empty handed. He missed the days when they would be able to talk without tempers flaring and he knew that most of that was his fault. He had broken her trust. And now he wondered what exactly it would take to convince her not to turn away.

He smiled as he thought about the last time they attended the policeman's ball together. The way she fit so perfectly in his arms… the smell of her hair, the touch of her skin. Everything about that night had been perfect…and everything about her always was. Or at least it used to be before he wrecked her faith in everything. Now she was going with someone else… a friend of his… and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop it.

He was just about to turn the lights on and stop wallowing in his misery when he was hit with an epiphany. He knew that it was probably a hair brained idea and maybe he should just forget about it but he was wondering if maybe this was just what he needed to turn things around with Nora. Then again, it could also make things a hell of a lot worse so he was basically hit with the realization that it was a hit or miss that could either end badly or cause Nora to give him a chance to make it up to her. He was hoping for the latter.

He picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number.

Bo: What are you doing in a few days?

Susannah: Bo, what's going on? You sound like you have a plan.

Bo: I do. I'm going to the ball. How would you like to tag along?

Susannah: ARE YOU CRAZY? You are SERIOUSLY Going To Show Up At A Ball You Are Technically not supposed to be at just to ruin my sister's date? She's going to slaughter you Bo. I don't care what your excuse is… you KNOW her. She's already mad enough. If you show up and do ANYTHING to wreck her date… what do you THINK she's going to do?

Bo: Well she's not going to be happy.

Susannah: That's putting it VERY lightly Bo. She's going to be LIVID. And you and I both know that when Nora's anger gets the best of her, it's NEVER a good thing. You're playing a dangerous game here Bo. You REALLY Don't Want To Piss My Sister Off.

Bo: I think it's too late for that. (Pause) Look, I realize that things will probably get a whole lot worse before they get better. But what do you expect me to do? I can't sit around and do nothing Susannah.

Susannah: Why not? You did it for years.

Bo: So did you. Don't you at least want to try to work things out with her?

Susannah: I'm not sure things can be fixed with us. I'm not saying I'm giving up but this is a bad idea Bo. If you crash my sister's date, you're asking for trouble. As a matter of fact, knowing my sister, you're probably walking into the middle of a war zone. And if you bring me… well that's a suicide mission in itself. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW STUPID THIS IS?

Bo: Is That A no?

Susannah: Have you heard anything I just said? This is going to blow up in your face.

Bo: Susannah, I heard you. And you're probably right. But If I have a chance to talk to her…

Susannah: TALK? YOU THINK MY SISTER'S EVEN GOING TO GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY? YOU'RE SETTING OFF A TICKING TIME BOMB BO. AND THIS CAN ONLY END BADLY. SHE'S NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU. SHE MIGHT HIT YOU BUT SHE'S NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU.

Bo: Why don't we just cross that bridge when we get there? Are you coming or not?

Susannah (Pausing): Fine. Someone has to keep you from doing something stupid. But I'm warning you Bo…If you let your jealousy go too far, I'll drag you out of there myself. And you better be prepared for what you'll see when you get there. Especially since, from what I've seen, they can hardly keep their hands off each other. Deal with that or we're not going anywhere near that ball. The last thing I'm letting you do again is humiliate her. You and I have done enough of that to last a lifetime.

* * *

LOGAN'S

Nora and Viki walked into Logan's and immediately started picking things off a rack. Nora began modeling different things but nothing seemed to feel right until she put on the dress she was debating about because she thought it was too sexy. When she walked out of the dressing room, Viki gave her a thumbs up and she smiled. .

Viki: Nora, you look breathtaking. And believe me; you are going to be the belle of the ball in that thing.

Nora: You don't think it's too much?

Viki: I think it's perfect. It's sexy without being over the top. And it's classy without being too conservative. And let me tell you something Nora; No man in their right mind will be able to keep their eyes off of you in that gown. You're going to make every girl jealous and every guy wish that you were with THEM. You're simply beautiful.

Nora (Smiling): Well then I guess it's a keeper. That's exactly what I'm looking for.

They both laughed as Nora walked back into the dressing room to change. When she came out, she handed the dress to the saleslady as they continued to shop.

Viki: Ok, on to the next order of business.

Nora: Hey, why aren't you trying anything on? Aren't you supposed to be going on a date too?

Viki: That would be correct. But this is your day sweetheart. Next time, we'll worry about me.

Nora: That's a promise. And I always keep my promises.

They both laughed as Viki turned to Nora.

Viki: So what kind of look are you going for tonight? If you want sexy then I think I've found the perfect thing for you. If you want something a little more relaxing then this might do the trick.

Nora: I don't know WHAT I want. That's why I brought you along.

Viki(Laughing slightly): So why don't you just tell me about you and John then?

Nora: What do you want to know?

Viki: Well for starters… exactly how serious is it? You said you almost slept with him, so maybe you could start by telling me how bad you wanted him when you did.

Nora: More then anyone since Bo.

Viki: That bad huh? (Smile) If that's the case then you might want To think about what message you want to send? Do you want to give John the impression that you're ready or that you're not?

Nora: Depends on what I'm supposed to be ready for. I want him to know that I'm ready for us to go out and be a real couple. I'm just not ready for us to sleep together. And besides, we haven't technically had a first date and I never sleep with anyone on a first date. No matter how bad I might want to.

They both laughed slightly.

Viki: Then I think you might want to find something a little LESS sexy. If John shows up and finds you wearing something like this… believe me you two will NOT make it to that movie. Hell, you'll be lucky if you make it to dinner.

Nora: Ok, ok, so what would you suggest?

Viki: Something in between these two. As a matter of fact I think this is perfect.

Nora: Are you kidding me? Viki I could never wear something like that.

Viki: Why not? It's sexy but it's not too revealing. I think it's the perfect thing to wear when you're having dinner with your kids and you're trying not to think about how much you want to be with someone. Just try it on ok. If you really don't like it, we'll find something else. Besides, you have John's credit card. You have to buy something for him don't you?

Nora (Laughing slightly): I thought I already did.

They both laughed slightly.

Viki: This is for you then.

After Nora comes out of the dressing room, a little while later, Viki can't keep her eyes off of her.

Viki: Well if you want my advice, I think it's a keeper. You look GORGEOUS Sweetheart.

Nora: I can't believe I'm saying this but I FEEL Gorgeous.

Viki: Then your keeping it. Now we just have one more thing to find.

Nora: What's that?

Viki: How quickly you forget? We've got to find something for your first date. Don't you want to make a Statement? (Pause) Of course you do. Now go get changed and we'll go look for the biggest dress of all because believe me, there is NOTHING like your first date.

After Nora came out of the dressing room, they handed the outfit to the sales lady and Viki led her over to a special place of the store.

Viki: Ok so do you have any idea where you are going to go on you first date?

Nora: No clue. But I want to go somewhere special.

Viki: Then we're in the right place. All of these outfits are made for special occasions.

Nora: I can see that. Any suggestions?

Viki: Well… (She picked up something from the rack) This one seems to cover it all. And since it's pretty sexy in itself, I'm willing to bet that your man is going to be putty in your hands all night long.

Nora: Good. That's the exact effect I want.

They both laughed slightly as Nora walked to the dressing room. When she came out a little later, Viki smiled at her.

Viki: Oh baby, you look INCREDIBLE. That is not only perfect for a first date but it's also a good way to drive a man crazy with desire. If that's the effect you're going for, you've got it in spades.

Nora: I guess I'll just have to take your word for it. I have no clue what I'm even doing.

Viki: Oh believe me sweetie. Dating is like riding a bike. You never really forget how to do it. It will all fall into place when you're alone with him. Just concentrate on that and you'll be fine.

Nora: You really think so?

Viki: Oh I KNOW so.

Nora: Then it looks like we're done.

Viki: Not exactly. Its time for ice cream.

* * *

John was sitting at his desk, trying in vain to get Nora off his mind but having no success. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Giving up the fight, he got up from the desk and started to pace the floors. He was trying to come up with a way to give her the justice she deserved so he decided to focus on that. It was then that he was hit with an idea.

He picked up the phone and asked his secretary to get him a number. Then he punched the numbers in to get the judge on the line. He got his personal machine.

John: look, I don't know if your screening calls but if you are then you can trust me. Clint and Lindsay are behind bars and we need your help to keep them there. If you're worried about your reputation then I'm sure that I could convince the DA to offer you immunity. We just want Clint and Lindsay. We're not interested in making you suffer more then you already have. Believe me; we understand the power of a father's loyalty. Please give me a call when you get this.

He left his cell phone number and hung up. Then he decided to pay Clint and Lindsay a little visit in their cell.

John: Well you could at least TRY to look happy to see me.

Lindsay: What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be shacking up with Nora somewhere?

John: If that's supposed to be a dig then you might want to watch your mouth.

Lindsay: What's the matter John? Can't handle the truth about your new girlfriend?

John: You know what Lindsay? That might be funny if you weren't so pathetic. You wouldn't know the first thing about the truth so don't insult my intelligence by pretending that you give a damn about anyone but yourself. I'd watch your back Clint. Your new wife will turn on you the first chance she gets.

Clint: Like you give a damn.

John: You're right. I don't. You two could eat each other for breakfast and I wouldn't care. But I DO Care About Nora so I'm here to warn you that if you even THINK About Causing problems for her then I'll burry you. I know exactly what you two did and just because I can't testify against you doesn't mean I won't find someone who can. And until I get irrevocable proof of your guilt, I'm going to keep you right here so I can keep an eye on you.

Clint: You can't do that. It's Illegal.

John: Doesn't feel so good does it? (Pause) Trust me Cowboy I have a whole stack of crimes I could arrest you both for and there's not a judge in the world that would question it. But maybe I'll just start with the simple one. Maybe I'll just have you arrested for emotional distress and add on a charge of indecent exposure. You cheated on your fiancé in her own home so there's proof right there. And who do you think the judge would believe huh?

Lindsay: So you're going to lie?

John: who said anything about lying? What do you THINK you did to her? Emotional distress is putting it lightly. And I could add on a charge for involuntary manslaughter since you two killed her baby. Ironic how it turned out to be your own child Clint.

Clint: I didn't even know she was pregnant.

John: And why is that Clint? Because you were in bed with her worst enemy when she tried to tell you. And then she lost the baby because of your cruelty. Yeah, I think that one might get you the most time. And you know what? It really doesn't matter what I charge you for. After the 48 hours have passed, there WILL be a charge.

Lindsay: You're sure jumping through hoops for a woman who is probably in someone else's bed right about now.

John: YOU BETTER SHUT THE HELL UP LINDSAY. This might be a jail cell and you might be a woman but you're certainly not a lady and I would have no problem beating the crap out of you.

Lindsay: You can't tell me you haven't thought about it? It's her track record.

John: This might be a foreign concept to you Lindsay but I trust her. Nora and I don't have the kind of relationship you two do. We have one based on mutual trust and respect. So if she tells me she's going shopping then that's exactly where she is. I don't question her every move and she doesn't question mine. That's what we have.

Lindsay: You're a fool if you believe that she'll ever stay faithful to you.

John: That's almost laughable coming from you. YOU'RE the one who can't seem to keep her body parts out of other people's beds. Lets be real Lindsay. YOU'RE the one who has managed to seduce every single one of Nora's men just to get back at her. Now I Don't Know About You But That Sure Sounds Like A Sl!! To Me?

Lindsay: You have no clue what you're getting yourself into John. Every man she touches ends up worse off then they were before.

John: It's not going to work Lindsay. You might have been able to turn everyone else against her but you're not going to make ME doubt her. You're wasting your time spewing out all this garbage because I will NEVER side with anyone but her. I trust her.

Lindsay: That's a big mistake. She's…

John (Cutting her off): SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH OR I'LL SHUT IT FOR YOU. I've heard enough garbage out of your mouth and I will NOT let either of you stand here and talk trash about the woman I….

Clint: The Woman You WHAT? What Were You Going To Say John? You're In Love with Her Aren't You?

John: Do you honestly think I'm going to tell EITHER of you how I feel about her? It's none of your damn business. And what I do or don't feel for her is between Nora and I and no one else. (Pause) You threw away one hell of a good woman for a psychotic bit!! like Lindsay. And now you can wallow in your misery while _I_ go spend the evening with her. But Don't Worry Clint. I'll Take REAL Good Care Of Her. Better then you EVER did. And As For You (To Lindsay) Don't Worry. Your Gallery Is In Good Hands.

Lindsay: I don't believe it. YOU Own MY Gallery now?

John: Well It HAD To Go to someone in the Legal Profession and since Nora Obtained BE, I Offered to take The Gallery off Her Hands.

Lindsay: But that's like handing it to her on a silver platter…

John: Well I would do anything for her so who knows what we're going to do with it. You should chew on that one for a while Lindsay. Sometimes It Just pays to be on good terms with someone because you NEVER know when they might end up with the upper hand. Right now I'm not too thrilled with you so I just might tear it down… or hey, maybe I'll just turn it into something else. We'll see what Nora wants to do with it.

After He walks away, Lindsay calls after him.

Lindsay: John Wait.

Clint: Now look what you've done.

Lindsay: Me? What about you? Now Nora's going to destroy us both.

Clint and Lindsay: That's YOUR Fault.

* * *

Nora was standing at the mirror a few minutes after Viki left. She was dressed in a pair of barely off white slacks and a sexy red halter top that was loosely covered in sparkles. She had her hair up in a French twist and had managed to stick a small flower in it to give the look a more relaxing touch. She had just finished spraying some perfume on and checking her makeup when Matthew and Cole walked in.

Matthew: WOW, You look Beautiful mom.

Nora: You think so?

Cole: I think you look amazing.

Nora: Thanks guys. I wasn't really sure what to wear but Viki seemed to think this would do the trick.

Matthew: I don't think Uncle John's going to care what you're wearing.

Cole: Smart kid.

They all laughed slightly as she turned around and faced them.

Nora: Are you sure you're ok with this? I know this is our night but…

Matthew: I just want you to be happy. You've been crying for too long mom.

Cole: he's right you know? You deserve to be happy and from the looks of it, he makes you happy.

Nora: Yeah, he does. He makes me laugh and that feels good.

Matthew: Then go with it mom. I like seeing you smile.

Cole: Me too.

When the doorbell rang, Nora started to freak out again so Cole and Matthew gave her a moment to calm down and went to answer it.

Matthew: Hey Uncle John. Did You Bring the Burger's?

John: You Bet. (He Took the Bag from Him) How Was Soccer Practice? You Score Any Goals?

Matthew: Of Course.

John: Good. Maybe sometime you can show me what you've got?

Matthew: I'd like that.

They shared a high five and he turned to Cole.

John: How are things with you these days Cole?

Cole: Pretty Good. . I think a lot of that has to do with Nora.

John: Yeah, she's pretty good at making you better.

Matthew: Wait till you see her. She looks Beautiful.

Just then she comes down the stairs and John can't take his eyes off her.

John: Boy, you weren't kidding.

Cole: Come On Matthew; Let's Go Put These Burgers On The Table.

John Laughed As She Walked Towards Him.

Nora (Smiling): I guess he's trying to play matchmaker huh?

John: I don't think he needs to. There are simply no words to describe how you look.

Nora: I think I like how that sounds.

She looked at him as he handed her some flowers.

Nora: They're Beautiful. But you didn't have to you know? I still have the ones you gave me a couple days ago.

John (Smiling): I'm not really sure what to do Nora. I haven't really dated in a long time.

Nora: I feel the same way. Maybe we can learn together.

John: I think that sounds like a plan.

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck as she looked at him. He smiled.

John: You know, I've been thinking of you all day.

Nora: I've been thinking of you too.

At almost the same moment they leaned in for a passionate kiss.

John: You know Nora; I've never had much of a reason to put down roots. I always had this desire to keep moving when the job was done… or when my reason for staying was no longer there. But you… when you look at me like that… well you give me a reason to want to stick around. I like being around you.

Nora: Good. Because I like it when you're around. (She kisses him again) I know that tonight will probably consist of us not getting a whole lot of alone time. But I appreciate you coming. I really like the way you make me feel.

John: We still need to talk about a certain date sweetheart?

Nora: Oh Yes. I'm probably driving you crazy aren't I?

John: In a good way, yes you are. (He kissed her) Now about that date?

Nora (Smiling): You have a one track mind don't you?

John: When it comes to you, I guess I do.

Nora (Smiling): Then How Does Tomorrow Night Sound?

TBC


	19. A Safe Harbor Part 19

**A Safe Harbor- Part 19**

John looked at Nora as soon as she said the words and he couldn't help but smile in spite of himself.

John: Tomorrow sounds really good.

Nora: Good because it's probably as long as I can wait.

John: Me too.

They both laughed slightly as they walked towards each other.

Nora: I want you to know something John. (Pause) Whatever it is that's going on between us… well it makes me feel something I never thought I'd feel again. I'm not sure I can put it into words except to tell you that when I'm with you, I feel good. And when I hear your voice it makes me feel happy. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've felt any kind of happiness? Since I've felt like I've been accepted by anyone?

John (Taking her hands): I DO accept you Nora. I accept you and I want you… more then I've wanted anyone in a very long time. And you know what? It kills me that it's taken you so long to open your eyes and see yourself for who you really are.

Nora: And who am I John? Who am I?

John: You're a woman who's had far too much experience with emotional abuse. Don't you understand what these men have done to you Nora? They've turned you inside out with self doubt and insecurity. And for so long, you just believed it. You believed it because you didn't have anyone offer you something else. But that ends now sweetie. It ends because to me, you're perfect just the way you are.

Nora: Perfect? The last thing I am is perfect.

John: Good. Because if you were, we wouldn't be standing here would we? (Pause) I don't want perfection Nora. It's boring and it's predictable. And I don't expect you to turn yourself inside out trying to please me because you already do. I don't want you to be anyone but yourself. And I want you to know that you're best self is what I'm looking at right now.

Nora: And my worst self? What if it's something you don't like?

John: Nora, you couldn't possibly have a side that's that ugly. You're worst self is probably taking unnecessary risks and getting yourself in trouble. And even if there's more, I don't care. The important thing is who you are inside and sweetie, I like who you are inside. I want to get to know the real you.

Nora: Then you will… as long as you show me the real you in return. I'm tired of games John. I just want someone who will always tell me the truth.

John: The truth is something I can give you without question. And I'm telling you Nora, there's something I really have to do before we go in there and have an evening with your kids.

Nora: Oh yeah? And what might that be Mr. Mcbain?

John: I Think You Know.

She smiled at him as He grabbed her around the waist and brought her closer to him. Then he captured her mouth in his as they backed up against the wall. Her arms went around his neck as he lifted her in his arms and continued to kiss her. When they finally pulled apart, she simply looked at him.

Nora: I think we better go eat.

John: I think you're going to drive me crazy all night.

Nora: Well I certainly hope so. (She gave him another kiss) And you're going to love it.

John: You're right. I am.

They both laughed as they walked into the kitchen and they all sat down at the table.

Matthew: The food's probably cold by now.

Nora: Well see, that's the joy of a microwave. We just pop these puppies in and there as good as new.

Cole (Whispering): You know John; you might want to try to stop looking at her like that when you have kids in the house.

John: Very funny Cole. Very funny

Cole: Just Saying. Its not like we can't tell how you feel about her. It's written all over your face.

Nora: Well here we go. Now who's ready to eat?

There was a moment of silence as they all dug in. Finally Nora broke the silence.

Nora: Ok would you all stop looking at me like that? If you have a question, would you please just ask it?

Cole: What makes you think we want to ask you anything? I think it's pretty obvious what's going on here?

Matthew: Yeah mom. Why are you so nervous? It's pretty obvious how Uncle John feels about you.

Nora: Oh yeah… and how does he feel about me oh wise one?

Matthew: Why don't you ask him? It's not like its some deep dark secret.

Nora (Pausing): John… is there something you want to tell me?

John: About what exactly?

Nora: Well I don't know. Matthew here seems to think you have some unspoken truths you want to get off your chest. So do you?

John: I… Uh…

Matthew: Come on Uncle John… Just tell her you love her. Everyone already knows that you do except for her.

* * *

Bo was trying to figure out exactly what it was that bothered him about the conversation with him and Susannah. There was something in the way she was talking about her sister. There was something in the sound of her voice that made him think there was more to their estrangement then either of them was letting on. And he also knew that getting any sort of information out of them was like talking to a brick wall. They were both so closed off that they became defensive when anyone brought it up. So he was going to have to find another way. And he was going to have to find one fast.

He was pacing the floors of the room when he finally came up with an idea that he knew was going to get him in a lot of trouble with Nora. But at the same time, how could he help her if he didn't know the score. So he went upstairs and threw on some clean clothes before heading down to see Rex.

Rex: Are you insane. Bo, you are SERIOUSLY playing with fire here.

Bo: DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT? But listen to me for a second. There's something going on between them that neither of them is saying. And trying to talk to them is like talking to a brick wall.

Rex: maybe its better left buried.

Bo: If I thought that then I'd leave it alone. But I think whatever it is could be the reason that Nora's always had so much trouble believing that a guy would love her enough to stick around. Part of that is my fault because that's how I made her feel when I left her in the lurch. But I also don't think she would have found it so easy to believe if something hadn't gone down in her past. And I think it has something to do with her sister.

Rex: So you want me to dig up the dirt on the woman you love?

Bo: Basically.

Rex: Bo, you're an idiot. Do you have ANY idea how mad she's going to be when she finds out you're investigating her? And you KNOW her. She WILL find out. And even if she doesn't, how do you suppose you're going to tell her that you found out?

Bo: I haven't thought that far ahead.

Rex: Well maybe you should. I'm telling you Bo…this is probably one of the stupidest moves that you have EVER made. Investigating the woman you love is NOT the way to her heart. Especially not when she's got another man who's giving her everything she says she wants. What do you suppose is going to happen when she finds out what you're doing? AFTER she rips you a new one, do you really think she's just going to go home and calm down?

Bo: Probably not.

Rex: Ok, so what do you THINK she's going to do? (Pause) That's right Bo. This hair brained idea of yours could very well push her right into John's waiting arms if she hasn't already been pushed there. You sure that's a risk you want to take?

Bo: I don't think she needs much pushing Rex. They're dating. The next logical step is…

Rex: Stop rationalizing it and tell me if you're ok with it.

Bo: I'm not sure I'll EVER be ok with it but it's not like I have much of a choice. If she chooses to be with him, I can't exactly complain. She's not mine anymore.

Rex: But you want her to be right?

Bo: You know I do.

Rex: Then you better be prepared for the fallout Bo. If you do this, she's going to come after you with both barrels. And you and I both know what happens when Nora's temper blows.

Bo: World War II to Say the Least.

Rex: You sure you want to be chasing hurricane Nora because when she comes after you this time, it's NOT going to be pretty.

Bo (Pausing): Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do but I don't have a choice. Nora won't talk to me. And Susannah is just as bad as her sister when it comes to the past. If I wasn't worried about her then I'd leave it alone but this is something that affects a lot of people and I need to know what it is.

Rex: even if it's none of your business.

Bo: Nora's keeping something that affects my son, therefore it IS my business.

Rex: That's a stretch Bo. And You And I Both Know It. You're looking for a way to rationalize this and there isn't one. But if you really want me to do this I will. Just know that once you start this, you can't go back. And what happens if you open a can of worms that's better left buried? Doesn't Nora deserve her privacy Bo? Hasn't she been humiliated enough?

TBC


	20. A Safe Harbor Part 20

**A Safe Harbor- Part 20**

There seemed to be an awkward silence as Nora looked between John and her boys. To say she was surprised would be the understatement of the year but then she hadn't exactly been looking. And even if she had, she's not sure she would have seen it because all her radar had been off lately… she was wrong about Clint, she was wrong about Bo and before that she had been wrong about Sam and Troy and Daniel. All she had known from a man in the last ten years had been lies and betrayal so how would she know how to recognize someone who treated her like a queen? She didn't have a damn clue how she even ended up with him, much less how he could have fallen so quickly but she decided that she really didn't need to know the answers as much as she needed to feel the feelings and that was something she had felt from the start. John Mcbain was not like most of the men she knew. He didn't care about her past or what she had done wrong along the way… he accepted her in spite of her faults, never ONCE lied to her and most of all he supported her unconditionally. And that was why she was with him. That was why she LIKED being with him.

She smiled as she turned to her boys, struggling to find her voice.

Nora: Uh, would you two mind giving us some time to sort this out?

Mathew: What needs to be sorted out mom? He loves you. Can't you see it in the way he looks at you?

Nora: That May Be but Its Still Something That's Between Me and Uncle John.

Matthew: In other words, you want to be alone?

Nora: Smart Kid I Have There.

Cole: You see Matthew, to a girl, hearing those three magic words is just about the most important thing in the world. And they usually don't want an audience when they finally hear them.

Matthew: Fine. But I still don't understand what's so hard about it. You just say it. It's not like she's going to go head for the hills. I mean she OBVIOUSLY likes you a lot or she wouldn't be kissing you so much.

Cole: Ok, on that note, I think we need to get out of here and let the grownups talk.

Matthew: What? Did I say something wrong?

Nora: I think we need to have a little talk about your eavesdropping but we'll forget about it for the moment because this is more important. In the meantime, I don't want to find you listening through the cracks so I think it would be best if you two went upstairs for a while.

Matthew (Shrugging his shoulders): Fine.

She shut the door and, knowing her son, waited a few minutes. Then she opened it and gave Matthew one of the classic Nora looks. He knew he was in trouble when she just stared at him.

Matthew: Ok, ok. I'm going.

Nora laughed as Matthew and Cole walked up the stairs and then she closed the door and returned to John in the kitchen.

Nora (Smiling): So, Mr. Mcbain, how long have you been holding out on me?

John: Nora, I…

Nora: Relax, I was kidding. (She walked over to him and kissed him, and he just held her close as they wrapped their arms around each other) See… that feeling I get when you're holding me like that… when you're looking at me like I'm the only woman in the world that matters…

John: you ARE the only woman in the world that matters… at least to me.

Nora: then that's all that I need. (She took his hands) You have made me so happy in these last few days… happier then I ever thought was possible. And I don't need to hear that you love me to feel wanted and accepted. You make me feel it every day.

John: I think you're probably the first woman I've ever been that didn't try to push me to open up.

Nora: that's because I know you. And what I know is that you'll tell me when you're ready. I trust you John. And everything in between I don't need to know.

John: You're amazing you know that? After everything you've been through, how can you have that much faith in me?

Nora: Don't start coming down on one of the best friends I've ever had. (She gave him a kiss) John, you have had more patience with me then most men would put up with. And you have been there for me without question for longer then I can remember. Why would I have ANY reason to doubt you? You don't have to prove yourself to me any more then _I_ have to prove myself to you. I trust you at your word. If you want to tell me then I'm listening. If not then that's ok. I'm still going to be here. In case you haven't figured it out, you mean an awful lot to me.

John: You mean more to me then you know. (Pause) Would you take a walk with me? There's something I want to show you?

Nora: I would love to. Just let me go tell the boys where we're going and I'll be right back.

She gave him a gentle kiss on the lips and then headed up the stairs like she was flying. He watched her move through the house in that carefree way he hadn't seen in far too long and it was then that he knew that he would do absolutely anything to see her light up like that for as long as humanely possible. He only hoped that what he had to show her would make her happy and not scare her away.

* * *

Bo turned to face Rex as soon as he said the words. He knew that he should probably leave things alone or he'd risk loosing Nora forever but he also knew that if he didn't find out what she's running from, she may end up burying herself in the pain and he couldn't let that happen to her. He had been down that road too many times before and he wasn't about to sit back and watch his ex wife self destruct when she had never once done it to him. He struggled to find his voice as he said the words he may end up regretting for the rest of his life.

Bo: I know what you're getting at Balsom and maybe if I were a better man I could leave this alone. But we're talking about the mother of my son here. We're talking about the woman I have loved for as long as I can remember. I can't just sit back and do nothing if I think she's in some kind of trouble.

Rex: So you're ok with the fact that you may end up making things a hell of a lot worse?

Bo: I know that when Nora finds out exactly what I've done, she's going to consider it a betrayal of the worst kind.

Rex: isn't that exactly what it is? Bo, you're opening a can of worms that may or may not push her right over the edge. What happens if what Nora's running from is something she can't handle? What happens if the reason she's running from it is because her mind is blocking it?

Bo: Are you saying she doesn't remember?

Rex: I'm saying it's a possibility. Are you prepared for what's going to happen if you force her to deal with something she's not ready to deal with? This is a hell of a way to prove to her that you love her. And you know EXACTLY what's going to happen don't you?

Bo: I know I should probably make sure there are no heavy objects in plain site.

Rex: You can really joke about something this serious?

Bo: It's not exactly a joke. Nora's got one hell of a temper. (Pause) Look, just find out what she's running from. If I think she'll be hurt by it, then I won't tell her.

Rex: Are You REALLY That Dense? Bo, that's EXACTLY what got you in trouble in the first place. You don't GET to make decisions about her life without consulting her. Do you remember how many people have done that to her? Where are they now Bo?

Bo: Well they're certainly not a part of her life.

Rex: And that's exactly what I'm talking about. She needs someone she can trust. And considering that she DOES have someone in her life that doesn't lie to her, you would be wise to take that into consideration. If you KEEP making decisions like this, you're going to loose her… and probably forever. Is that REALLY what you want?

Bo: You KNOW that it's not.

Rex: Then cut out the crap. Believe me Bo; I know what its like to be lied to. It's NOT something you want to mess around with. And you're already on shaky ground with that woman. This is a REALLY bad idea Bo. She's not just going to be mad. She's probably going to kick you out of her life. And then she's going to dive head first into a more serious relationship with John. And the more serious things get, the more chance you have of loosing her. I wouldn't risk that if I were you?

Bo: And what would you suggest that I Do?

Rex: Why don't you start with the truth?

Bo: I Tried that. It didn't exactly go over very well.

Rex: So try again. Believe me, if you want her to trust you; don't make the same mistake that made her mad in the first place. And STOP making unilateral decisions that affect her.

Bo: I don't have much of a choice. I'm running out of options here.

Rex: You always have options. (Pause)So what is this really about Bo? Do you REALLY want her back or is this just some misguided attempt at taking her away from a man who really DOES want her? Because if that's the case then you can count me out.

* * *

John led Nora down the stepping stones of a small building she had never seen before. There was a tire swing hanging from the tree and a bench swing on the porch. She looked at him in stunned surprise.

Nora: What exactly are we doing here John?

John: I want you to see where I'm going to live

Nora: You… You bought a house?

John: I saw it one day on the way home from work and I decided to check it out.

Nora: But I don't understand John. You've always lived in apartments. Why did you suddenly decide to buy a house?

John: Why don't we sit down and I'll tell you?

Nora didn't say anything as they sat on the bench. Nora couldn't help but smile as he held her in his arms.

John: I always lived in apartments because I figured it would be easier to pack up if the job took me somewhere else. And then when I put down roots here, I guess I just never got around to it because I never believed that anything I had would last long enough to put my mark on it.

Nora: And now?

John: Now I just want to have a place where everything feels right. I don't know how long things are going to last Nora but for the first time in my life I don't care. I want a place where the kids can come and hang out and we can sit on the porch and drink lemonade on a hot day. Those little slices of life Nora… I know they've never been what I'm about but then again I've never been with someone with two teenage boys and a career that's very demanding. You're teaching me things I never would have given a damn about before.

Nora: So this house…

John: This house is my way of saying that I'm here for you. You and I both know that my apartment is a little too cramped to be spending a romantic evening or a day with the kids. And the mansion is so big that we could pretty much get lost in it.

Nora: Are you asking me to move in with you John?

TBC

**NEXT TIME**

John Finally Tells Nora That He Loves Her

Bo Tells Rex How He Really Feels About Nora

Nora Considers John's Proposition


	21. A Safe Harbor Part 21

**A Safe Harbor- Part 21**

Rex looked at Bo as he tried to get a handle on his emotions but came up empty handed. And he wondered if Bo even KNEW what his feelings were anymore.

Rex: Look, I know you think I don't care about what happens to her because of this history I Have with Lindsay but you couldn't be more wrong. Jen loved her. And from what I can see, Nora's always been on the level with her feelings. Now I'm not saying she hasn't made a few mistakes along the way but who hasn't? Don't you owe it to her to be honest about your OWN feelings? Don't you owe it to BOTH of you to be honest with yourself?

Bo: What is THAT supposed to mean?

Rex: It means that you need to be REALLY sure that you want her back for the right reasons. If you're doing this for ANY reason other then love then it's a BIG mistake. And you have to stop acting like this is something that's OWED to you. … HOW many times did you throw her over for one woman after the other? And when you did, how do you think she felt? Do you think she LIKED watching you choose ANYONE but her?

Bo: That's not what I was doing.

Rex: Maybe not but that's EXACTLY how Nora saw it. And now that she's with a guy that you don't have to rescue her from then maybe its time you thought about how she felt.

Bo: How so?

Rex: Have patience. Nora's had a lot of patience with you Bo. Don't you owe her the same courtesy? Don't You Owe It To Her To Put Yourself in HER Shoes?

Bo: Maybe I do. And If I was really honest with myself then I'd have to admit that what I'm doing is really stupid.

Rex: So you're not going to do it?

Bo: No, I am. I'm sorry Rex. I know you don't agree with it. But I CAN'T let this go. Wanting Nora back has nothing to do with anything but love. I love her. If I was doing this for any other reason then I'd let it go. But I need to know what made Nora so closed off Rex. She puts up walls so high that it takes an army to knock them down. Now how am I supposed to fight that if I don't know what I'm dealing with? Please Rex… Help me find out what she's running from.

Rex (Pause): Fine. But DON'T say I didn't warn you. You and I both know that Nora WILL find out eventually… and when she does, I really wouldn't want to be you when she's through with you.

* * *

John looked at Nora as she tried to register the shock and he wondered how he could explain something to her that he really didn't understand himself. Maybe he would have to start with his feelings.

John: I know that this is probably a little soon for you and I completely understand if you don't want to go down this road yet but Nora I really don't see the point in you staying at the mansion anymore. Didn't you JUST get through telling me that you wanted to make a clean break?

Nora: Well Yeah, I guess I did. That house is really the Buchanan's and even though it's in my name, it's never been my home.

John: Ok, so what about THIS place? Could you at least CONSIDER making this our home?

Nora: I… I'm a little overwhelmed John. We haven't even technically gone out in public yet and here you are asking me to take one of the biggest risks in my life and move in with you. Now I'm not saying I'm completely against that John. I like you. Hell, I like you a lot. And the fact is that we're probably going to be spending the majority of our free time together anyways.

John: But?

Nora: But that doesn't mean it's a good idea to move in together. Isn't that teaching Matthew and Cole the wrong idea? I mean I know I haven't exactly been a poster child for what kids should be doing these days but I don't want to give them the wrong idea either. Matthew's already gotten conflicting ideas from his father. Shouldn't I be the one to give him the right path to take?

John: That's a tough call to make Nora. I know in my head that you're probably right. But at the same time I know that there's only so much we can protect them from. They've both seen far too much already. DON'T you think they already know the difference between what's right and what's wrong? And if it makes you feel any better, we can always talk to them about it together?

Nora: What would we tell them?

John: Maybe we could start with how we feel about each other.

Nora: I don't even know if I could put that into words John. I could try but I always seem to come up with something that doesn't even begin to touch on how I feel about you. (She kisses him).

John: Then how about I just tell you how_ I_ Feel? (Pause) Nora, it's been a long time since I've been down this road. And when I first realized what was happening, it scared the hell out of me. And then I realized that it was probably the best thing that could have happened because it was happening with you. I love you. (He takes her face in his hands) My God Nora, I love you so much. (He kisses her passionately)

Nora (Tears in Her Eyes): Oh God John. I have no idea what to say to that? I NEVER thought that I would EVER hear those words out of ANYONE'S mouth EVER again. And I thought that if I did I would be able to tell them that I love them too. I can't do that John. (She kisses him) What I can do is tell you that I may not be able to tell you that I love you but I can't tell you that I don't either. I have no idea what I'm even feeling but I know that when I'm with you, the intensity of what I feel is so strong that I can't pull myself away from you. And I know that what I feel goes a hell of a lot deeper then friendship. Maybe it's a form of Love. Maybe it's just this intense desire to be with you. I don't know what kind of label I can put on it but I CAN tell you that I will give your offer some serious thought. Believe it or not, I like being with you. I like being with you so much that when I'm NOT with you, I'm thinking about you.

John: I think about you too Nora. Hell, I've even been dreaming about you lately.

Nora (Smiling): Oh Yeah… and what kind of dreams are you having there Mcbain?

John: Well I'd show you but I don't think you're ready for what I have in mind.

Nora: Why don't you let ME be the judge of that?

John (Pausing): Would you like to take a look inside?

Nora: I would love to.

When Nora walked inside, she was immediately drawn to the homey feel of it all. And she was amazed that John could have found the time to fill so much of his house with furniture and gadgets she had never seen before.

Nora: Where did you get all of this stuff John?

John: I had Viki help me with most of it. I wanted it to feel like a place you could see yourself living in and you KNOW how I am with shopping.

Nora: You didn't have to buy all new furniture John.

John: I wanted a fresh start. This is a place that won't have any bad memories Nora. It can be our fresh start if it's what you want.

She threw her arms around him and kissed him.

Nora: Yeah… Yeah, I do want. (She kissed him again as she became giddy with excitement) Ok you sold me. I'll move in with you. But only if you give me a grand tour of the bedroom.

John: Are you saying what I think you're saying?

Nora: What do YOU think?

She smiled at him seductively as she kissed him passionately. She knew that she had sworn to wait until they had gone out on their first date but something about this moment felt right and she didn't want to wait any longer. He pulled away momentarily to look for the answers in her eyes. When he saw the desire staring back at him, he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. She laughed as they tumbled onto the bed. Without any reservations, he took her mouth in his as he slowly removed her shirt. She looked at him as they kissed and she felt the desire burning in her as she removed his shirt. She ran her hands over his chest and began to trail kisses up and down his body. Finally he turned her around as he slid her pants off and threw them in the pile that was fast accumulating on the floor. Then he kissed her passionately and deeply.

John: If you want me to stop, you're REALLY going to have to tell me now? If this goes on much longer, I WON'T be able to.

She responded by pulling him into a passionate kiss as she slowly moved her hands towards his pants and pulled them off. Then she threw them in the pile. She looked up at him as the desire in both their eyes was showing. He didn't have to ask her if she was sure because she showed him in the way she was seducing him. When she was wrapped in his arms, he started to kiss the back of her neck as he slowly unfastened her bra and the intensity of his kisses was driving her crazy. He looked at her one more time as he brushed the hair from her face.

John: You're Beautiful. So incredibly beautiful. And I love you so much.

Nora: I want you so much John. Make love to me?

Nothing more was said before he turned her in his arms and kissed her passionately. They were just about to cross over that line as they got tangled in the sheets when there was an annoying racket at the door. Nora could tell who it was by the screaming.

Nora: How the hell does HE know where we are?

John: I have no idea. We could ignore him. (He kisses her passionately and they fall back on the bed. The kissing got deeper and deeper as they stayed locked in each other's arms. But the racket got louder and louder. )

Nora: You know, as tempting as this is, he's not going to go away. And I don't want our first time to be rushed. And I CERTAINLY don't Want HIM being a part of it.

John: Oh don't you worry about that. (He kisses her) I'm going to take my sweet time loving you. And believe me, it WILL happen. Sooner rather then later. (He kisses her) Don't you dare go anywhere beautiful?

Nora: I'm not going ANYWHERE until you finish making love to me.

John: That's a promise I intend to keep. Even if I have to take you out of town for a few days. And believe me Nora; When that happens... NO ONE is going to be a part of it but you and me.

She laughed as she "helped" him put his clothes back on. And then she teased him with gentle kisses.

John: Nora, you're making this VERY difficult to get the door.

Nora: Good. I want a little more of you. And he can wait.

John: You can have as much of me as you want as soon as I get rid of whoever's at the door. I don't want that racket interfering with our moment.

Nora: Deal. (She kisses him passionately)

After he walked away, Nora smiled as she looked at the disarray of the bedroom and what had almost happened in that bed. She couldn't really say what it was that made her so consumed with desire but she no longer cared what was right or wrong, she just wanted to be with him and remember what it felt like to be loved.

John: Bo? How did you…

Bo: Matthew told me you went for a walk. I Kind of figured it out when I saw the lights on in this place. (Pause) Uh, Can I talk to Nora for a second?

John: That's Up to her.

Bo couldn't help but notice the disarray of Nora's clothes when she walked out. And he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked in the light. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she was MORE then just a LITTLE upset.

Nora(Angry): This REALLY better be good Bo. In case you haven't figured it out, we're busy.

Bo: So I Gather. But don't worry this won't take long. I just have a few things I need to say to you.

Nora (Pausing as she turns to John): Would you mind giving us a few minutes alone? I think I need to deal with this before it gets any worse.

John: I'll be in the bedroom if you need me. (He kissed her gently as he left) DON'T upset her Bo. You've hurt her enough.

After John Walked Away, Nora gave Bo an annoyed look.

Bo: WHAT?

Nora (Angry): Don't you DARE give me that look? You know EXACTLY what you did and I'm SO mad that I could just scream. Why can't you EVER let me JUST be happy? It's NOT like I came barging in your apartment every time you and one of your little girlfriends were in bed together? Can't you give me the same courtesy? Can't you EVER leave me alone?

Bo (Pausing): Is that where you were? We're you in bed with John?

Nora: It's none of your damn business WHERE I Was. You CAN'T Keep Walking In And Out Of My Life Whenever You Feel Like It. And you CAN'T stand there and dictate who I sleep with. I'm NOT your wife anymore.

Bo(Pausing): Why are you so mad? If you want to be with John, what's stopping you? You never listen to anyone anyways.

Nora: For Gods sakes Bo… You don't even KNOW what you're doing do you? (Pause) WHAT gives you the right to stand there and come down on me for moving on? YOU'RE the one who left. And HOW many times did I walk in on you and you're CURRENT flavor of the month in bed together? Now you want me to WHAT? Sit on my hands and NOT give in to something I want just because YOU can't handle it? You HAD your chance Bo. You BLEW it EVERY time. (Pause) Do You REALLY Need to know what I was doing when you came barging in here like the place was on fire because I REALLY don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out that I was making love to John.

Bo: So you DID sleep with him?

Nora: Thanks to you, we DIDN'T get to finish what we started. Not that it's ANY of your business. (Pause) Damn it Bo. Why do you have to KEEP ruining my life? This is the SECOND time we've been interrupted because of something YOU'VE done. First you bring Susannah to town and have me so upset that I can't even trust what I feel. And now this… I don't know where the hell you get off barging into MY house and…

Bo (Cutting her off): wait a minute… This is your house now? You're moving in with John? Nora, don't you think you're moving a little fast?

Nora: Oh, this coming from the man who rushed into a marriage with a psychopath faster then he changes his suits. (Pause) for your information, things are going at JUST the right pace for me. And you CAN'T make me feel guilty for grabbing on to happiness because I haven't had ANY kind of peace in a VERY long time. I'm NOT going to apologize for being with someone who gives me EVERYTHING that YOU refused to for longer then I can remember?

Bo (Pausing): Well then I guess there's only one thing I can ask you isn't there?

Nora: What's that?

Bo: Are you in love with him?

TBC

**NEXT TIME**

Nora Lays Into Bo

Bo tells Nora that he loves her but she dosn't believe him

Nora asks John to stay with her tonight


	22. A Safe Harbor Part 22

**A Safe Harbor- Part 22**

Nora could feel her anger crashing to the surface as she looked at her ex husband. For years she had simply LET him treat her however he wanted because she felt like she deserved it. She had spent YEARS paying for a mistake she couldn't take back. She had spent MONTHS trying to figure out how to live her live her life without him and even longer trying to get him back. But now… now when she stood face to face with him in what would soon be her new home… she realized she was done with ALL of that. She wasn't going to turn herself inside out trying to please him and she wasn't going to apologize one more time. She was too damn tired of it all.

Nora: You know what Bo? For YEARS I asked you to stay in the damn room and talk to me? For YEARS I asked you how YOU felt. And what did you do? You couldn't get away from me fast enough. Now you suddenly want to know how _I_ feel. Why? Why the hell do you even care? You NEVER did before.

Bo: I can see why you might think that…

Nora: AND WHY WOULDN'T I WHEN IT'S TRUE? EVERY DAMN TIME I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU, YOU FOUND SOMETHING ELSE THAT WAS MORE IMPORTANT THEN ME. YOU WOULDN'T EVEN LISTEN TO ME. AND WHEN, GOD FORBID, YOU WERE FORCED TO, YOU ACCUSED ME OF BEING NOTHING BUT A LIAR. YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME ANYMORE. AND WHEN YOU DO, IT'S NOT WITH ANY KIND OF WARMTH. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU BO? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MAN I USED TO KNOW?

Bo: I wish I could answer that Nora. But the truth is that I have no clue. I feel like I've been living in a fog for years. And the last time I remember being sure of anything is when YOU were in my life.

Nora: Well you SHOULD have thought about that before you threw us away like yesterday's garbage. Before you COMPLETELY washed your hands of ME like I meant nothing at all to you. And DON'T stand there all stoic and tell me you forgot that you COULD have had me back whenever you wanted if you had just bothered to take that risk and actually ASK me. How many times did I beg you to tell me what I could do to make it up to you? And even after that… years later…. I asked you point blank why you were NEVER happy with the men I chose to be with. I gave you EVERY opportunity to come clean with me about your feelings and you ALWAYS took the coward way out. So tell me something Bo? Why should I believe you now? Why should I believe that after ten years, you suddenly choose NOW to come back into my life? Why should I believe ANYTHING out of your mouth?

Bo: I wish I had a more scientific answer for you. I know that I SHOULD have some intelligent reason that you can't dispute on why you should give us another chance. I know that I SHOULD have a reason you should trust me. But Nora, the only reason I've got is that I love you.

Nora: YOU LOVE ME? YOU LOVE ME? Oh that's just great. If this is your idea of love I want no part of it. I've spent SO much of my life loving you... and trusting you just about killed me because it gave you the power to hurt me. I can't make that mistake again. I refuse to give you the power to break me. (Pause) You say you LOVE me…Is that why you found it so EASY to walk away from me? And I'm NOT just talking about how you washed your hands of me like I meant nothing at all to you. I'm talking about before that… when you left me alone to go get on that damn boat and made me believe you were NEVER coming back. Do you have ANY idea what that did to me? To think that you would rather kill yourself then stay here with me and be my husband. (She put up her hands to stop him from talking) DON'T start with that Bo. I KNOW you lost your son. I KNOW you were a wreck. But for Gods sake… I was your wife. You certainly could have TRIED to let me be there for you. But then again… I guess that would have messed up your plans of letting the last person who SHOULD have been ANYWHERE near you help you through it. Was that what it was about Bo? Did you just want someone who WASN'T your wife?

Bo: I can't believe you could actually think that. I loved you. I still do.

Nora: But you wouldn't confide in me. You wouldn't let me see you hurt. And why is that Bo? Did you think I wouldn't understand? Did you think that because Drew and I had our issues, I wouldn't miss him? Did it EVER occur to you that I was in pain too? Did it EVER occur to you that MAYBE we could have been helping each other? Because I got news for you Bo… I miss him too. You're NOT the ONLY one who lost him. Did you know that I go to his grave every year on the anniversary of his death and I leave him flowers? The same kind of flowers that were there when they laid him in the ground. And sometimes I even talk to him because I have no idea what else I'm supposed to do about YOU. But you wouldn't know that would you? You wouldn't know it because you are SO busy trying to blame me for EVERY damn thing that goes wrong in your life.

Bo: I'm sorry Nora. I know things haven't exactly been easy between us lately.

Nora: EASY? EASY? Now that's an understatement. You treat me like crap. And you know what Bo? I'm done. I am SO done with your abuse. I'm NOT going to be your little punching bag any longer. If you want to have ANY kind of relationship with me, you're going to have to learn to respect me. Because I swear to God, if you even THINK of coming into MY house and talking trash about me or the people I care about, I will hit you in places you don't even want to think about.

Bo: So you're NOT in love with him?

Nora: You know what Bo? I am Sick and tired of having to justify myself to YOU. You're my EX Husband. You're NOT my damn keeper. And that means you DON'T get to choose who I can and can not see. I can make up my own damn mind who I want to be with.

Bo: Didn't exactly answer my question did it?

Nora: You're NOT going to get one. And NOT because I think that ANYTHING we feel for each other is wrong but because what we DO feel is something I want to keep all to myself for a little while longer. I'm NOT going to give you the power to hurt us.

Bo: Do you think that I would?

Nora: I know that you have a tendency to use what I say to your own advantage. And I'm sick and tired of having to pay for YOUR mistakes. It's NOT my fault that you find it necessary to get involved with psychopaths. And it's CERTAINLY not my fault that you can't seem to be alone for one stinking night. I'm sorry you got hurt but I WON'T let you use me to help you make it through the night.

Bo: Wait a minute… you think that's what this is?

Nora: I think that's EXACTLY what it is. I sure as hell don't believe you LOVE me if that's what you're asking. And even if I did, it doesn't matter. I'm NOT going to go flying back into your arms like nothing ever happened. It doesn't work like that Bo. It's going to take a hell of a lot more then just a few pretty words to get me to forget.

Bo: Oh yeah… and what about this…

Bo didn't say anything as he pulled her into his arms for a gentle but passionate kiss. She pushed him away momentarily and slapped him.

Nora: DON'T try that again or I swear to God, you WON'T like the results. You CAN'T just touch me whenever you want. We're divorced. And last time I checked we WEREN'T anywhere NEAR a reunion. So you BETTER get used to it cowboy. YOU made your bed. Now you can lie in it.

Bo: Are you honestly going to stand there and tell me that you didn't feel anything?

Nora: Oh my God… you are so… you are such a man. If you're ego was any bigger I think you might keel over. (Pause)_You Think I can't Forget you? _For your information, I am PERFECTLY fine without you. And despite what you might think, you are NOT going to get me to cheat on John. He's been NOTHING but good to me… and I… I love him. No, it might not be the same kind of love that I once had for you but it's still there. And I WON'T let you come barging into my life like you have a right to. In case you haven't figured it out, my heart does NOT have swinging doors. You CAN'T walk in and out of my life whenever you feel like it. And I WON'T let you ruin my chance at being happy just because you can't stand to be alone. (Pause) You asked me once if I still loved you… well I'm not going to deny that I do. Of course I love you. A part of me always will. But I DON'T want the kind of love you give me anymore. I DON'T want to be with someone who would do the things that you have done to me over the years. (Another pause) I can FINALLY stand to look at myself and NOT hate who I am. That's because of John. I'm not going back to a life where I'm CONSTANTLY judged for my mistakes. I've told you for the LAST time that I'm sorry. I'm NOT making any more apologies for something I can't take back... And It's NEVER Good enough for you Anyways. NOTHING I Do Is EVER Good enough for you. You can either forgive me and move on or you can hold this ridiculous grudge for the rest of your life. I just don't give a damn anymore.

Bo: Can you REALLY be that indifferent? Can you REALLY stand there and tell me that you DON'T think about us? That you DON'T wish things were different?

Nora (pausing): There was a time when I would have given ANYTHING for you to want me back. I would have traveled halfway around the world if you had asked Bo. ANYTHING. I would have turned myself into anyone you wanted if you would just stay with me. But you NEVER asked. And you NEVER even bothered to notice how much you were hurting ME. It was ALWAYS about YOU'RE pain and How much YOU were suffering. Well you know what Bo? It wasn't ALL my fault. I get that now. YOU checked out emotionally. YOU pushed me away. And YOU were willing to leave what I considered a pretty good marriage to go be with your dead son. YOU chose your son over ME time and time again. I was NEVER first with you and you know what I FINALLY realized. I don't want to be ANYTHING but first. If you CAN'T stand there and tell me that you'll ALWAYS do that then I can't take a chance on something that just MIGHT be. How do I know you won't cut and run the first time I screw up again? How Do I know you won't believe Lindsay or some other tramp like her if the opportunity presents itself? You've lost that faith in me Bo. I've known it for a while and I refuse to be with a man who doesn't trust me any more then I'll EVER be with a man that_ I_ don't trust.

Bo: I really hate that you have such little faith in me. But I guess I can't really blame you. I know that I've given you EVERY reason to doubt me over the years. And I'm sorry Nora. I'm sorry because I'm sure as hell not giving up without a fight. You wanted that once. Sooner or later, you're going to want it again.

Nora: What I want right now is to set some boundaries.

Bo: What did you have in mind?

Nora: In case you haven't figured it out, I have a life that doesn't revolve around you. And I'm involved in a relationship that makes me happy. I'm NOT going to have you barging into my house at all hours of the day. And you CAN'T expect me to just drop everything in my life just because you happen to be in the neighborhood. If you want to see Matthew then you make good and damn sure that I know about it ahead of time. And DON'T go through him. I am sick and tired of having to rearrange my schedule to accommodate YOU. You either tell me you're coming ahead of time or you don't come at all.

Bo: So that's it then? We're just going to be some business arrangement now?

Nora: If that's how you want to look at it then it's up to you. I'm NOT going to make the same mistakes I made with everyone else. I've changed. I'm not the same woman I was when we were together. And the truth is that I'm just not sure if I can EVER forgive you for taking up with my mortal enemy AGAIN. You almost broke me Bo. You had me so low that I didn't even know if I could EVER be ok again. It's only since John's been in my life that I've been able to find my way back. I'm stronger now. I'm strong enough to say that I'm choosing ME first. Please just go. We have nothing left to say. And I have nothing left to fight with. I need you to let me be happy.

Bo: If it's what you want then I'll go. But don't think I won't be back. This isn't over Nora. Not by a long shot.

As soon as he was out the door, she found herself trying to compose herself and failing the test. When John came back in the room, he took her in his arms when she cried. A moment later she pulled herself together and Bo watched as they kissed… and then he watched as John made Nora laugh by lifting her up off the ground and carrying her into what he imagined was their bedroom. And as much as it pained him to admit, he knew that Nora and John were probably only moments away from giving in to it all…and he guessed that it must have been how SHE felt time and time again and as he struggled with those images in his head, he finally drove away.

John laid Nora down on the bed and she looked up and saw the candles burning.

Nora: You found candles?

John: Well there wasn't much else I could do in here. (Pause) I did call the kids to let them know not to worry. They were playing a video game when I called so we've got plenty of time.

Nora (Pause) Thanks John.

There was a brief moment when their eyes stayed locked on each other. And then they started kissing passionately. John pulled her closer until she was wrapped in his arms and she made a desperate attempt to pull his shirt off as he kissed her passionately. It was then that she suddenly stopped and looked at him.

Nora: Wait… wait, there's something I have to tell you before this goes any further.

John: Uh oh. That doesn't sound very good.

Nora (Kissing him): I don't want to be the type of person who withholds things from the man in her life. I've had too many people do that to me and I want you to be able to trust me. That's why I'm going to tell you that… That Bo kissed me.

John (Pause): I take it that it wasn't a kiss between friends?

Nora: No… No it wasn't. And for a moment I allowed things to go further then they should have. But it was just a moment John. I'm not the same girl Bo left. I'm stronger. And I don't want to be the kind of person who falls apart every time something bad happens. I'm asking you to trust me when I say that I want this relationship to work. And I'm asking you to believe me when I tell you that I'm not going to cheat on you.

John (Pause): The fact that you told me shows me that I CAN trust you. If you had chosen to keep this from me then I would have wondered if there was more to it. But Nora you… you trusted me with the truth. And that's something I don't think you would have done in the past. And it's CERTAINLY not something you would have done if you were holding something back. So (He kisses her) I trust you. I trust you at your word.

Things started to heat up between them as the kissing got deeper and deeper. But Nora found herself pulling away again as she looked up at him with desire in her eyes.

Nora: There's one more thing.

John: Ok?

Nora: I love you. Now I can't say that it's the same kind of love that I once had for Bo because I'd be lying if I said that. But I do know that my feelings for you are real. And I would like to see where they go.

John: I think we're both in agreement with that.

Nora (Kissing him): Ok then I'm going to ask you to be a little more patient with me. I want to be with you John. That's not in question. I just don't want our first time to be interrupted or overshadowed because I'm angry with Bo. And right now I'm so angry that I can't even see straight.

John: You really have come full circle Sweetie. There was a time when you never would have admitted what you just did. (He kisses her) and it's one of the many things I love about you.

Nora: So you're not mad at me?

John: I could never be mad at you for following your heart. (He kisses her) I guess we should get out of here before the window of opportunity passes.

Nora: I think that would be a good idea. (She kisses him) don't worry John. I won't make you wait long. I want to be with you more then you know. I just want it to be when we're not thinking about anything else.

John: Believe me Nora; when we finally DO manage to be together, the only thing that's going to be on our minds is each other. ( He kisses her)

She smiles as he blows out the candles and they walk out the door hand in hand. When they return to the mansion, Matthew and Cole said they were just getting ready to start the movie without them. Nora laughs as she goes to get the popcorn. When the scary part comes, Nora tries her best not to cringe when Matthew explains to John how his mom is sort of a wuss when it horror movies. Nora looks at him with the classic Nora look.

Matthew: What? It's true isn't it?

Nora: Ok buddy. Just because I don't like seeing people getting cut up with a butcher knife….

John: Well you could always come over here you know? There's plenty of room.

Nora: Oh what are you going to do? Scare off the boogie man?

John: If I have to.

She laughed as she looked at him.

Nora: I'm going to hold you to your word you know.

John: I hope you do.

She smiled as she walked towards him and took his hand where he pulled her onto his lap and they shared a gentle kiss before turning to watch the movie. John just covered her eyes whenever the scary parts came up as the guys seemed glued to the set. After the movie was over, Nora told the boys to go get ready for bed and she stood at the door with John.

Nora: So, are we going to tell the boys tonight?

John: I think maybe we should make a day of it. It might make things easier to understand.

Nora: I think you're probably right. (She kisses him)

John: I should probably go so you can go say goodnight to the boys

Nora (Pause): I don't want you to go John. Would you just hold me tonight?

John: Now that is probably the best offer I've had all night… (She just looks at him) well ALMOST.

Nora (Kissing him): That's better.

After Nora and John said good night to the boys, Nora disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for bed. And when she came out of the bathroom, looking more then a little sexy, it took everything he had to just hold her. He kissed her one last time before she fell asleep in his arms. John just watched her sleep before finally nodding off himself.

TBC


	23. A Safe Harbor Part 23

**A Safe Harbor- Part 23**

Nora awoke to a single rose on her pillow and a note lying beside it. She smiled when she read the words.

_You look like an angel when you sleep. And when I'm holding you in my arms, there is no place I'd rather be. I can't wait to see you tonight. I love you. _

_John. _

She put down the note and brought the flower to her nose. She smiled when she smelled the aroma of the rose and put it with the others in the vase on her desk.

Walking to the bathroom, she was basking in the thought of her first official date with John when she got hit with a wave of nausea_. _Putting her head over the toilet she proceeded to puke her guts out when Matthew and Cole came in.

Matthew: Are you sick?

Nora: Looks that way.

Cole: Well is there anything we can get you before we go to school?

She tried to get up from the floor and almost passed out. Cole and Matthew put her to bed and she tried to close her eyes.

Matthew: don't over- do it mom.

Cole: Just try to get some sleep ok?

Nora: I will. And thanks guys.

They nodded their heads and took off. She tried to move to pick up the phone but she didn't have the energy and ended up falling asleep for a good couple of hours. That was when she heard the knock at the door. With barely any energy, she managed to make her way to answer it and was surprised to see John standing there with a grocery bag.

Nora: What… what are you doing here John?

John: Cole called and said you weren't feeling good. I wanted to make sure you were ok.

Nora: What's in the bag?

John: just a few things I thought you could use. Mind if I come in?

She didn't say anything as he walked into the house and put the bag on the table.

Nora: Oh God…God, I think I'm going to be sick.

She ran from the room and John found her in the bathroom throwing up. He took a cold washcloth and put it on the back of her neck. She turned around and faced him.

John: Does that feel better?

Nora: A little.

John: Good. (He looked at her) Tell me the truth Nora. You're not pregnant are you?

Nora (Pause): Clint and I weren't together for a long time John… not in that way. I just lost the baby a little while ago and he was barely touching me for so long that I can't even remember the last time we slept together. And I haven't been with anyone else since then. There's _no way _I could be pregnant.

John: So it's just the flu then?

Nora: It must be. There's an awful bug going around this time of year. I guess it was just my turn to catch it.

John: Well it doesn't surprise me. You're under a lot of stress right now and _that_ weakens your immune system. Why don't you let me help you to the bed so you can get some sleep?

Nora: You're so good to me. Why are you so good to me?

John: That's an easy one. I love you.

She just looked at him and smiled as he helped her into the bed and pulled the covers back over her. He kissed her forehead and then looked at her.

John: Would you at least TRY to get some sleep? You're not doing yourself any good run down.

Nora: I'll try. And John…

John: Yeah?

Nora: Thanks… Thanks for taking care of me. I'm TERRIBLE at being sick.

John: Yeah I noticed. (He looks at her and smiles) get some sleep will you?

A few hours later, Nora wandered down the stairs to find John sitting in front of the TV.

Nora: What are you still doing here? I thought you would have been long gone?

John: Are you _kidding_ me? I'm not just going to leave you alone when you're sick. I'm worried about you, you know?

Nora smiled at him as she looked at the stove.

Nora: Since when did you know how to cook?

John: It's the_ only_ recipe I know and believe me; it cures the flu better than anything I know. So why don't you sit down and we'll see if you can keep this down.

Nora didn't say anything as he handed her a cup of chicken soup and a glass of ginger ale.

Nora: Thank you for being here John. I'm sorry about our date.

John: Hey, It's _not_ your fault that you're sick. But in case you haven't figured it out, I'm not going anywhere. So eat up.

After Nora managed to finish the soup, John gave her some medicine and she finished the glass of ginger ale. He helped her back to the bed and this time she fell asleep for a while. When she woke up, she sat on the couch with him and they watched TV.

Nora: Where are the kids?

John: They went out for some Pizza. Don't worry Nora, everything's ok. Now come on… just a little more of this…

Nora: I don't want any more of that crap.

John: Now come on Nora, it's going to make you feel better.

Nora: The only thing it does is make me want to puke, and believe me I don't _need_ anything else to make me feel that.

John: It also helps you sleep;

Nora: It's _no_t the ONLY thing that helps me sleep. (He looks at her and she smiles) And I'm NOT taking anything that tastes like chalk.

John: Nora, it's not supposed to taste like candy.

Nora: Well they could at LEAST make it taste edible.

John (Pause): Did anyone ever tell you that you're a TERRIBLE patient?

Nora: Yeah, I KNOW I'm a TERRIBLE Patient. That's why I HATE being sick. (Pause) You don't have to stay you know? We obviously can't go on our date so…

John: Oh no you don't. You're NOT getting rid of me that easy. I may not be able to take you out, but I'm CERTAINLY not leaving you. So… (He finally managed to sneak the medicine into her mouth and she just looked at him).

Nora: You are SO going to pay for that… When I have the energy to do it.

John: I'll hold you to that. Right now I'm taking you to bed.

Nora: Why John Mcbain….

John: Don't get any ideas there sweetie. You need to actually SLEEP tonight.

Nora: ok, ok. Whatever you say Dr. Mcbain.

She didn't say anything further as he helped her upstairs and put her back to bed. She just looked at him and smiled.

Nora: You know, you CAN come over here and hold me if you want? I sleep better when you do.

John: well in that case…

He didn't say anything more when he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her as she laid her head on his stomach. She just nodded off in his arms after the medicine finally kicked in. John just watched her sleep, knowing that there was nowhere else in the world he would rather be.

* * *

Bo was just sitting in his loft going over his fight with Nora when there was a knock at the door. He was surprised to find Matthew and Cole standing there.

Bo: Hey buddy, what are you doing here so late?

Matthew: Well mom's sick so…

Bo: What do you _mean_ she's sick? Is she ok?

Cole: You can relax. It's just the flu.

Bo: And you guys are _here_ instead of at home taking care of her?

Matthew: Relax dad. She's got Uncle John for that. And besides, she's probably sleeping.

Bo: Ok, so what _did_ you come here for?

Matthew: I wanted to talk to you about what you said to her. I know you saw her the other day and I know she was upset. The Only time she's EVER that upset is when she's fighting with _you_. I don't know what you said to her but you REALLY upset her…

Bo: Matthew, that's the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't want to upset her. I just wanted her to know how I felt.

Matthew: And don't you think it's a little _late_ for that? Dad, for God's sake, it's been YEARS since you EVER expressed _any_ kind of concern for her. What did you _think _she was going to do when you told her how you felt? You and I _both_ know that when Mom's mad, she doesn't let go of it that easily.

Bo: I know that son. And I also understand that she has a right to how she feels.

Matthew: You broke her heart dad. More than anyone else; you broke her heart. And now she's just done hurting. She's done hurting and she's done fighting. You've hurt her so bad that she finally just said enough. How can you ask her to put herself through that again?

Bo: The last thing I want to do is hurt her.

Matthew: You might not _want_ to but you do it every day. You NEVER _mean_ to hurt her dad but somehow she's ALWAYS the one who IS hurt by your actions. I've seen her cry herself to sleep more times then you know because of something that YOU have done and it's not fair. It's not fair to her that you _keep _walking in and out of her life. You want her one minute and the next you can't stand her. How do we know you're not going to flip the coin tomorrow? How does SHE know you're not going to cut and run the minute you cost her a really good man who loves her.

Bo: Wait a minute? John's in love with her?

Cole: And why is that so surprising to you? She's a good person and John's smart enough to know what he has.

Bo: Yeah, I guess he is. And believe it or not, I want her to be happy.

Matthew: She IS happy Dad. Can't you see it on her face? I don't want to hurt you because believe it or not I want you to be happy too. But mom's been hurt so much. The fact that she can smile at _anything_ is really something I didn't think I'd see for a long time. Uncle John makes her light up in a way that I didn't think she'd _ever_ feel again.

Bo: I've noticed that too. (Pause) Matthew, what exactly_ is_ it that you're asking me?

Matthew: YOU'RE the one who got involved with the woman who tried to kill her. And you know what Dad? I REALLY don't understand how you could do that to her? If you loved her at all, why would you want to hurt her like that? Why would you even give her a second look?

Bo: I wish I could answer that for you son. But the truth is that I have no clue.

Matthew: Well _maybe _you should figure it out before you decide to ask mom to take a gamble on you again. She deserves nothing less than total honesty. And if you _can't_ tell her _why_ you sold her out then you don't deserve her. Please dad… _don't_ ask her to go back to you if you _can't_ figure out why you hurt her in the first place. What happens if you do it again? What happens if you cut and run the first sign of trouble? Doesn't she deserve _better _than that? Doesn't she deserve a man who can take the heat when the going gets tough? Doesn't she deserve someone who will love her enough to do what's best for HER?

And with that they walked out the door, leaving Bo to ponder what his son just told him.

TBC

**NEXT TIME**

Nora and John Go On Their First Date

Bo Finds Nora In John's Arms


	24. A safe Harbor Part 24

**A Safe Harbor- Part 24**

_A Couple Days Later…_

Nora was just stepping out of the shower and was standing in a towel brushing a comb through her hair when John walked in. She smiled at him.

Nora: Guess who's feeling better today?

John: Well considering that you're standing in front of me… and looking pretty darn sexy I might add…

Nora: Flattery will get you everywhere.

John (Laughing Slightly): Does that mean I can kiss you now?

Nora: Well you BETTER.

He pulled her into a passionate kiss that seemed to take on a life of its own almost immediately. And then she just looked at him and smiled.

Nora: You feel Good John. I'm sorry I wouldn't let you kiss me when I was sick but I just didn't want you to catch it and I couldn't be sure that what I had wasn't contagious.

John: Well it was torture… but I guess I understand because I probably would have done the same thing. And for the record, _you_ feel INCREDIBLE.

Nora: Does that mean you're going to take me out on that date you keep promising me?

John: You couldn't pull me away. For a second there I was beginning to wonder if we'd even make the ball, much less our first date.

Nora: Yeah I know. I was beginning to wonder that myself. But you know what? Fate must be on our side because we only have a day to spare before the ball.

John: Fate was on our side the minute you showed up on my doorstep.

Nora(Smiling): Well how about we make a little fate of our own?

She closed the door and pulled him into a passionate kiss. He lifted her up on the counter and pulled her closer as they got lost in each other for what seemed like an eternity. When she tried to get off the counter a little while later, she lost her balance and fell on top of him as the towel came undone. He just looked at her before he brought her mouth to his. She finally had to pull away and wrap the towel around her as she walked out the door to get dressed. He followed her soon after and she was standing in front of him wearing an incredibly sexy business suit. He just stared at her.

John: How is it possible that you can look even better every time I see you?

He walked over to her and pulled her into a passionate kiss. She looked at him and smiled.

Nora: I have to get going. My office is probably a mess since I haven't been in, in a few days.

John: Then I'll see you tonight.

Nora: Yeah, I'll see you tonight. And John…

John: Yeah?

Nora: Thank you… Thank you for having patience with me. I know it couldn't have been easy.

John: Nora, if it was _Easy, _It wouldn't be worth the fight. YOU _are_ worth the fight. And I can't wait to see you tonight.

Nora: I can't wait to see you either. I'll be thinking of you all day.

John: Yeah, me too. And that's probably not a good thing.

She smiled at him as he watched her walk away. And then he set up his own surprise and walked away, knowing perfectly well that he wouldn't be getting any work done today.

* * *

Bo walked into Rex's office a little while later and took a seat. He could tell by the look on his face that it was bad.

Bo: What is it? Did you find out what Nora and Susannah were fighting about?

Rex: It's bad Bo. And I can understand why Nora doesn't want her sister around. She betrayed her in the worst way imaginable.

Bo: How so?

Rex: Nora was around 15, 16 when she got herself in a little trouble. She came to Susannah for help because she didn't think she could talk to her parents.

Bo: What do you MEAN trouble?

Rex: I mean she was pregnant. And Susannah's solution was for her to have an abortion.

Bo: WHAT? But Nora would never do that?

Rex: I know. And when she told her sister this, she arranged for her to go out of town to have the baby in secret. Nora thought she was helping her and they would figure out how to tell their parents when she came back. Only what she ended up doing was telling her that her baby was dead.

Bo: Are you telling me that Nora's got a kid out there somewhere?

Rex: All I know is that when Nora found out what her sister did, she didn't care about the reasons or the end game… she only saw the agony she felt when they put a dead baby in her arms and told her she was still born. Can you imagine the kind of grief that would cause a teenager? Can you imagine what that must have done to her?

Bo: But I don't understand? Why would her sister do that to her? They used to be so close.

Rex: I know. And I think she did it because she didn't want her sister to throw away her future to raise a baby when she was only a teenager. My guess is she wanted Nora to give the baby up for adoption and when she found out she was going to raise the baby, she made a calculated error and unwittingly put Nora on the path of destruction.

Bo: What does that mean?

Rex: She spent a year in a psych ward Bo. She couldn't accept that her baby was dead. She would hear voices in her head…hear crying in the night. And it culminated when she tried to take her own life.

Bo: WHAT?

Rex: Apparently the voices she was hearing were telling her that nobody would care if she was gone. She tried to fight it but she blamed herself for her baby's death. Eventually the guilt ate her alive and she couldn't take the pain anymore. She swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills and they had to pump her stomach. When she found out that Susannah had lied to her she almost had a relapse. That's kind of when she started drinking… as a way to numb the pain. And she almost never found her way out of the darkness. I think in a way Nora's never quite been whole. She's missing a piece of herself and until she finds that missing piece she's always going to be running from something.

Bo: Is it possible that her daughter is still alive?

Rex: It's ALWAYS possible. But I'm going to warn you against finding that child. That HAS to be Nora's decision Bo. If you push her on this, she's not only going to hate you but you may send her right over the edge. She's been dealing with an emotional roller coaster ride for most of her life. First she thought her daughter was dead. She had a dead baby placed in her arms and she grieved for that child. Then she finds out that her daughter is alive but her sister is responsible for everything she went through. There is NO WAY you could possibly understand that kind of pain. I know you lost your son Bo but this is different. It's like being given a second chance with a child you thought was gone forever and then having them snatched away all over again. What if Nora can't take any more hope? What if she's just had enough?

Bo: Has she looked for her daughter?

Rex: She's been looking for years and always came up empty handed. I think Nora's accepted that either her daughter is dead or she doesn't want to be found.

Bo: Or she doesn't know.

Rex: Bo, don't. Don't try to go down this road because it may not have a happy ending. Believe me; I know what it's like to wonder who your parents are and sometimes you want no part of them. What happens if her daughter doesn't want to be a part of her life? You can't control that Bo. And it just might be the straw that breaks the camels back. Nora didn't chose to give her child away but that may not matter. And what happens if she finds out that her daughter had a terrible life? Do you think that would make things BETTER for her Bo? There's too many if's in this situation so you need to think before you act. You _could_ end up sending the woman you love right back to her own version of hell. And if that happens, you're BOTH going to loose her… and Nora's going to loose HERSELF in the process.

* * *

Nora came home from work and was just going to hop in the shower when she noticed a box on her bed, with a single red rose lying on top of it. When she opened the box, she found a beautiful strapless gown with sequins on the bottom and layered with different colors. Lying next to it was a matching hairpin and a star necklace, with earrings to match. She smiled when she read the note.

_Nora, _

_I know that you already bought something for this day but I have something special planned for us tonight. You're my shining star so make sure you shine bright when you put those on. I love you and I can't wait to see you. _

_John_

She smiled when she went into the bathroom to take a shower and change. It was then that she found another box on the counter. Inside was a pair of shoes and some perfume. Inside was a smaller box filled with bath stuff.

_Nora, _

_I want you to take a nice luxurious bath and just let all your troubles melt away. Don't worry about the time; everything always works out the way it's meant to. I love you. _

_John_

She smiled as she turned on the water.

Nora: John Mcbain, when did you suddenly become such a romantic? Not that I'm complaining.

A little while later she was standing by the mirror putting the final touches on her outfit when her kids walked in.

Matthew: WOW, you look like a fairy princess mom

Nora: thanks Sweetie. I have no idea what John's got planned but he left all this stuff for me. When did he suddenly become such a mushy romantic?

Cole: Since _you_ came into his life. And by the way, you look STUNNING.

Nora: Thanks sweetie.

When she heard the doorbell ring she made her way down the stairs like a kid on Christmas. That was when she saw him standing there with a corsage.

Nora: Another present?

John: Now what kind of date would it be without a corsage?

She laughed as he slipped it on her wrist. Matthew and Cole smiled at her when she became giddy with excitement. And after she hugged them goodbye they turned to John

Cole: You kids be good.

Matthew: And don't keep her out all night on a school night.

Nora and John both laughed as they walked out the door. Nora couldn't believe her eyes when she saw what was standing in front of her.

Nora: A Limo? We're going on a date in a limo?

John: Only the best for you my dear. (They kiss)

After they take their places in the limo, Nora just smiles at him.

Nora: Ok you've got to tell me? Where are you taking me?

John: I'm surprised you can't tell. Do you remember that dream you were telling me about?

Nora: Oh my God… You're giving me my fantasy. I'm surprised I couldn't tell by the dress. How in the world did you find the exact replica that was in my dreams?

John: I had it made.

Nora: You _what?_ (She just looked at him and smiled) I can't believe you remembered _everything_ I told you.

John: Well I pay attention Nora.

Nora: I'll have to remember that.

They kissed as they enjoyed the rest of the ride wrapped in each other's arms. John took Nora to a café on the beach and they could hear the waves crashing as they enjoyed a candle lit dinner on the pier.

Afterwards, Nora took off her shoes and they walked on the beach as the sun set. After a while, Nora decided that she wanted to go in the water so John put their stuff down on the sand and joined her.

She was running through the water like she was flying and she had taken her clip out and thrown it up with the rest of their stuff so now she felt free as a bird. John took his jacket and shirt off and threw it up with their stuff and then he went to catch up with her. Her hair was wet and sloppy but she still looked like the most beautiful woman in the world to him. He walked over to her and took her in his arms as they started to kiss passionately. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she jumped in his arms and deepened the kiss.

Nora: Do you remember how my fantasy ends?

John: That's the best part.

(He kisses her as they walked back up to the sand and he pulled out a key)

Nora: is that a key to your heart?

John: You already have _that_. What this is is a key to that little cabin down there?

Nora: How did you_ know_ about this place John?

John: Don't you remember? It was in your dreams?

She laughed as they grabbed their stuff and practically ran towards the cabin. When they got to the door, he picked her up and used his foot to kick the rest of the stuff inside. Once the door was locked, he started kissing her passionately as he dropped her on the bed.

Nora: There BETTER not be any distractions this time.

John: There won't be. (He kisses her passionately)We're not leaving here until we make love.

He runs his fingers through her wet hair as he takes her face in his hands and kisses her. It was then that he began to run his hands across her body until he found the clasp of her dress and began to move the zipper down. He slipped the straps off her shoulder and gave each one a kiss. Then she sat up and he managed to pull it from her body. Nora then began to run a trail of kisses on his chest as she ran her hands over his body until she found the buttons on his pants and slipped them off. John brought her closer into him as he kissed her neck and ran his hands over her body until he unclasped her bra. They started to kiss more passionately as he laid her down on the bed. She wrapped her arms around him as he began to seduce her in more ways then one... and she melted in his arms when he pulled her closer and closer to the climax. There were no more reservations and no more putting it off as their feelings for each other finally intensified to an evening of lovemaking. And when they lay nestled in each other's arms, she knew that no matter what happened in the future she would never regret the night they just spent in ecstasy.

Nora: I wish we could just stay here forever but I don't want the kids waking up and finding us gone.

John: Does that mean what I _think_ it means?

Nora: It means I want you in my bed tonight. Thank you for making all of my dreams come true tonight.

John (Kissing her): I'm glad that we had a chance to do this.

Nora (Laughing as she kisses him): Yeah me too. We've waited long enough.

He kissed passionately as their feelings for each other began to take flight again. Neither of them knew that Bo had seen them together and took off before he could tell them why he had tracked her down in the first place. And none of them knew it was the worst thing he could have done.

**NEXT TIME**

Nora and Bo have a VERY Public Fight

Something goes terribly wrong at the ball

Bo realizes that he could have prevented the chaos

Nora blames Bo for her latest set of problems


	25. A Safe Harbor Part 25

**A Safe Harbor- Part 25**

As the sun came through the windows, Nora began to wipe the sleep from her eyes with a smile on her face. As she stretched out on the bed, she noticed that John was lying next to her smiling back.

Nora: You know John? You look good when you're smiling. You should try it more often.

John: Right back at you sweetheart… right back at you.

He took her face in his hands and brushed the hair back from her face as they kissed. What started out sweet and gentle quickly turned passionate and urgent and they were soon making love all over again.

Nora(Smiling): That was incredible.

John(Smiling Back): Yeah incredible.

They shared a knowing look before Nora grabbed the sheet and got up off the bed.

Nora: On that note, I really have to get ready for work. You're welcome to join me.

She gave him a sexy grin as they both disappeared into the bathroom for a hot shower and a few more stolen moments before they both left for work… neither of them ever really making it there.

* * *

Bo showed up at Susanna's Hotel a little while later. She could tell that he was nervous about something but she was almost afraid to push him on it because he looked so tense.

Susannah: What? Why do you look so upset? (He just looked at her) Bo come on, whatever it is, you need to just get it out. Bo?

Bo: I… I found them in bed together. And you know what Susannah? I thought I was prepared for this. I thought I was prepared for the inevitable reality of finding out they slept together. But I didn't expect that I'd get such a graphic picture. And I couldn't even sleep last night because every time I closed my eyes I could see that 4X4 in my mind.

Susannah: Don't You Think That's How SHE felt every time she walked in on you and one of your girlfriends? Doesn't feel so good now that the shoe is on the other foot does it?

Bo: It feels like I just got hit by a bus. And you know what I felt when I first saw them? I couldn't breathe. It took me a few moments to even realize what was happening because I felt like I just had the wind knocked out of me.

Susannah: I hope you're not expecting me to give you a pat on the back because you did this to yourself Bo. If you had actually gotten off of this "poor me" routine and actually fought for her sooner then this wouldn't be happening. You CAN'T be mad at her for moving on. I hope that's not why you're here. Because if you're here to vent about how wronged you were then you know where the door is.

Bo: I'm here because… I'm here… Oh God I don't even KNOW why I'm here. I guess I needed to vent.

Susannah: Well you've done that. So if there's nothing more…

Bo: You're kicking me out?

Susannah: I've got things to do. So if you don't mind?

Bo: You know it's no wonder you and your sister don't get along. There are SOME things your EXACTLY alike in.

And with that he walked out the door, leaving Susannah to wonder what the hell that was about.

* * *

**30 minutes before the ball**

Nora was now standing in front of the mirror as she fixed her hair. She was wearing a strapless burgundy ball gown that was filled with sparkles. She had her hair put up in a French twist and was just about to grab the shawl when John walked in.

John: WOW. You are _really_ going to put other women to shame. You Look INCREDIBLE Nora.

Nora(Smiling): You don't look so bad yourself Mcbain. (Pause) Is that the tie I bought you?

John: Yeah, I guess it is.

Nora: Here, Let me help you with that? (She started to fuss with the tie and he just smiled at her) There you go. You look mighty handsome if I must say so myself.

John (Pausing): Nora, You look beautiful. Well to be more accurate, there are simply no words to describe how you look. And I have no idea how I'm going to be able to keep my hands off of you all night when you take my breath away.

Nora(Smiling): Well then how about I give you a little preview of what's to come?

She took his tie and pulled him towards her until they were locked in a passionate kiss that seemed to get deeper and deeper by the minute. Before long they were making love.

* * *

**At the ball, almost an hour later**

Susannah: Are you EVER going to tell me why you REALLY came to my house this morning? I KNOW it wasn't just for a sounding board because if that was the case you could have gone to one of your friends or even picked up the phone. You were fishing for something? What was it?

Bo: I was just… I was…

Susannah: Stop stalling Bo. Whatever it is you did, you better just tell me because you and I both know that secrets ALWAYS come out in the end. And they're usually a hell of a lot worse if you're not honest about them. So what is it? What did you do?

Bo: I… I know what happened between you and your sister when she was a teenager.

Susannah: What are you talking about?

Bo: I know about the baby and I know what you did to keep it quiet. I also know how it backfired.

Susannah (Pausing): How could you _possibly_ know about that? Nora hasn't told ANYONE about that time and I sure as hell haven't spoken of it. How the HELL do you know about the worst time in our lives?

Nora: I'd like to know the answer to that one myself? And you BETTER tell me the truth this time.

Bo (Pausing): Nora… I was beginning to think you weren't coming.

Nora: I got held up. Now stop stalling and tell me what the hell is going on? NOW!!

Bo (Pausing): I… I did a little background check

Nora: YOU HAD ME INVESTIGATED. YOU HAD ME INVESTIAGTED. YOU SON OF A BITCH.

And with that she hauled off and slugged him.

Nora: I THINK YOU NEED TO GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T KILL YOU?

She started hitting him in the stomach.

Nora: YOU HAD NO RIGHT… NO RIGHT BO. THIS IS MY LIFE. YOU GOT THAT? MY LIFE. AND YOU CAN'T JUST DECIDE WHAT YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW ABOUT. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU FREAKING SON OF A BITCH.

She eventually became so angry that John had to pull her off of him so she wouldn't do some REAL damage.

Bo: Nora if you would just calm down…

Nora: CALM DOWN? OH YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN NOW? I'LL GIVE YOU CALM… (She started shoving him as hard as she could)

Bo: Ok… I think we've established that you're angry.

Nora: Oh gee, whatever gave you that idea?

Bo: Nora Please. Would you STOP ranting and raving for five minutes and actually listen to me.

Nora: WHY? WHY THE HELL SHOULD I GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY WHEN YOU JUST SOLD ME OUT IN THE WORST WAY IMAGINABLE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW?

Bo: Yeah, I think I got that. (Pause) But Nora, It wasn't like that. I was trying to help you?

Nora: REALLY? AND HOW EXACTLY WERE YOU PLANNING ON DOING THAT BO? AND MORE TO THE POINT… WHAT LITTLE TRANSGRESSION DO YOU THINK I NEED HELP WITH NOW? IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT, I'm STILL STANDING.

Bo: Nora, For God's Sake… You lost a child… two now. And no matter what you say, you're not dealing with it.

Nora: According to who? Last time I checked you didn't have a P.H.D. And even if you _did_, it doesn't give you the right to stand there and dictate _how_ I live my life? And more to the point; _who_ I live it with? That's what this is about isn't it? You CAN'T stand the fact that I didn't go falling into your arms the moment you confessed your undying love for me? And you REALLY can't stand the fact that I've chosen to live my life with someone that's NOT you. Well you know what Bo? You can go straight to hell.

Bo: Why are you SO determined to dodge this? Can't you see that you need help?

Nora: I GOT Help. Isn't that what your little research told you? I spent a year in a damn psych ward being poked and prodded and having my brain picked… and you know what? My daughter was STILL gone. No matter what I did, when I woke up in the middle of the night crying she was STILL gone. And THAT was on Susannah's head. (She turned to her sister) I don't give a damn how sorry you are. I don't care why you did it. You made me believe that my little girl was dead. You arranged for them to put a dead baby in my arms and then you watched when I cried for her. Thanks to YOU, I may never see my little girl again. So…(Looking her dead in the eyes) As far as I'm concerned I don't have a sister anymore. And YOU… (To Bo) You keep telling me how much you want me to trust you and then you go and do these _stupid_ things that end up causing the _exact_ opposite. I'm sick of it Bo. I_ get _that you don't_ like _that I'm seeing John but that's just too damn bad. I'm a grown woman and I can figure out who the hell I want to be with without _any_ input from YOU. I am NOT your wife anymore. And that means you DON'T get to have a hissy fit over who I happen to be seeing at the moment.

Bo: Apparently you're doing a LOT more then just seeing him?

Nora: What is THAT supposed to mean?

Bo: Are you going to deny that you're sleeping with him?

Nora: Oh, here were go again… You and your ridiculous accusations. What do you want to say _now_ Bo? You want to call me a slut again? Go ahead. Have at it. It's _not_ going to change the fact that what John and I have isn't some cheap fling like you want to believe.

Bo: Nora, for God's sake I was there. I saw you in bed with him…

Nora: You were THERE? My God Bo… What are you doing? Spying on us? LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. LEAVE US ALONE!! (Getting in his face) I AM SO DAMN SICK OF YOUR MIND GAMES. And you know what Bo? I'm NOT some ping pong ball in some game of tug of war. I have feelings. And I'm SO Tired of being some prize you think you can fight over. I'm _not_ a prize Bo. I'm _not_ a possession. _That's_ how you're brother treated me so if you THINK you're going to pick up where HE left off you can think again. I'm _done_ being treated like that.

She started to walk away when he stopped her.

Bo: Nora… Nora wait. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything.

Nora: Do you have ANY idea how sick I am of that word. _How_ many times are you going to screw up Bo? _How_ many times are you going to have to say it? Because if you want to have a relationship with me at ALL, you have GOT to STOP doing stupid things that cause you to be sorry. I am sick to death of that word. And right now I am so damn sick of YOU that I could just scream. (Putting her hands up to stop him from speaking) I'm done Bo. I'm done yelling; I'm done apologizing; I'm done listening. I'm just done.

Just as she was walking away from him, she heard John screaming her name and then he was grabbing her and pushing her to the ground as gunfire broke out. When the dust had settled, she looked up and noticed that she had blood on her hands. But almost in the same moment she realized it wasn't hers.

Nora: SOMEONE CALL 911 NOW.

Nora(Cradling him in her arms): John… John wake up? John?

Before she had a chance to process this, Bo was coming towards her.

Bo: Nora… Nora are you ok?

Nora(Screaming): How do you THINK I am Bo? John just saved my life and now he's lying in a puddle of blood. You BETTER have a damn good reason for this Bo. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

Bo: What makes you think I know?

Nora: Because I know that look. What aren't you telling me?

Bo(Pausing): Clint and Lindsay escaped from prison last night?

Nora: Oh God… God they did this didn't they? Either Clint was after John or Lindsay was after me. Either way, this is all YOUR fault. If you had told me the truth last night then at least we could have known what to look out for.

Bo: You were a little _busy_ last night.

Nora: Don't you DARE stand there and use that ridiculous excuse. You know damn well what constitutes being an emergency and what doesn't. And I swear to God Bo, If ANYTHING happens to him… If I loose someone else I love because of YOUR jealousy then I'll NEVER forgive you.

Just then the EMT's arrived and loaded him on the stretcher. Nora looked Bo straight in the eyes.

Nora: You BETTER find Clint and Lindsay Bo and YOU BETTER Pray that he makes it. Because I swear to God… I will NEVER speak to you again if your actions take him away from me. Now I'm going in the ambulance and you BETTER not try to stop me. Find the Bastards who did this to him. You owe it to us both.

Bo just watched her walk away and it was then that it hit him. She was right. If he hadn't been so consumed with Jealousy then he could have warned her and they could have been prepared. Now Nora's an emotional wreck and John's hanging on by a thread. And he was going to find out who was responsible for this if it was the last thing he did. He just hoped that fate was on their side because Nora didn't deserve to loose someone else she cared about in such a violent way. He only hoped that he could find some way to help her before she let the darkness take over.

Nora was sitting in the ambulance holding John's hand a little while later.

Nora: Don't go getting any bright ideas about checking out on me Mcbain. Because I swear to God if you _don't_ fight this I am going to find a way to catch up with you and kick your ass.

She took her hand and brushed the hair back from his face as she looked at him. Then she kissed him gently. The tears then fell from her face.

Nora: I… I need you to come back to me John. I need you to be the _one _person who doesn't leave me.

TBC

**NEXT TIME**

Bo Tries to Help Nora, As She's Slowly Coming Undone

Nora Refuses to Leave John's Bedside

Matthew and Cole worry about Nora's state of mind

Nora Begs John to come back to her


	26. A Safe Harbor Part 26

**A Safe Harbor- Part 26**

Nora watched in horror as they wheeled John into the emergency room and hooked him up to a million different machines. She couldn't feel anything anymore when the reality of it all finally hit her like a ton of bricks… she was just numb. She had cried and she had screamed; she had prayed and she had pleaded; now she just couldn't feel anything.

When Michael came around the corner and saw her standing there looking in John's room with a blank stare on her face, holding his jacket like it was a life saver, he came over to her and pulled her into a hug. She finally looked at him and could no longer control the flood of emotions as she collapsed in his arms crying.

Nora: I feel like this is some horrible nightmare. And then when it hits me that it's real; I feel like I'm watching my life happen to someone else. He saved my Life Michael and because of that he's lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. It SHOULD be me. He was shot because he was standing too close to ME. He would be better off forgetting all about me. Everyone I love ALWAYS ends up in shambles.

Michael: So you're going to _what_? Close yourself off from EVER feeling anything again? You and I both know it doesn't work that way.

Nora: You don't understand. I'm_ not_ going to be able to live with myself if something happens to him. I've watched people I love gunned down and murdered right in front of me. And I've had to sit on the sidelines when I can't save them. I can't do it anymore Michael; I don't have the strength to allow myself to open up my heart only to have it shattered.

Michael: Nora, he loves you. My brother has been happier then I've seen him in a LONG time and that's because of YOU. And believe me he has NEVER thought about putting down roots until YOU came into his life. So if you THINK he's going to check out of this world without a damn good fight then you're wrong. I have a feeling he would fight death itself to come back to YOU.

Nora: Nobody EVER comes back for me. And nobody EVER fights for me. It's not a pity party; it's just the way things are.

Michael: And what if you're wrong Nora? What if this is the ONE time someone loves you enough to stick around?

Nora (Pausing as she looks at him): I wish I could believe that Michael. I wish I could believe that he had a choice… But you have to understand that for me… for me love is what kills me. And I'll NEVER forgive myself if something happens to him.

He watched her walk away and tried to control the flood of emotions in his own heart. His brother was fighting for his life because he saved the life of the woman he loved. And now she was coming down with a classic case of survivor's guilt and he didn't have a clue how to help her any more then he knew how to save his brother. And he also had a pretty good idea that wherever Nora was going, she was going to be in a world of pain when she got there.

Michael: Oh John… John you have to come back. Nora needs you. And so do I.

* * *

She could feel the gentle breeze in her face when she stepped out onto the roof of the hospital. As she leaned out over the railing and looked down at all the people, she could imagine what it would be like not to have a care in the world. She almost wished she could be as free as the birds; she wished she could find a way to not hurt anymore. She was tired of the pain and she was tired of always coming just close enough to happiness to have it all snatched away. But most of all she was tired of feeling guilty. Maybe life would just be simpler if she could disappear. Maybe the people she loved would be safer if she wasn't around.

For a moment she considered stepping up on that railing and just letting life take her but then she stopped and turned around and remembered the reason she would never do that… her kids… she could never leave her kids… no matter how miserable she was, her kids were her life. And they needed her just as much as she needed them.

She could see the scene unfold right before her eyes… John screaming for her… being wrestled to the ground… the gunfire all around her… and finally when she looked up and saw that he was lying in a puddle of his own blood. It was like a snapshot in her mind that played over and over again. And sometimes she could hear the sound of silence when they dragged him away on a stretcher.

She wrapped John's jacket around her as she looked up at the sky.

Nora: I'm_ never_ going to live this one down am I? I'm going to go to bed every night and see him gunned down and wake up every morning and realize that it's not just a bad dream. WHY? Why are you doing this to me? What did I do that was SO bad? WHAT?

The tears she struggled to conceal now seemed to fall like rain as she grabbed hold of the railing.

Nora: I'm not in the position to ask you for anything anymore. I've made horrible mistakes that have cost the people I love a great deal of pain. And if that's what this is about then I wish you'd just take your penance on ME. I will gladly stand in the line of fire and pay for my sins. But Please God… if you're out there somewhere… if you can hear me at all…Please don't take John away from me. Please don't take him away from the people who need him… from the people who love him. Please… Please God… if you want me to beg then Here I am on my hands and knees begging you to use whatever pull you have to bring him back to me. Don't take him from me when I was just starting to realize how much I need him… how much I want him in my life. Please don't take him away from me. Please.

She collapsed in tears just as Matthew and Cole showed up.

Matthew: Mom? Mom, are you ok?

Nora (Turning around to face her kids): I'll be fine sweetie. I just needed a little time.

Cole: Are you sure you're ok? You look a little flushed?

Nora: I'm just tired sweetie. I was there when John was shot. I watched him gunned down right in front of me. And I… He saved my life. Now I'm trying to save his but I don't know how. I'm really worried about him.

Matthew: Is he going to be ok mom?

Nora: He'll be fine sweetie. Uncle John doesn't give up on someone he loves without a darn good fight. And neither do I. I'm going to go sit with him for a little bit. (She turned to her kids) Don't worry so much; He's going to come back to us. He has to. I WON'T let him leave me.

After she walked away, Matthew and Cole turned to each other in concern.

Matthew: I've never seen her like this Cole.

Cole: I know. And I'm really worried about her.

Matthew: Is she going to be ok?

Cole: She has to be; we'll find a way to help her Matthew. Right now she's just so scared that she doesn't know WHAT to do.

Matthew: do you really think he's going to make it?

Cole: I think if _anything_ will bring him back it will be _her_. Not just because he loves her but because she needs him.

Matthew: I hope you're right. Mom doesn't look so good.

Cole: No she dosen't. No, she dosen't look good at all.

Susannah: Hello Matthew.

Matthew: Aunt Susannah?

Susannah: And you must be Cole.

Cole: You're Nora's sister?

Susannah: That's right.

Matthew: It's a good thing you're here. Maybe you could help mom.

Susannah(Pausing): I don't think that would be such a good idea. I think her seeing me would make things worse.

Cole: Why?

Susannah: Because Nora doesn't want to see me. And I don't see that changing anytime soon. Your mother doesn't consider me her sister anymore.

Matthew: Then you must have done something _really_ bad. She _doesn't_ turn her back on the people she loves unless there's a _really_ good reason. So what did you do to hurt mom?

Susannah: Let's just say I tried to protect her when she was about Cole's age and it ended up causing the exact opposite.

Cole: What did you do?

Susannah: I gave away her baby. And Then I made her think she was dead.

* * *

Nora walked into John's hospital room a little while later and almost broke down when she saw him hooked up to all of those machines. Forcing herself to be strong, she took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips. Then she sat down and brushed the hair out of his face as she looked at him.

Nora: Do you have _any_ idea how happy you have made me since I showed up on your doorstep that day? You've done more then save my sanity John; you've given me a kind of peace that I didn't think I'd ever find again. (She leaned over and kissed him gently) I really don't know what I'd do without you John Mcbain. I'm _not_ _asking_ you to come back for me; I'm BEGGING you to come back for me. Please John. Everyone I've ever loved has left me. And I've never been good enough for anyone to stick around and fight for. You made me feel like I was worth something. You made me feel like I was worth the fight. Please don't make a liar out of me. Come back to me. Please… please don't leave me. I need you.

She laid her head on his stomach and cried. Bo showed up a little while later and saw her curled up in his arms crying.

Bo: Nora?

Nora: What are you doing here?

Bo: I'm worried about you. Is there anything you need?

Nora: I need for you to turn back the clock so John doesn't get shot. Can you do that Bo? Because if not I don't why you're here talking to me when you SHOULD be out _there _finding the bastards who did this to him.

Bo: I'm not on the force anymore Nora; there's not much I can do. Why don't you let me get you something to eat? You need to take care of yourself Nora.

Nora: I'm not going ANYWHERE with you. And I'm NOT leaving him Bo. I'm right where I need to be.

Bo: Just a few minutes Nora. That's all I'm asking. You need to eat something.

Nora: I'm not hungry.

Bo: Then eat something anyways. You're NOT going to do John any good if you're dead on your feet. Please. Please don't do this to yourself.

Nora: DON'T presume to know ANYTHING about my relationship with John. You don't have a clue Bo. You don't understand what he means to me.

Bo: I know that you love him. And I know that you're scared out of your mind right now. I also know what you're doing and I'm NOT going to let you do it. You are NOT going to push everyone who loves you out of your life because you think we'll be better off without you. I got news for you Red… NONE of us are EVER better off without you.

Nora(Tears in her eyes): You wouldn't be saying that if you knew the truth. You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what I did?

Bo: I think I know just about everything there is to know about you. And nothing you could EVER tell me would change how I feel about you. So what is it? What are you so afraid to tell me?

Nora: I'm responsible for someone's death Bo. The father of my child… the man I loved more then anything back in high school… he's dead because of me. And now… now it's happening again. What happened to John is all my fault. And I don't understand how ANY of you can stand there and look at me after what I've done? I can't… I can't do this again Bo. I can't burry another man I love and live with the guilt.

TBC

**NEXT TIME**

Bo tries to convince Nora that she's not to blame

Matthew and Cole react to Susannah's confession

Nora dreams about John


	27. A Safe Harbor Part 27

**A Safe Harbor- Part 27**

She had promised herself that she wouldn't let him see her cry again; she had sworn that she would find a way to swallow her pain and be strong again; but somehow what she had told herself and what she had actually done were two different things all together; And as hard as she tried to deny it, she was glad he was here.

Nora: I guess you would probably be the ONE person who understands what it's like to love someone and then have them die in your arms. And that's exactly what happened to me Bo. A long time ago, I loved a man who died in my arms. And you know what his last words were? (Pause) He looked in my eyes and said I'll love you forever Nora. Don't blame yourself. Then he kissed me one more time and took his last breath. Do you have _any_ idea what that did to me? Do you _understand _the kind of guilt I had to live with because of that? I mean My God Bo… he died because he loved me.

Bo: Honey, it's _not_ your fault. I know you feel like it is but your wrong. You didn't put a bullet in John any more then you killed this man.

Nora: Maybe not directly but let's face it Bo…. John's in the hospital because he loves me… and Nick was gunned down for the same reason. You should count your blessings. Just look at my track record. Sam's dead. Troy and Daniel are in prison. Clint's on the run. John's in the hospital and Nick was gunned down and murdered right in front of me. You're the _only_ one who's still standing and you didn't exactly get away unscathed did you?

Bo: Nora STOP this…You have _got_ to stop blaming yourself. The ONLY person to blame is the bastards who pulled the trigger.

Nora (Tears in Her Eyes): I can't help it Bo. I can't help feeling guilty when the _only_ reason he was shot is because he was with ME. If he doesn't make it… If he…

When she started to become hysterical, Bo pulled her into his arms for a hug that she desperately needed.

Bo: I want you to listen to me Nora… John's going to wake up. He's going to come back to you… He's going to come back because he would be a fool not to.

Nora: What makes you so sure of that Bo? _You_ didn't come back to me.

Bo: I know… and it was the worst mistake I ever made. John's smarter then I was. He's smarter because he _knows_ what he has in you. He's NOT going to give up on you red. (Pause) I'll tell you one thing that will help remind him of that? Why don't you go get some of his things? I know you don't want to leave the hospital but I'll stay with him if you want.

Nora: Bo, I don't…

Bo: Don't you think he would want to have some of the things that mean the most to him when he wakes up? Besides you I mean.

Nora (Smiling): Ok fine, I'll go. But DON'T be telling him anything upsetting.

Bo: Nora, what would I say to him? (She looks at him with the classic Nora look) Relax Nora… I'm _not_ going to tell him ANYTHING that would take him away from you. I know you would never forgive me if I did.

Nora: You're right… I wouldn't. And just because you do something decent doesn't mean I've forgotten everything else. I'm still mad as hell.

Bo: Believe me; I know.

She walked over to John's bedside and kissed him gently.

Nora: I'm not going to be long sweetheart. You just keep fighting your way back to me. I love you.

After Nora walked away, Bo turned to John.

Bo: You're a lucky man Mcbain; you've got the best woman we know fighting for you… what more could you possibly want. (Pause) I'm sorry John. I know I probably should have handled things a little better but I let my jealousy get in the way of doing the right thing. You have no idea how sorry I am for that. This could have been Nora and I don't think either of us could handle it if something bad happened to her so thanks… thanks for saving her life… and thanks for loving her. I may not like it but she deserves to be happy and you have given her _so_ much of that. So fight this John… Fight it because I don't think Nora would be ok without you… and neither would I. We may be in love with the same woman but you're a good guy and you don't deserve to pay for my mistakes… and neither does Nora. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry John.

* * *

Matthew: What do you MEAN you gave away her baby?

Susannah (Pausing): Your mother was…

Nora: Don't you DARE say another word. This isn't your damn secret to tell. And I am SO tired of the people in my life conveniently forgetting about that. It's MY life and MY secret to tell.

Susannah: Nora, I was just…

Nora: I KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT YOU WERE DOING. AND I DON'T WANT YOU ANYWHWERE NEAR MY FAMILY.

Susannah: Believe it or not I was trying to help.

Nora: I _don't _want your kind of help. Last time you did that, I lost someone I loved. I'm on edge enough as it is. DON'T add to it by coming near my kids.

Susannah: I'm sorry Nora. I know that I messed things up royally but I hope that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Nora: I don't see that happening. But if it does, it will be on MY terms. So please just leave me alone. I can't deal with you when I'm struggling to keep it together.

Susannah: I'm sorry Nora. And believe it or not, I DO love you. That's why I've done everything I've done. I think even YOU could understand that.

Nora: DON'T throw my past in my face.

Susannah: I'm not. I just want you to understand where I'm coming from.

Nora: I don't CARE where you're coming from. I'm done being the woman everyone always expects to forgive and forget. You hurt me Susannah. You hurt me so much that you almost killed me. I DON'T forgive. And I sure as hell don't forget. Now please just leave.

Susannah: I hope John's ok Nora. You deserve to be happy.

After she walked away, Matthew turned to Nora.

Matthew: Do you have another kid mom? Is what she said true?

Nora (Pausing): Yes it's true. But I don't know where she is Matthew. Your aunt Susannah made me think she was dead. Now I'm walking on eggshells trying to forget the pain I felt when I held who I thought was my daughter and she was dead. Loosing a child is the worst kind of pain and I don't think I have that much forgiveness in me Matthew. I'm sorry; I know you love your aunt Susannah but I can't have her part of my life. (Pause) If you want to see her then I'll make arrangements when I'm not around. I don't want to push my feelings on you Matthew. You have a right to make your own decisions.

Matthew: If she hurt you then I don't want to see her.

Nora: Ok. Can we talk about this later? I don't want to be away from John for that much longer… especially since I left your father with him.

Matthew: Dad's with Uncle John? Are you sure that's a good idea.

Nora: I'm not sure of ANYTHING when it comes to your father. Which is why I want to get this over with?

Cole: get what over with?

Nora: He actually had a good idea. He said maybe John would want to have some of his things when he wakes up. And that's exactly what I'm going to do. But I want to tell you guys something first. John and I were going to tell you together but since he can't be here, I'll just do the honors. (Pause) He asked me to move in with him and I said yes. There's a little cabin that he bought for us. Now I know you have become accustomed to the mansion but…

Matthew: mom, it's ok. If you're happy then so am I.

Cole: When do we get to see this place?

Nora: How does right now sound?

* * *

After Matthew and Cole insisted on staying in their rooms at the new house, Nora kissed them goodnight and went outside to sit on the porch swing for a little bit. She was wearing the shirt John was wearing when they first made love and she could feel the gentle breeze on her skin when she closed her eyes.

She could see the desire in his eyes when he kissed her. And as his face ran through her mind, she let herself go back to that moment in the cabin when everything was perfect.

She could see him running his hands through her hair as it was wet from the water. She could feel him crashing his mouth on hers as he kissed her. She could imagine the thrill she felt when he slowly moved the zipper down and pulled her dress off of her. Then she remembered the feel of running her hands across his body and kissing him until she could find his pants to pull off. And she could still see him wrapping her in his arms as he kissed her neck and pulled her bra off. Then she pictured the feel of being wrapped in his arms when he made love to her. She would never forget how it felt to be wanted that much. She would never forget the wonderment of their first date… and of making love in a secluded cabin on the beach for the first time. Oh how she wished he was here to hold her right now.

As her tears began to fall, she looked up and noticed that Viki was standing in front of her.

Nora: I… how long have you been standing there?

Viki: Long enough to know that something's changed. And I'm not talking about John being shot either. So where did you go Nora? What's changed?

Nora (Smiling): I was dreaming about making love to John.

Viki: in the literal sense or was it just a dream.

Nora: We had the most amazing first date Viki. He gave me my fantasy. And then we made love in this secluded little cabin on the beach. That's what I was thinking about.

Viki: oh sweetheart, you sound so happy when you talk about that.

Nora: I am. He made me so happy Viki. I haven't felt that wanted in a really long time and you know what? It felt wonderful.

Viki: You deserve it Nora. You deserve all of it.

Nora: I just wish he was here to hold me. I guess that's why I'm wearing the shirt he had on the night we made love. I want to feel close to him.

Viki: So do you?

Nora: Yeah, I do. Maybe that's why I'm dreaming of him. I can almost feel him here with me.

Viki: So hang on to that sweetie. He's going to come back to you. He loves you far too much to give up on you.

Nora: I hope your right. I don't want to live my life without him. (Pause) Viki, I'm sorry but I want to get back to the hospital. I didn't want to be gone THIS long as it is.

Viki: Then let me drive you. You shouldn't be alone during a time like this.

Nora: Thanks. Thanks for always being the one person I can count on.

Viki: That's what friends are for.

TBC

**NEXT TIME **

Cole and Matthew plan a surprise for Nora and John

Nora finds something special In John's pocket

Bo chooses between Nora and his brother


	28. A safe Harbor Part 28

**A Safe Harbor- Part 28**

_A Few Hours Later…_

Nora had just finished taking all of John's things out of the bag when Michael walked in.

Michael: Wow. I can't believe you've managed to find all of John's favorite things in such a short amount of time. This place looks amazing Nora.

Nora: Well I wasn't exactly finished. Check this out?

She took a strand of lights out of the bag and he looked at her.

Michael: Christmas lights?

Nora: Yeah, I know. John's not exactly into very many holidays and I'm not of the right faith but what can I say? I have this crazy idea that if I can turn this place into some sort of paradise then maybe he'll wake up and celebrate with us.

Michael: Nora… You DO know Christmas is still a few months away don't you?

Nora: Which means he has plenty of time to come back to us. (She smiles at him) Come On Michael… Will you help me hang these things?

Michael: You're crazy, you know that?

Nora: So I've been told…

She laughs as he hangs the Christmas lights and then turns back to look at them. He puts his arm around her as they stand back and watch when he turns them on.

Michael: He's going to be ok Nora. Don't loose faith in that.

Nora: You know what? I think I'm finally starting to believe that again.

He gives her a kiss on the forehead and then turns to leave.

Michael: You take care of yourself ok?

Nora: You Too.

After he walked away, Nora turned to John and smiled.

Nora: Ok John. I'm going to give you until Christmas to come back to me. If you don't open your eyes by then, I'm going to have to find a way to kick your ass. I'm NOT letting you leave the people who care about you without a damn good fight.

She gave him a gentle kiss before taking a seat next to him and trying to control the tears in her eyes.

Nora: I wish you could see how much I need you. I… I feel like I can't catch my breath John. And every time I close my eyes I have these horrible dreams. I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid of loosing everything that matters to me. (Pause) You matter to me John. You do. And I wish to God that I could stand here and promise you everything you deserve but I can't. I have no idea what's even going to happen tomorrow… much less next week or a month down the line. But what I CAN promise you is to love you for as long as we have and never regret a single second of the time we have together. We didn't have enough time John. We didn't have enough time. You can't leave me now. I won't LET you leave me now.

When she put her head on his chest and let the tears fall, she began to feel something jabbing her in the side so she reached in the pocket and found the box.

Nora: Oh My God… Oh My God he was going to propose to me tonight?

Natalie: He was going to WHAT?

* * *

Cole and Matthew woke up a little while later and noticed that Nora had left.

Matthew: She's at the hospital right?

Cole: Yeah. I think she just needed to see that he was going to be ok. And I believe that he will be Matthew. He's strong. And so is she.

Matthew: I just wish there was something we could do for her.

Cole (Pausing): I think maybe there is.

Matthew: What do you mean?

Cole: This house. Maybe we could find a way to make this place seem like a home. That way they won't have to worry about anything when he comes home.

Matthew: I think that's a really good idea. Do you think we'll be able to make it look like something they'd both like?

Cole: I think it's something we could figure out together. What do you say we go to the store first thing in the morning? It's kind of late right now.

Matthew: Yeah that's a good idea. I just… I want mom to be happy. She's been through so much.

Cole: Yeah she has. And you know what? I think she may be on the road to that pretty soon.

Matthew: But what if it's true what they said? What if Uncle Clint tried to kill her? How can things ever be the same if he did?

Cole (Pausing): You know Matthew, sometimes bad things happen to good people and there's just no way to ever understand it. I think this might be one of those situations. If your Uncle Clint tried to kill her then they'll find out. And if they do then we can deal with it then. In the meantime, I think we better try and get back to sleep. We've got a big day ahead of us.

Matthew (Pause): Thanks Cole.

Cole: That's what big brothers are for right?

Matthew: Yeah… Yeah, I guess it is.

* * *

Bo went back to his loft and was preparing to go upstairs and try and get some sleep before going back to the hospital when he caught a glimpse of a shadow. Turning on the light, he was amazed to see his brother standing in front of him.

Bo: Are you crazy… or just stupid.

Clint: Bo, come on. I had nowhere else to go.

Bo: And why would you think I would EVER try to help you? I told you that you were dead to me.

Clint: Look, I know that you're upset but we're family.

Bo: We haven't been family in a long time Clint.

Clint: You don't mean that.

Bo: I mean every word. (Pause) Do you have any idea what you've done to my son? See that's what you failed to calculate in your little plan. Matthew adores his mother. And watching her in ANY kind of pain tears him apart. Now I will take my share of the blame for some of that but my God Clint… you have caused an unspeakable amount of pain for the two people I love the most… and Cole… what about what you did to Cole? Nora loves that kid like her own. And he is finally starting to think of her as his mother. He's letting her adopt him and there was a time when that NEVER would have happened. You put that kid in more anguish. And what about Nora huh? You say you love her? What the hell kind of love do you call that? Do you have ANY idea how much pain she's in? Do you even care?

Clint: What exactly do you want from me? Do you want me to pretend that I give a damn that the man who…

Bo: Don't… don't you DARE stand there and say that he stole Nora away from you because that's a blatant lie and you know it. YOU cheated on her Clint. And you not only cheated on her in her own home but you actually managed to get your mistress pregnant…

Clint: Look, I made a mistake

Bo: It's only a mistake if you're actually sorry. The only thing _you're _sorry for is that you got caught. I mean honestly Clint? What did you expect her to do? You were having an ongoing affair with her mortal enemy behind her back, in her own home? I think that's about more then just betraying her… it's about disrespecting her and everything you stand for. (Pause) She loved you Clint. She gave you everything she had until she was empty. How could you expect her to give you anything more when loving you just about drained her of everything good? You took a good woman's love and you used it as a weapon. You had her so turned around that she couldn't trust anything…. John's the one that gave that back to her. John's the one who put the broken pieces back together.

Clint: Are you honestly going to stand there and tell me you're ok with that?

Bo (Pause): Look, I wish she hadn't gotten involved with him ok. Seeing them together just about kills me. But you know what? I did the same thing to HER not that long ago. Hell, I've done it a lot more then that if I were honest with myself. And Nora… Nora deserves to have a little happiness in her life. She deserves to be with a guy that can tell her what's in his heart.

Clint: And you actually think that's John?

Bo: I KNOW its John. He Loves her. He's actually gotten over his fear of those three little words and told her how he feels. And Nora… Nora loves him. I'm not sure if it's the kind of love you build a life on… and I guess for selfish reasons I'm hoping it's not… But I do know that whatever kind of love it is…It shouldn't be diminished. She loves him and he makes her happy. I love her enough to want that for her. And you know what Clint? I'm not going to let you wreck whatever shred of happiness she may still have because of your stupid Jealousy. So tell me something Clint? Where is your partner in crime?

Clint: wait a minute. You think _I_ Did This?

Bo: It can't REALLY be that surprising to you Clint. You and Lindsay miraculously escape the night before John is gunned down. And the thing is that whoever gunned him down was actually aiming for Nora. So what I want to know is if you tried to put a bullet in the woman I love. Because I swear to God Clint… If I find out you tried to kill her and ended up putting the man she loves in a hospital bed then there's going to be hell to pay. There's NO WAY I'm Letting You Walk on This One Clint.

Clint: You would really do that to me Bo? You would really sell me out for HER?

Bo: In a heartbeat. As a matter of fact, if I find out you're behind this then I will make sure you have a personal escort down to lockup… and then I'll let Nora finish you off. Don't you think she's going to want to know who tried to kill her? And you and I both know how Nora handles betrayal? If I were you I'd start preparing myself for a major showdown.

Clint: You wouldn't.

Bo: Wouldn't I? (Pause) I told you Clint. You're NOT my brother anymore. Anything we EVER had died the moment you stabbed me in the back. And if I find out you tried to kill my son's mother then its war. So what's it going to be Clint? Are you going to tell me the truth now or should I drag you down to lockup and have someone beat it out of you?

TBC

NEXT TIME

Nora and Natalie Face Off

Bo Tries To Get the Truth Out Of Clint

Nora Faces Her Fears


	29. A Safe Harbor Part 29

**A Safe Harbor- Part 29**

Nora turned to face Natalie, The tears falling from her face.

Nora: I _really_ can't deal with this right now. And if you came to see John then I would SERIOUSLY consider putting a lid on your attitude.

Natalie: Look, whatever it is you believe, I didn't come here to fight.

Nora: Good. Because the man you claim to care about is lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. And they don't know if he's even going to wake up. So you're going to have to have to forgive me if I'm not in the mood for one of your temper tantrums. I'm struggling to keep it together as it is.

She walked away from Natalie and stared out the window of the hospital. She could see the stars in the sky and it reminded her of their first date and how John told her she was his shining star. That was when she noticed that she was still wearing the necklace he gave her. She walked over to John and kissed him gently.

Nora: The stars are shining bright tonight sweetie. And I still have that star you gave me on the night we finally managed to get things right. You told me I was your shining star. (She took the necklace off her neck and placed it in the palm of his hand.) If that's really true then I hope the luck of this necklace will bring you back to me because you sure have been MY shining star for longer then I can remember. Please don't leave me John. Please don't give up on everything you have waiting for you. I love you.

When she walked away from him, she took Natalie by the arm and dragged her out of the room.

Natalie: What the hell are you doing?

Nora: I'm laying down the law in terms you'll understand. (Pause) I don't know where the hell you get off coming in there and making assumptions about my relationship with him but it STOPS here.

Natalie: What exactly are you getting at?

Nora: I want you to know that I'm NOT some pushover. You CAN'T come in here and expect me to roll over and play dead just because your having a bad day. You're NOT the woman in John's life anymore. And just because you can't deal with the fact that he's moved on doesn't mean you have the right to cheapen what we have.

Natalie: Are you actually going to stand there and tell me that this is more then just a "great ride" for you?

Nora: That's EXACTLY what I'm going to tell you. And you know what? I don't expect you to understand ANYTHING that John and I are to each other but it's more then just great sex if that's what you're getting at.

Natalie: So What IS it then?

Nora: it's none of your damn business WHAT we are. And I am NOT going to stand here and let you try to undermine what it is we DO have. All you need to know is that I love him. And lord knows, he loves me because he was going to propose to me tonight. Now I can't promise you that I would have said yes because I can't know what the future holds. But I do know that I am going to give this marriage thing some SERIOUS thought and if he still wants to marry me when he wakes up then that's something that's between me and John. If you have a problem with that then I suggest you take it up with_ him_ because I'm done letting you trash me when you don't have a clue what went on between me and your father. I know you love him Natalie but you don't know the FIRST thing about what kind of man he is.

Natalie: Then why don't you enlighten me.

Nora: Maybe I will. But not before warning you that if you even THINK about blabbing ANY of this to your father or his current wife then I will have you arrested for obstruction of justice. If you still want to know then I suggest you have a seat. This could take a while.

Natalie: Well In case you haven't figured it out, I've got the time.

Nora: Good. Because it's time you knew exactly why your father is nothing but a lying, manipulative SOB.

* * *

Bo turned to look at his brother, as he was desperately trying to avoid looking at him, and that was when he knew without having to say anything, what he was REALLY trying to avoid.

Bo: It was you wasn't it? YOU did this. YOU tried to kill her. YOU put John in a hospital bed.

Clint: That's ridiculous. Why would I try to kill the woman I love?

Bo: You call what you've done to her love? If you loved her so much then why the hell would you have an affair with her worst enemy in your bedroom no less? And why would you be careless enough to get your mistress pregnant? And lets not even get into all the times you have treated her like a damn possession you can cast aside whenever you feel like it. That's not love Clint. It's abuse.

Clint: And what about you? You haven't exactly been a saint when it comes to Nora Now have you?

Bo: Well at least I have the decency to admit that I was wrong. You just stand there acting like you're some wounded party. What the hell did you expect her to do Clint? Did you HONESTLY think you had an unlimited amount of second chances? Did you REALLY think she wouldn't catch on to you? That's it isn't it? You actually thought you could treat her like crap and then apologize and everything would be ok. And you thought you could keep doing that for the rest of your life. Well I guess you made the ONE mistake that cost you dearly… You under estimated what Nora's capable of forgiving. You should have known that even a woman like Nora will NEVER forgive being disrespected like that in her own home? She puts up with a lot but even SHE has her limits. Forgetting that has cost you everything hasn't it?

Clint: What's your point?

Bo: Well I don't know about you but when Nora FINALLY realized what you did and kicked you to the curb and THEN when she took your company and had you arrested… and you found out she was involved with John… well that's enough to drive any sane man crazy and you and I both know that you're not playing with a full deck these days.

Clint: So you think I tried to kill her because I was mad? That's a little drastic don't you think?

Bo: Well if we were talking about ANYONE other then you then I might actually believe that. But you and Lindsay weren't arrested for a traffic ticket were you? No, you were arrested for murder. And that was AFTER you used a father's love for his daughter to buy off a judge. Someone like that has NO scruples. Someone like that has no soul. And you and I both know that you can't stand the fact that Nora's not sitting around crying over you. It just drives you crazy knowing that it was so _easy_ for her to forget about you doesn't it?

Clint: You don't know what you're talking about.

Bo: What's the matter Clint? Can't handle the truth? Well I suggest you think about what's at stake on the way to the police station.

Clint: You're actually going to have me arrested? You can't prove anything Bo.

Bo: I don't _need _to prove anything. I KNOW you're the one who did this. And I'm going to take you down to lockup until you break. Then I'll let Nora deal with you. How does it feel to know that you're entire life lies in the hands of the woman you betrayed? You think she'll go easy on you NOW? (Slapping handcuffs on him) You should have thought about how you were treating her Clint. Now she can either send you up the river or ask for leniency and I got to tell you … chances are looking _really_ good that you may never see the light of day again. I guess now you may FINALLY know what you put her through.

Clint: You're really going to side with HER over your own family?

Bo: I'm siding with the truth. And you know what? If I have to choose between you and the woman I love then I'll choose HER every time. You're as good as dead to me. Now let's go.

After Bo read him his rights, he dragged him away in handcuffs. He thought about calling Nora but decided to give her a little more time with John before he told her he found the man who shot him.

TBC

**NEXT TIME**

Nora Tells Natalie Exactly What Her Father Has Become

Bo Tells Nora Who Shot John

Nora Decides To Give Clint A Taste Of His Own Medicine


	30. A Safe Harbor Part 30

**A Safe Harbor- Part 30**

Natalie: Look, whatever it is you have to say, why don't you just say it?

Nora: First, I want to know something. (Pause) Why is it that you ALWAYS assume that I'M the one who messed things up?

Natalie: Nora, I…

Nora: What? Are you honestly going to stand there and tell me that you DON'T think I'M The One Who broke things off?

Natalie: Aren't you?

Nora: Only because he gave me no choice. And see, that's what you don't seem to get. Believe it or not, I DON'T like fighting with you. And I really don't hold any ill will against you Natalie. The only thing I have issues with is how you seem to put your father up on some little pedestal where you think he's some damn saint. Did it EVER occur to you that Maybe _I_ Was the One Who Got Hurt? Did It EVER Cross Your Mind That Maybe Your Father Isn't the Man You Think He is? Would It Kill You to think that maybe I'M not some heartless bitch who stole the man you love? (Natalie just looks at her) What? You think I don't know how you feel about him? I can see it in your eyes Natalie? But the thing is that_ I_ didn't steal him. You could have had him any time you wanted except you CHOSE to get involved with Jared instead. Now that he's broke things off you want to pick up where you left off with John except now you realize that he's not just waiting in the wings for you. Now I'm sorry if that hurts you. And if John ever expressed any kind of desire to go back to you then I wouldn't stand in his way. So being mad at me is pointless. I'm not a threat Natalie. Can you at least admit why you're REALLY mad at me?

Natalie: Does It REALLY Matter?

Nora: It does to me. It matters because John cares about you. It matters because we need to find a way to at least co- exist. It would be a lot easier to do that if I knew the truth.

Natalie: I thought _you_ were going to give ME the truth. So far all you've done is beat around the bush.

Nora: It works both ways Natalie. And the fact that you won't admit anything to me gives me my answer so you know what? Forget it. I don't need to hear it. You, on the other hand, DO need to hear this. (Pause) I didn't leave your father because I didn't love him. I tried to love him in the best way I knew how and eventually it left me empty. Your father never loved ME Natalie. He was too busy with his affairs and his schemes.

Natalie: What the hell are you talking about?

Nora: Let me put this in REAL simple terms for you Natalie… He cheated on me. He was having what I found out was an ongoing affair with my mortal enemy… in _my_ house, in _our_ bedroom. And the kicker is that he actually managed to get her pregnant on the same night that _I_ was loosing our child.

Natalie: You were pregnant?

Nora: I came home to tell him when I found him in bed with her. I ran out of the house and started cramping. I drove myself to the hospital and was told that I no longer had a baby. I went to John's because I needed a friend. I _didn't_ go there because I wanted him to sleep with me. And even if I had, he wouldn't have done it because he's too noble. When we finally DID sleep together it was because we both wanted it. And it had NOTHING to do with your father. Later on I found out that your father was under suspicion for an attempt to blackmail a judge. And miraculously one of the witnesses wound up dead.

Natalie: Are you saying you think my father is behind that? Nora, you don't REALLY think that he's capable of something like that do you?

Nora: your damn right I do. He slept with Lindsay to cover his own tracks. He didn't give a damn about anyone but his own selfish needs. And you know what? Somewhere in that warped logic of his, he just WANTED to sleep with her.

Natalie: Nora…

Nora: No… No I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to waste another tear over a man who just isn't worth it. And I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure out why EVERY man I've EVER loved seems to get some sort of kick out of cheating on me… I mean am I really that unlovable? Why do they ALWAYS seem to find something in her that _I_ can't seem to give them?

Bo: Because they're damn fools… and yes that would include me as well.

Nora: Well as long as you KNOW that. (Pause) Did you find out who shot John?

Bo: Yes, and you're not going to like it.

Nora: Then stop trying to protect me and just tell me already. Believe it or not I'm not some damn china doll. I'm not going to break just because you tell me something I don't like. I'm stronger then that. I'm stronger because I've ALWAYS had to be.

Bo (Pausing): It Was Clint.

Nora: WHAT?

Natalie: Are you sure about this Uncle Bo?

Bo: I'm positive. I've known my brother a long time and I know when he's guilty.

Natalie: But why? Why would he try to kill Nora?

Bo: The short answer is that he hates to loose. The long one is that he may not be able to have her but he sure as hell doesn't want anyone else to have her either.

Natalie: isn't that kind of a drastic way of accomplishing that?

Bo (Pausing): Natalie, your father has changed. I know you don't want to believe it but he's not the man he once was. And now that he's married to Lindsay….

Natalie: WHAT? HE MARRIED HER?

Bo: It's the only way to prevent having to testify against each other… (Looking around)Where's Nora?

Natalie: She was just here a minute ago. Maybe she just…

Bo: Oh No.

Before she had a chance to say anything else, Bo took on his heel and took off. He knew _exactly_ where Nora went and it wasn't a good thing for ANYONE.

* * *

Nora managed to finagle her way into Clint's cell. The moment they opened the doors and the guards left, he knew he was in trouble. She was standing in front of him with a gun pointed square between his eyes.

Nora: If I were you, I would sit down and shut up.

Clint: Come on Nora. You're not really going to use that thing? You don't have the guts.

Nora: You REALLY want to gamble with your life?

TBC

**NEXT TIME**

Nora Shows Clint Exactly What She's Made Of

Bo Tries to Stop Nora from Making a Huge Mistake

Lindsay finally resurfaces… and Viki lets her have it with both barrels


	31. A Safe Harbor Part 31

A Safe Harbor- Part 31

Nora: Do you know what today is Clint? It's Independence Day… MY independence day. And do you know what that _actually_ means? It means that I can _finally _stand back, look myself in the face and _like _what I see. For so long, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror because I was ashamed of who I was… because I couldn't forgive myself for mistakes that I made that cost the people I love WAY too much pain. But you know what I FINALLY realized? This is MY life… and I'M the _only_ one who can set myself free. And that's exactly what I'm going to do. But the _only _way that's going to happen is if I _stop _being the woman everyone _always _expects to just turn the other cheek… forgive and forget… and just be so damn understanding. Well guess what _sweetheart_… I _don't _forgive and I sure as hell _don't _forget. And as far as _understanding _goes… I'm all out. I _understood _right up till the moment that my _understanding _put you in Lindsay's bed. Oh wait that would be MY bed wouldn't it?

Clint: How many times do I have to say I'm sorry for that?

Nora: Oh you're _sorry _now. Which part are you _sorry _for Clint? The fact that you decided to throw everything we had away by sleeping with my mortal enemy right under my nose… the fact that you were _stupid _enough to _allow _her to blackmail you into doing something _illegal _to cover up your own weakness… or was it simply the fact that you got caught with your pants down?

Clint: Come on Nora. That's not fair.

Nora: FAIR. YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT FAIR? Was It _Fair _that I was kept from my son for almost a year when I couldn't even walk or talk while the rest of the world believed that I was dead? Was it _fair _that by the time I finally _did _manage to find my way home I had no clue who my own son was because Lindsay had decided to play God with my life? Was it _fair _that Matthew spent _years _not knowing who his real father was because she decided that she had some God given right to decide who's good enough to BE his father? DON'T you DARE stand there and talk to me about FAIR. I could write the book on UNFAIR. But you know what? Sometimes life just happens. And right now there's only _one _thing I want to know? If I hadn't come home early that day… if I hadn't walked in on you in bed with her… would you have even _bothered_ to tell me the truth? Or would you _still_ be sleeping with her behind my back?

(She looks him dead in the eyes and sees the look he struggles to conceal.)

Nora: See _that's_ what I thought. You're not_ sorry_. You're just _sorry _you got caught. (Pause) What was the _point_ of that outrageous proposal Clint? Why did you even BOTHER to ask me to marry you when you had _no_ intention of EVER following through on your vows? I mean how COULD you when you were _already _being unfaithful? When you were _already _making a fool out of me? (Pause) Why don't you just admit it Clint? Why don't you just _pretend _to be a man and actually _admit _that this was all a game to you? Why don't you just admit that you _never _loved me in the first place? All You Wanted Was To Prove Something To Your Brother And I Was Just A Means To An End.

Clint: Is that what you _really _think? Nora, for Gods sake I made a mistake…

Nora:_ A mistake_? You call what you did to me a _mistake? _This wasn't some decision made without thinking things through Clint—it was deliberate-- A mistake can only_ be_ a mistake if you regret it. You—you would do _exactly _the same thing if you could do it all over again so you can't _exactly _call it a mistake can you? (Pause) Don't even _try _to come up with a rebuttal Clint—there _isn't _one. You can rationalize it all you want but the bottom line is still the same—you lied, you cheated and you committed numerous crimes—that all adds up to " get the hell out of my life? "

Clint: So you're going to do _what _exactly? Nora come on… you and I both know you're not going to use that gun.

Nora: Do we? And why do we _know _that Clint? Because I'm the "Good Girl" Who is just _always_ expected to do the right thing? Well what if I don't WANT to be that girl anymore? What If I'm TIRED of being screwed over? _How many times_ have the men in my life decided that I _wasn't _good enough to stick it out with? How many times did they throw me over for HER? I'm sick of it Clint. I am so damn sick of being the_ last_ person _anyone_ ever chooses. Why do I ALWAYS come second? Why can't anyone EVER put me first? Bo, Sam, Troy, Daniel… Now you. You've ALL had _someone else_ that was _more_ important then me. And you know what? When I finally DO manage to find someone who DOES put me first… who DOES stick it out with me… you decide to screw it all up. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth. I know that's a foreign concept to you but I need to know the truth. I need to hear you say that you tried to kill me. SAY IT!!!

Clint: Do you really want the truth? Or just you're version of it? You obviously have it all figured out so why do you need ANYTHING from me?

Nora: I don't. The ONLY thing I DO need is to tell you how much I HATE you right now. You just couldn't stand to see me happy could you? No, you just HAD to ruin everything because I _wasn't _sitting around crying over you. Well congratulations Clint. You ruined my life. You ruined my happiness. And you just might have killed the man that I love. Does that make you happy? Does that give you some sort of power? Does that make us even now?

Clint: What the hell are you talking about?

Nora: Oh come on Clint… you and I both know why you did this. You're stupid macho pride couldn't stand the fact that _I_ walked out on you. And you _certainly_ couldn't stand the fact that _I_ couldn't be more over you if I tried. So you just figured that if you couldn't have me then you would make sure that nobody else would. Well let me ask you something Clint? Would you have killed your own brother if I had decided to take him up on HIS offer? What would have happened if I had been standing next to Bo and not John? Would you have still fired that gun?

Clint: You're crazy you know that?

Nora: Oh yeah, I'm crazy. I spent _years_ of my life in a psych ward? Did you know that? Did you even CARE? I lost a child because my sister decided to play God with my life. And guess what? The whole thing started happening all over again the moment you decided to sleep with my worst enemy… The chain reaction that led me to loose another child… And now… now John's lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life and I couldn't be more lost. Did you know that I wake up screaming in the middle of the night and I can't figure out whether it's John's shooting or the one from the past? See I already lost one man to gunfire and I will NOT let you get away with trying to take another one from me. YOU Did This To Me Clint. YOU Made Me This Way.

Bo: Nora… Nora Don't Do this. Don't throw your life away on someone who's just not worth it.

Nora: Why shouldn't I? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't make this SOB pay for what he's done to my life? Why should he be ALLOWED to live when John's in the hospital fighting for his life? How is that Fair Bo? How is ANY of this fair?

Bo: It's Not Nora. None of this is fair. But you can't kill him in a jail cell where just about any one of these guards could be a witness. And you can't leave your remaining kids without a mother. They Need You Nora. _I_ Need You.

Nora: But what about what he's done? You and I both know he's going to find a way to wiggle out of this. And I'm sick and tired of the legal system failing me. For _once_ in my life, I want someone to PAY for the damage they have caused. Can you promise me that he will pay?

Bo: I can promise you that I Will Make sure that he NEVER hurts you again. Nora, I know what this is costing you. And I know that you need some sort of justice. Why don't you let me take care of that end? You just go take care of John? He's going to need you when he wakes up.

Nora: And what if he doesn't wake up? What if I loose him Bo? What if I loose him like I've lost every man I've ever loved?

Bo: You won't loose Him Nora. (He opens the prison doors and steps inside.) You won't loose him because he's too smart to give up on you. And he's too hard headed to die on you. (Pause) Come on Nora. Put the gun down. For once in your life, let someone help you. Please. Please Don't Do This Nora. I Don't Want To Loose You Too.

She looked between Bo and Clint, Trying to decide what to do as her pain began to take over. Finally she just put the Gun in Bo's hand and collapsed in tears.

Nora: I… I'm sorry. I have no idea what's happening to me. I… I need to get out of here. I need to be somewhere I can think.

Bo: Nora, Wait….

After Nora ran from the jail cell, Bo just looked at Clint.

Bo: Just so you know, I DIDN'T do this for you… I did it for Nora. She would never forgive herself if she killed you… and she'd ruin her life over someone who isn't worth the time of day. Her kids need her more then you deserve to be taken care of. So DON'T go thinking this is more then it is. You're alive today because I _love_ Nora more then I _hate _you.

And with that, he walked out of the jail cell and found Nora just about to get into her car.

Bo: Nora, please. You're in no condition to drive. Would you please just let me help you?

Nora (Tears in her eyes): I feel like I'm loosing my mind Bo. How do you help me with that? How can ANYONE help me with that?

Viki: you know John? I had my reservations when I first heard about you and Nora. She's just been through so much pain in such a short amount of time that I just didn't want to see her throw herself into another relationship and have to watch it crash and burn. But you… you went and proved me wrong. You became the person that she needed… the person that she could always count on… the person I ALWAYS knew you could be. And I really hope that you don't go and make a liar out of me John. You need to be the_ one_ person who doesn't quit on her. She's struggling to hold it together right now… and she really needs you to come back and help her. Come back to her John. She's worth it.

She smiled at him before she turned to leave.

Viki: I just want you to know that the only thing I care about is that Nora's happy and you seem to have done that for her. I haven't seen her smile like that in a long time so I just want to say thanks. Thanks for loving her John. Thanks for making her happy. She needed something to believe in and you gave it to her. And no matter what happens between you in the future I will never forget that you gave my best friend the power to believe in love again. You have no idea how much she needed that. You have no idea how much _I_ needed that.

She Walked out of the hospital room and had the misfortune of running right into Nora's worst nightmare—Lindsay.

Viki: Well what do we have here? Shouldn't you be halfway across the world by now?

When she tried to get past her, Viki just grabbed her.

Viki: What's the matter Lindsay? Don't you have time for a little chat?

Lindsay: I don't have anything to say to you.

Viki: well that's too bad because I have _plenty _to say to _you. _

She dragged her into the sunroom and closed the door. Lindsay just looked at her.

Viki: You might as well make yourself comfortable because you're not going anywhere.

Lindsay: That's where you're wrong. I have places to be.

Viki: Well too bad. You're not going to make ANY of them.

Lindsay: What the hell do you want Viki?

Viki: What makes you think I _want _something? I mean just because you have a knack foe destroying everything you touch… just because you have nearly cost my best friend her sanity…

Lindsay: Oh please… Nora is just as stable as she EVER was. Not that that _means_ anything.

Viki: See there you go making assumptions when you_ don't_ know the FIRST thing about ANY of it. Nora is about as close as I have EVER seen her to coming unraveled. And she _wouldn't _be that way if all the people in her life would just STOP trying to play God. So…

She walked right up to her, looked her dead in the eyes and slapped her across the face.

Lindsay: What the hell was THAT for?

Viki: THAT was for Nora. THAT was for _every_ ugly thing you _ever_ did to her. And THAT was for being _stupid _enough to think you could _still _get away with it. So tell me something Lindsay? How long did it take you to manipulate your way into Clint's bed? 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days… WHAT?

Lindsay: What makes you think I had to manipulate him into doing ANYTHING?

Viki: Oh gee I don't know. Maybe because it's what you _live _for. So what was it this time Lindsay? Did you tie him to the bed? Did you threaten his reputation? Or maybe you just drugged him? I mean that DOES seem to be your weapon of choice doesn't it? That IS what you did to Nora when she _wasn't _strong enough to fight back. Maybe it's the ONLY way you know how to get what you want. Lord knows it's the _only_ way you could EVER get a man to sleep with trash like you. If they knew who you REALLY were, they wouldn't want you at all would they?

Lindsay: What's your point?

Viki: _My point?_ My point is that you have managed to avoid the legal system like the plague for _too_ many years. I don't know what it is you're doing but it _stops _here. Right here, right now… you _are_ going to be held accountable for SOME of your despicable crimes. And I don't care _what_ I have to do but I am going to _make sure_ you SUFFER for what you did to her baby.

Lindsay: What the hell are you talking about? That wasn't my fault. I never even _knew_ she was pregnant.

Viki: Maybe not but you still seduced her fiancé right under her nose… in her house… in her bed… And what was the result of that Lindsay? She lost her baby. See the way I see it, that's called involuntary manslaughter. And you should have to PAY for that just as much as you should have to pay for EVERYTHING else you EVER did to her. And if the courts won't do it, well maybe _I_ will.

Lindsay: And what exactly do you plan on doing?

Viki: I don't know. But one thing I DO know is that I will NOT let you come within 5 feet of her again. You have hurt that woman for the last time and I might not be able to get her justice for when you paid off a crazy man to hold her hostage and make us all believe she was dead, or when you erased her memory, or when you switched Matthew's paternity results… I mean the list goes on and on Lindsay… But the bottom line is _still_ the same. You destroyed Nora's life on _more_ then one occasion. You destroyed her life for the sheer pleasure of giving her a bad day. Well I hope it was worth it Lindsay… I hope it was worth it because now _I'm_ going to destroy YOUR life.

Lindsay: You don't have the guts to do ANYTHING Viki. You never have.

Viki: Oh Really? And what makes you think that? Because I never fought you when you manipulated Clint into marrying you? Oh wait. You just did it again didn't you? The only difference is that Now, I couldn't care less. He doesn't deserve a woman like Nora and _I_ don't want him anymore then she does. (Pause) You know what Lindsay? I really don't know what it is you think you've got that men can't resist but whatever it is you can keep it. Any man that would willfully cheat on a woman like Nora for the likes are you isn't worth the commitment. I'm just glad she found out what kind of man he is before she married him. Now that's _your _problem. And you know what? I don't give a damn what you say or who turns on whom as long as you stay as _far away_ from Nora as possible. She FINALLY found a good man who adores her and you know what? I will NOT let ANYONE take that from her.

Lindsay: Kind of hard to do now that he's in a coma isn't it?

Viki: Well obviously you don't know John do you? See unlike most of the men Nora's been involved with, He actually _knows_ what she's worth so he's going to fight this. And WHEN he comes out of it, I would be VERY careful what you say because you just might end up with a very _long_ list of charges against you. (She notices the look on Lindsay's face) Oh what's the matter Lindsay? You didn't ACTUALLY think you could get away with it AGAIN did you? You shouldn't have come back _sweetheart…_now you're just going to have to answer for your crimes. And believe me; I will MAKE SURE that you do. NOBODY messes with Nora's life on MY watch… Not anymore.

When Lindsay tries to make a run for it, she runs right into Antonio and Talia.

Antonio: Going somewhere Lindsay?

Viki: Thanks for coming so fast. (To Lindsay) You should know better then to mess with one of Nora's friends.

Lindsay:_ You _did this to me?

Viki: No Lindsay… you did this to yourself. But why did you THINK I wanted to talk to you? It certainly wasn't for chit chat.

Lindsay: You bitch.

Viki: Oh no, Honey, that title has long been _your_ name. (Pause _Stay Away from Nora _or Things will get a lot worse for you. And you can tell your new husband that it goes double for him. You two make me sick.

And with that they dragged Lindsay away in Handcuffs and Viki breathed a sigh of relief.

Viki: Maybe we can all get some peace now.

TBC

**Next Time**

Bo realizes what his actions have cost Nora

Nora Struggles with her demons

Matthew and Cole Thank A Comatose John For Loving Nora


	32. A Safe Harbor Part 32

**A Safe Harbor- Part 32**

Nora's hands began to tremble as she attempted to find her keys by fumbling through her purse. She was obviously rattled and Bo didn't know if it was just because of John or if there was more to her sudden belief that she was loosing her mind. When he tried to help her, she practically jumped out of her skin and dropped the bag on the floor. The look in her eyes scared the hell out of him. And he didn't know whether it was because he was afraid that he had made her afraid of him or because he was afraid she was loosing her mind and he'd have to face the fact that he had pushed her there. Cursing under her breath, she went to pick up the contents of her belongings when she found Bo holding what she was looking for.

Bo: What are these Nora?

Nora (Grabbing the bottle out of his hands, she turned to look at him): These are the only reason I haven't been put in a straight jacket. I can't stand there and pretend that I'm ok anymore Bo.

Bo: You're the strongest person I know.

Nora: Yeah and I lost two kids… and two men that I've loved have been gunned down right in front of me. How much am I supposed to be able to take Bo? How many times am I supposed to just push my feelings in and be the one to make everything ok for everyone else? Well guess what Bo? I'm NOT ok. I miss my kids. And I'm scared to death that John is going to die and leave me alone.

Bo: So these pills are just what…

Nora: They're anti depressants. My doctor gave them to me after my baby died. I wasn't going to have them filled but after John was shot and I was forced to confront everything that happened in my past… My God Bo… I've had so much happen to me in the last few weeks… I can't take it anymore.

Bo: You're not crazy. You're not even close.

Nora: But I WAS. Don't you get how that makes me feel? I don't want to go back to that place… to that dark place where I can't tell what's real and what's not? And it's already happening to me. I have dreams… Horrible, awful dreams. And then I wake up and I don't know whether it really happened. And sometimes I can't even tell what year it is and who it is that got shot.

Bo: So your ex boyfriend was shot?

Nora: Do you REALLY think I'm going to trust you with something like that?

Bo: I'm sorry Nora. I'm sorry for everything.

Nora: I'm sorry can't change what you did. There was a REASON I was avoiding the subject. There was a REASON I didn't talk about my past. Those demons that I keep buried… Damn It Bo… It was the only way I knew how to survive. Making me face them… making me remember… you only made me open a wound that almost broke me once. I don't know what's worse… the fact that I'm loosing my mind again… or the fact that it's YOUR fault that I am. Think about that Bo. Think about everything you did to me and then ask me why I _should _trust you. Because right now I can't find a single reason why I SHOULD.

Bo: How about the fact that I understand… that I know you better then anyone.

Nora: I used to believe that. Then again, I used to believe that you would respect my wishes. (Pause) You can't just snap your fingers and make this go away Bo. You can't fix it and you can't rewind the clock.

Bo: That's not what I'm trying to do?

Nora: Then what ARE you trying to do? You can't make me ok again. You can't change anything that I did or didn't do. And you can't make John wake up and come back to me. I know you don't want to hear this but I need him. I need him to open his eyes and live. I can't take another death on my conscience.

Bo: What are you saying?

Nora: If anything happens to John, it's MY Fault. He was only shot because he loved me. He was shot because he risked his life to protect me. He was shot because he was standing too close to me. And that's exactly what Nick did for me. How am I ever supposed to live with that kind of guilt? It's suffocating me.

And without saying anything further, she got in her car and drove away. Bo worried that the woman he loved was slowly getting lost in her guilt. And he knew that if she didn't find a way to resolve this, she would never be able to live with herself…. Or with anyone else. He had to find a way to make it up to her. He just didn't know how.

* * *

Cole and Matthew walked into John's hospital room and sat with him. He looked so pale as he lay there unconscious. Cole was the first to speak.

Cole: you know John, I don't know if I thanked you properly but I think you probably already know. You didn't just save Nora's life at that party… you gave her something so much more then that… you gave her the chance to love again. I don't know if you know how happy you made her but you did. Her whole face would just light up when you walked in the room. Now I don't know whether you two are going to last because nobody ever does… But I do know that Nora wouldn't be the woman she is today if you hadn't saved her. You picked her up off the ground after her whole life was torn apart. You gave her love and you gave her acceptance. And that's something that I will never forget. Thank you for loving her John. Thank you for making her happy again.

He paused as Matthew walked over to the bed and joined him.

Matthew: I don't know what's so important that you can't just wake up and come back to mom. (Matthew and Cole laughed slightly as he took his hand). I've known you practically my whole life. You've always been there for my mom and dad and for me too. When I found out that you and my mom were together, it made me happy. It made me happy because for the first time in a long time I knew that she felt safe. She trusted you John. She never doubted you. And more then that, she was happy. I used to tease her every time she came home after a date with you because she was just glowing. I don't know what you did but you made my mom feel like the most important person in the world. Thank you for putting that light back in her eyes. Thank you for loving my mom.

Cole and Matthew both paused as they looked at each other.

Cole: I don't know if you can hear me John but if you can then you have to come back. I'm really worried about her.

Matthew: Please Uncle John. Mom needs you. She needs you to make her ok again. I don't know how to help her. None of us do.

* * *

Nora stood at the edge of the water as she watched the waves. Her mind was full of memories she wanted to stop. Her heart was aching from the pain she was in. Without saying anything further, she dove into the water and went under. Before long she was being pulled back.

Nora: What the hell is wrong with you? I was trying to…

Bo: Nora, for Gods sake this is the last place you should be right now and you know it?

Nora: Who died and made you president?

Bo: Look, I know you're angry but…

Nora: I wasn't trying to kill myself Bo. I just wanted something to feel good.

Bo: There are a lot of other ways to go about that. (He paused as he looked at her) Here… put this on.

He put his jacket around her shoulders and she began to relax a little.

Bo: You want to tell me why you haven't been sleeping? Or does that still fall under the category of not trusting me?

Nora: I am so tired right now that I'm not even going to fight it.

Bo: Fight what?

Nora: You wanted the truth? Well the truth is that Nick died because I loved him more then the guy I dumped him for. And John was shot because I loved him more then your brother.

Bo: And what about me Nora?

Nora: What about you?

Bo: Do you love John more then you love me?

TBC


	33. A Safe Harbor Part 33

A Safe Harbor- Part 33

Nora turned to look at Bo, the tears practically falling from her face before she could stop them. He allowed the silence to just be as he took his hand and wiped the tears away. Then she looked at him, not really sure what to say that hadn't already been said and done.

Nora: Do we _really_ have to get into this now Bo?

Bo (Pausing): How long are you going to keep deflecting? It's not that complicated Nora. If you don't love me then I need to hear you say it. Otherwise…

Nora: Otherwise What? It's not like it matters.

Bo: How can you say that? Of course it matters. It's the only thing we have left.

Nora: Bo…

Bo: Nora, I get it ok. You're with John now. You finally found a man who doesn't treat you like dirt and you deserve that. I don't want to interfere with your happiness because it's all I've ever wanted for you… but Nora I need to know if there's still any kind of hope left. If you don't love me then I'll walk away now and we'll both have a little dignity left. But if there's even the slightest chance that at some point in the future you could possibly love me back then I need you to tell me…

Nora: What do you want me to say? That I never really stopped loving you… that I think about you and all that we could have had… that I hate myself for throwing it all away… that I hate you for not fighting harder to keep it…. That right now I can't even look at you because I know that I would just get lost in your eyes and then it would all be over for me. It's all true Bo. I do love you. I love you so much that sometimes I really think I'm going to loose it because loving you and not being able to be with you makes me crazy. But you know what? Sometimes love and trust _don't_ go hand in hand and if I can't have a man I can depend on then I'd rather live without Him.

Bo: So you're not even going to give me a chance to show you how wrong you are?

Nora: _Why do you think I'm so wrong Bo?_ You dug into my past… you had me investigated… you didn't trust me enough to let me come to you when I was ready…. Every time I tried to get you to listen to me, you couldn't get away from me fast enough. And now because YOU want to talk to ME I'm supposed to what exactly? Just go flying into your arms like nothing ever happened. (Pause) Bo, I'm_ tired_ of being there just when_ you_ want me to be. How long are you going to want me this time? Are you going to wake up in the morning and decide that you changed your mind? Or worse then that… What if I give you everything and you leave me years down the road. I can't do it Bo. I WON'T let you hurt me that way again.

Bo: What makes you think that I will?

Nora: Because it's all you seem to know how to do lately. I loved you Bo. I still do. But I _don't _trust you. Not anymore. And I'm not going to risk my chance at happiness with a guy who actually treats me like a queen for a guy that has told me more times then I can count that He'll never forgive me. What do you expect me to do Bo? Live my life on pins and needles hoping that maybe _some day_ you'll be able to look at me with forgiveness in your eyes? _Forget it_. I am _so _sick of being never good enough. I'm _tired _of being treated like the town pariah for a mistake I made over ten years ago. I'm _not_ going to apologize anymore. I'm done. I'm done with it all.

Bo watched her walk away and he was scared to death of what it all meant. He didn't have a clue what he was going to do but he knew he had to do _something_ before he lost her for good. How in the world was he going to get her to trust him after everything he did? How could he ask her to forgive him when he couldn't even forgive himself?

TBC


	34. A Safe Harbor Part 34

A Safe Harbor- Part 34

Nora showed up at her sister's doorstep, the iciness between them clearly evident. She didn't wait to be invited in and Susannah knew that something must be wrong if she was coming to her this late at night after she had been crying.

Nora: I think there's some things I need to say to you.

Susannah: Ok?

Nora: I know that you think that you were protecting me when you sold my child to the highest bidder and then made me think she was dead. But what you don't get is that when they placed that dead baby in my arms… whoever she was… a part of me died with her. You don't understand what it is to love a child because you're not a mother. One day you will understand what it means to truly love someone because when your child hurts, you hurt… when they feel joy, you feel joy. And that's when you know that they're just as much a part of you as one of your arms or legs. I felt that with Rachel… I feel it with Matthew… and even though you don't want to hear this I felt it with my little girl. I was only 16 years old but I knew what love was. When they took her away, I felt like I was dying. I forgot how to breathe Suze. I mean sure, my heart was beating, I was still drawing breaths, but the physical act of breathing… that's what I didn't know how to do anymore. And then they put me in a straight jacket and I retreated to this dark place where I literally did not know what was real and what wasn't. I NEVER wanted to go back there.

Susannah: You won't.

Nora: You don't know that. And lately I've been afraid that that's_ exactly_ where I'm headed. I can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy and that's exactly what put me in a straight jacket before. I have dreams… horrible, awful dreams. And when I wake up, I am just drenched with sweat and I'm afraid to move… afraid to do anything. I have to take anti depressants to get me through the day. And I can't figure out who I want to be with anymore.

Susannah: Nora, what are you talking about? I thought you were happy with John?

Nora: I was. And then he got shot. And now I'm getting pulled back into a life that once made me happier then anything I've ever felt before… that also brought me more pain then just about anything. And suddenly I'm more confused then ever. On top of that, I just buried a child that I never even knew.

Susannah: Nobody is going to doubt that you've been through hell lately.

Nora: Lately? Susannah, I've been going through hell sine I was 16... Since before that really. I loved a boy that our parents hated. I loved him so much that I left home and moved into his door room. Daddy was so mad. I thought he was literally going to shoot up the place with a shotgun and DRAG me back kicking and screaming.

Susannah: Well he might have if I hadn't told him he'd be wasting his time.

Nora: You did that?

Susannah: Of course I did. You're my sister and despite our problems, I have always wanted what's best for you. You loved that boy. He was never right for you but you loved him anyways.

Nora: Like you're boyfriends we're so much better. You brought home that biker dude with tattoos and he passed out drunk on our couch.

Susannah: I'll never live that one down will I?

Nora: Not on your life. (Pause) Look the point is that I was wrong. As much as I loved him, he wouldn't have made me happy. Maybe that's why it was so easy to fall in love with someone who was the polar opposite of him. And then I ruined everything.

Susannah: What are you talking about? You can't seriously be blaming yourself can you?

Nora: How can I not? Look at my track record Suze. I always seem to be right smack dab in the middle of two men. And when I end up choosing, it ALWAYS causes some sort of turmoil. What if I don't want that anymore? What if I don't want to choose?

Susannah: I don't think you get that option.

Nora: Then I have to find another way. When I fell in love with Nick, I had just dumped Josh. And what happened? He lost it. Nick was killed because he loved me. And then John was shot for the same reason… because my crazy ex decided he didn't want anyone else to have me. What's going to happen if I decide to end things with John and go back to Bo? Is he going to be hurt too?

Susannah: You can't seriously think that John…

Nora: No. Because unlike most of the men I've been involved with, John's a decent guy. He and Bo are friends. My God how did this happen? Not only am I torn between two guys but they happen to be friends. Am I going to destroy that by…?

Susannah: I think you need to ask yourself a very important question?

Nora: What's that?

Susannah: Who do you want?

Nora: I… Honestly, Suze, I don't have a clue.

Susannah: Nora…

Nora: WHAT?

Susannah: Stop being so damn practical and ask yourself who it is you REALLY want? I know you love them both but you have to figure out what kind of life you want. Is it the safe and predictable security you feel when you're with John or do you still want that heart pounding, unpredictable spontaneity you've always had with Bo? Either way you have to ask yourself which man you can't live without and set the other one free because even though you might not WANT to choose, you and I both know that you have to.

Nora: What about John? How can I break his heart when he was planning on proposing to me when he was shot?

Susannah: Nora, for Gods sake this isn't about John… or Bo for that matter. It's about you. What the hell do you want?

Nora: I don't have a clue.

Susannah: I think you do. I think you and I both know there's never been a choice.

Nora: I'm not even sure we have a shot. I don't trust him.

Susannah: If you love him then you better figure out how you're going to get back there.

Nora: Why should I have to? _He's_ the one who checked out on _me_.

Susannah: So you're angry.

Nora: _You're damn right I'm angry. _I never should have had to grovel for him to even look at me again. And for what? He just went back to Lindsay anyways.

Susannah: Maybe you need to be discussing this with Bo.

Nora: _Oh believe me, Bo Knows how I feel._ I haven't exactly made it a secret.

Susannah: Then why don't you try again?

Nora: Because I'm done turning myself inside out for that man. If he wants me back then he's going to have to find a darn good reason for me to trust him because I'm not chasing him anymore. I'm not going to give him my heart only to have him stomp on it again. I can't take that a second time. It damn near killed me the last time.

She started to walk away when Susannah stopped her.

Susannah: Where exactly does this leave _us_?

Nora: Right now, in the same boat as Bo. I don't trust _you_ either. You sold me out. I'm not sure I'm _ever_ going to be able to trust a word out of your mouth. I don't even know why I came here. I love you but… But I don't believe in anything you say or do anymore. When I look at you all I see is what you cost me. And I hate you for that.

And with that she shut the door and Susannah went to the phone.

Susannah_: I don't know what the hell is taking you so long Bo. Figure out what Nora needs and give it to her. She's not getting better, she's getting worse._

Bo: What do you mean?

Susannah: I mean she's a basket case. If you don't figure out how to win back her trust soon then you just might loose her forever.

Bo: That's not an option.

Susannah: Then stop making stupid mistakes and go figure out how the hell you are going to get back in her good graces. You're running out of time here Bo.

Bo: Why? Do you know something I don't?

Susannah: John was going to propose to her before he was shot? What happens if he wakes up and still wants that? What are you going to do then?

Bo: Oh that's not good.

Susannah: So what are you still doing talking to me? Go figure out your woman before she becomes another man's wife.

After she hung up the phone, Bo sat in the car for a while. He had no clue what he could offer her that John couldn't but he had a pretty good place to start. Picking up the phone, he eyed the ad in the paper. Step one in his plan had now been put into motion.

TBC


	35. A Safe Harbor Part 35

A Safe Harbor- Part 35

Bo walked into the empty house and threw the keys on the floor. It had been ages since he had even seen the place and it needed a lot of work before he could even THINK of showing Nora but he was willing to give it a shot. If he was going to convince her that she could trust him, the first thing he needed to do was show her that he was thinking about their future. And what better way to do that then to fix up their old house that had miraculously been placed on the market again. Smiling, he went to work on the first room. He could still remember all those wonderful memories they had made here and he could only hope they would have a chance at making some new ones… that is, if he could find a way to break down those walls she had put around her heart.

* * *

Nora walked into the hospital a little while later and sat down next to John's bedside.

Nora: I'm sorry I haven't been here a lot lately. It's just… It's been so hard for me lately. I can't stop thinking about my past and my future and they always seem to collide. I think I might be loosing my mind John. And I don't know how to stop the demons. I'm so scared. I'm scared of everything right now. I wish you were here to tell me that everything was going to be ok because I could really use some reassurance from someone I trust.

She reached out and took his hand in hers.

Nora: I can't promise that I'll be around to love you when you wake up. But I can promise you this. I will always be grateful for what you did for me. You were there for me during one of the worst times in my life and you showed me that I shouldn't settle for anything less then what I deserve. I'm so confused John. I thought I could spend the rest of my life with you. You treated me like a queen… you gave me everything I thought I wanted and then… then I realized some cold hard truths about myself. I fell for you because you reminded me of Bo… the Bo that used to be everything to me… The Bo That I could trust. And now he's back in my life saying everything I've wanted to hear for years and I'm not sure that I can forgive him but… But I can't seem to figure out if I want to. There was a time when I would have given anything just to hear him say everything he's saying to me now and what I have to figure out is whether it's still something I want. I love you. I don't want you to doubt that. I will always want what's best for you and what will make you happy… I just don't think it's me. You're a good guy John McBain. And you deserve a woman who can give you her whole heart. I'm not sure that will _ever_ be me.

She stood up from the chair and started to walk away when she heard his faint voice trying to say something.

John: Don't… Don't go.

Nora: John? John, are you really awake?

John: You didn't think I would die and leave you all alone did you?

Nora (Tears in her eyes): I… Oh God John… so much has changed since you were shot. I'm so sorry.

John: Are you saying that you don't want to be with me anymore? (He saw the tears that fell from her face when she walked towards him).

Nora: I… I don't know how to say this John. You just woke up. I don't want to be responsible for…

John: Just say it Nora. If you're going to break my heart I'd rather you just do it now.

Nora: I love you. I don't want you to think I don't. I don't want you to think that I was leading you on because I wasn't. I honestly thought we could spend years together. You made me a better person. And you made me so happy.

John: But… But you're not in love with me are you?

Nora (Pausing): No. No I'm not. And I'm not sure I ever will be because my hearts not really mine to give away. Maybe it never really was… not since…

John: Not since Bo. You're still in love with him aren't you? Nora please… if you want to let us both walk away with any dignity at all please just be honest with me. Are you going back to Bo?

Nora walks back over to his bed and sits down.

Nora: The truth is that I don't know. There's a lot I don't trust. And I'm not sure I can ever forgive him.

John: But you want to try don't you?

Nora: I don't know _what_ I want. I'm going to leave town for a while. I need to get my bearings together. And I really need to deal with some things from my past or I'm going to end up in a straight jacket again. And I _refuse t_o go back there John. But I didn't think it was fair for me to let you think we have a future when…

John: when the man you _really_ want is your ex.

Nora (Tears in her eyes): I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't love you. Believe me I wish I did. It would be a hell of a lot easier. Loving Bo has cost me so much pain and misery over the years. And it's costing me just as much now.

John: Nora, stop beating yourself up. The heart wants what the heart wants. And if you want Bo then… then you have my blessing. You both do. All I've _ever_ wanted is for you to be happy. I _can't_ say it will be easy to see you together should you decide to go down that road because I love you and it will hurt to see you move on with someone else. I was going to ask you to marry me when I was shot. I _never_ counted on falling in love with you Nora… with anyone really… much less someone as _amazing_ as you are. You are so completely out of my league and the fact that you even gave me a second look is something I still can't figure out. You have given me more joy then I ever imagined and I will take that with me when you go. Thank you for showing me what it was like to love someone with everything you are because I don't think I've ever experienced that depth of emotion before. If you _ever_ need _anything _then you know where I am.

Nora: Does that mean we can still be friends?

John: Count on it. I love you… but because I love you I have to let you go. I care about Bo too so I can't even be mad because I know how much he loves you. That doesn't mean I won't be here if you ever need anything… if either of you need anything. I just want you to know that I will _always_ have your back… and I'll always want what makes you happy. I'm _not_ like the rest of the men who lost you. I'm not going to suddenly go psycho on you. I love you. I'm sorry that things had to turn out this way but I don't _ever_ want you to feel guilty for following your heart or for taking time for yourself. I don't regret you. I'm grateful for the time that we had. You made me a better man Nora Hanen and I will _always_ look back on these moments with nothing but good thoughts.

Nora (Tears in her eyes): Thank you for being so understanding. I will _never_ regret those moments we spent together because I think for one reason or another we needed each other. But I couldn't handle it if something happened to you because you're still one of the best friends I've ever had and it would kill me if I thought I messed that up. I still need you John. I still need you in my life.

John: Come here.

She leaned over his bed and he pulled her in his arms for a hug.

John: nothing in this world would _ever_ stop me from being your friend. And I will make sure that the people who hurt you never get away with it. You go be happy. That's the only thing I need you to promise me… you deserve only the best and I need to know that if I let you go that you'll go and do whatever it is that will bring you joy.

Nora: I'll do my best.

John: Good. Because I can't stand to see you cry.

She laughed slightly when she got up. He smiled at her.

John: that's what I like to see. Now, do you still want some friendly advice from your friend?

Nora: I would love some.

John: Give Bo a chance. I know how much he hurt you and that you don't trust him. But give him a chance to prove how much he loves you. Who knows? Maybe you'll both be surprised. If_ I_ can't be with the woman I love then I _really_ want to Bo to be. It just so happens that she's the same woman.

Nora (Smiling): Thank you for always knowing how to talk some sense in to me. Maybe I'll go talk to him now.

John: You do that. And do me a favor Nora…

Nora: What?

John: Tell Bo that if he _ever_ hurts you again I'll break every bone in his body.

Nora (Smiling): I think you should tell him yourself.

John: I think I will. Goodbye Nora. You really were the best. I hope Bo knows how lucky he is.

Nora: I hope so too. Goodbye John. Thank you for loving me.

John: That was the easy part. The hard part is figuring out how to stop.

Nora: You're going to find someone someday John… and when you do you are going to forget all about me. And don't think I won't kick her butt if she's not good enough. You're my friend and I want the best for you. It's just not me.

They said nothing more as she turned and walked out the door. John just wiped the tears from his face as she left. He wondered whether any man ever got over Nora. And if they did, he wondered how it was possible when she was everything that was good in his life and now she was gone. He only hoped it wouldn't hurt this much tomorrow.

* * *

Nora sat in her car for what seemed like an eternity before she finally knocked on the door of his loft. Surprisingly he was just coming around the corner himself.

Bo: Hey beautiful. What are you doing here?

Nora: I think maybe it's time we had a real honest to goodness chat.

Bo: Ok? About what?

Nora: About us… about our past and about why you keep hurting me. And most importantly, about why you think I should trust you. You keep telling me you love me but then you go out and do something stupid and I really need to know why you think I should give us a chance… because if you can't give me that then I am going to get on a plane and leave town for a while.

Bo: Are you serious? You're thinking of leaving town?

Nora: I have no choice Bo. I can't stay here if I can't figure out if I want to forgive you. If you can make that choice easier then I won't have to go. So are we going to have that chat or not?

Bo: after you…

He opened the door and she walked inside. After he closed the door, he looked at her with questions in his eyes.

Bo: Before I start this conversation, I _really_ need to know one thing from you.

Nora: Ok?

Bo: Do I stand a chance at winning you back at all? Do you still love me? Is there _anything_ left inside you that says that you could possibly forgive me for being such a damn idiot?

Nora: Do I love you? _Damn it Bo… how can you be so dense?_ I've loved you since I can't even remember when. All I've _ever_ wanted was for you to forgive me. The problem is that _every_ time I think you might be turning back into the man I once knew, you go and do something stupid. You almost destroyed my sanity Bo. So tell me right now why I should forgive you?

Bo: The most basic reason of all… because I'm sorry. Do you want me to get down on my hands and knees and beg for your forgiveness because I will? Nora I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a complete and total idiot. I'm sorry for letting you go… I'm sorry for hurting you… I'm sorry for basically choosing every other woman over you… but most of all I'm sorry that I didn't fight for you when I had the chance because the truth is that there has_ never_ been a day when I _haven't_ loved you. You are the best damn thing that has EVER happened to me and I swear to you Red… I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you if you let me. Just please… please don't walk out that door and close the book on us. I love you… I love you and I am so unbelievably sorry for being such a jack ass.

Nora: Ok you can get up now.

Bo: What are you saying Nora?

Nora: I'm saying that I love you but I _still_ don't trust you. I'm willing to give you a chance to prove it though.

Bo: How so?

Nora: Take me out on a date. And when I say _date _I mean a REAL date. You show up at my house and pick me up. You take me to some fancy place and you show me that you can be the man that I fell in love with all those years ago. And we DON'T sleep together on the first date either. I'm sorry but the _new_ Nora has some _serious _ground rules on that one. I need to know you will still be around for a while should I choose to allow you to.

Bo: Nora, you are worth waiting for. And you deserve the best. If it's a date you want then it's a date you'll get.

Nora: Good. Then pick me up tomorrow around 6. I'll be expecting something special Bo. After everything you've done, I think I deserve AT LEAST that much. And in case you haven't figured it out, the _new Nora_ doesn't settle for anything less then what she deserves. And I am _so_ done with men who are jack asses so you BETTER be on the up and up this time Bo. If you make ONE more mistake I am _done_. This is our _last_ chance. You either show me that you can stop hurting me or I walk away for good. I WON'T let you break my heart again? And I am _so_ sick of your stupid excuses. I don't care why you did it... I only know you did. You get _one_ more chance to prove yourself and that's it. You better make it good.

Bo: Fair enough. I just have one question?

Nora: What?

Bo: Would I be shooting myself in the foot if I asked you if I could kiss you right now?

She smiled when she walked towards him.

Nora: As long as you don't try any funny business then I think that would be just fine.

He laughed as he pulled her into his arms for a passionate kiss. She pulled away moments later and turned to leave.

Nora: You better hope that you know what you're doing or that's the last you'll ever get from me.

And with that she was out the door. Bo just watched her walk away and smiled. She was right. He better hope that he still knew how to woo her or he was going to be in deep trouble. This was his last chance to prove himself and he knew Nora well enough to know that _this_ time there was no room for screw ups. Nora had laid down the law and she_ wasn't_ going to back down. This was his _last_ shot at winning back the _one_ great love of his life. He needed more then luck this time… he needed a miracle.

TBC


	36. A Safe Harbor Part 36

A Safe Harbor- Part 36

Bo walked into John's hospital room without taking time to decipher what could go wrong—he knew that this was a bandage that was better ripped off. He sat down next to him and without saying anything further he approached the topic that they were both avoiding.

Bo: So how mad are you? And please don't coddle me John. I know you loved her too.

John: The only reason I'm not going to tear you limb from limb is because I know that you two have a history and because I know how much she loves you. But I'm telling you one thing right now Bo—you hurt her again—and I'm not just talking about the obvious ways—then I swear to God I'm going to break you.

Bo: Well that's blunt.

John: You're right Bo-- I love her-- But I'm also not stupid—I know that she loves _you_-- And I've known that from the start. That's why I'm not going to fight for her—because I know that I don't stand a snowball's chance in hell at keeping her. But I'm also going to remind you of something you _obviously_ forgot for over a decade—Nora's a hell of a woman—and that smile that you see on her face right now—you sure as hell better keep it there this time. Because if I find out that you've made her cry—whether it's intentional or not—I'm going to break every bone in your body—Got it?

Bo: Got it.

John: Good. Now that that's out of the way I'll just get to the question that I know you have for me. Are we still friends? As long as you treat Nora right then I have no problem with that. And the reason I don't have a problem with that is because I know that you love her. And I also know that you didn't mean to hurt me any more then she did.

Bo: So where do we go from here?

John: You go get ready for that date you have planned and make sure you don't screw it up. One of us should end up with her.

Bo: You're being a lot more understanding then I thought you would.

John: You're the ONLY person I would give her up to and honestly if I thought I stood a chance then I might not be so forgiving. But Bo-- Nora loves you-- she's always loved you—now I might be a little out of commission right now but I'm not blind. And it's pointless to try to hold on to a woman who was never really mine to begin with. I've got more self-respect then that.

Bo: I'm sorry John. Believe it or not, I really didn't want to hurt you. I just—I guess I just realized I never really stopped loving her. And as much as I tried to stay away from her, I couldn't turn off my heart.

John: You shouldn't have tried for so long. Maybe we all would have been in a lot less pain.

Bo: You're right. And for what it's worth—you don't have to worry about me hurting her again because if it's the last thing I do I'm going to make sure that Nora never sheds another tear because of me—at least not any then can be helped. Believe me I know what she's worth. I also know that I don't really deserve her… But for some odd reason she's willing to overlook that. And you have my word that I'm going to do everything in my power to make her as happy as she makes me.

John: You better. She sure as hell deserves better then you gave her lately.

Bo: You're right. She deserves the best.

He started to walk away when John stopped him.

John: You do have my blessing Bo. But I don't want to hear about this grand date of yours. It's too painful.

Bo: I understand. Believe me I know the pain of loosing Nora. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

John: Then make her happy this time. For Gods sakes Bo—STOP shooting yourself in the foot. You have the best woman we know—DON'T screw it up.

Bo: I don't plan on it.

John: Good. Then get out of here. The LAST thing you want to do is keep her waiting.

Bo: Don't I know it. (Pausing). I'm glad you're ok John. And I should thank you for saving her life. You have no idea how grateful I am that she had you.

John: I think I do. And you're welcome. I guess loving Nora is just one more thing we have in common

They shared one more look before he turned and walked away. John just stared at the door. It was amazing how much his life had changed recently. Though he didn't regret falling in love with her, he did wonder if the pain of loosing her would ever go away.

* * *

Nora was standing in front of the mirror. Her hands were sweaty and she could feel herself struggling for breath. She was so nervous. Matthew and Cole walked in and smiled. She turned around and went to the table.

Nora: I wanted to do this another time but I guess this is as good a time as any.

Cole: Sounds Ominous.

Nora: Just the opposite. (Handing him an envelope) I got the adoption papers today.

Cole (Reading them): So I'm officially your son now?

Nora: You're my son. Welcome to our family. Officially I mean.

Matthew: So I have a brother now?

Nora (Smiling): Officially you do. How does that make you feel?

Matthew: Wonderful. I think you did a really good thing mom. Cole should have a mom as cool as you.

Nora: Well thank you my little man.

Matthew: Mom.

Nora: _What?_ You will ALWAYS be my baby. And I don't care HOW old you are.

Matthew: So are you and dad getting back together?

Nora: That depends…

Matthew: On what?

Nora: On how well he knows how to grovel.

Cole: Oh boy—he's in trouble isn't he?

Matthew: I think my dad's been in the dog house for quite some time now.

Nora: Can you blame me for _putting _him there?

Matthew and Cole: Not at all.

Nora: Well at least I can still count on you guys.

They went in for a group hug when the doorbell rang. They just looked at her as she stood frozen with fear.

Matthew: Uh… I think its show time Mom.

Nora: Do I…

Matthew: You look amazing mom. If you can't knock dad's socks off then he's seriously blind.

Cole: And stupid.

Giving herself one more look, she turned to go.

Nora: Spoken like my biggest fans. Here goes nothing. Breathe Nora—Breathe.

Matthew: Have fun Mom. And don't stay out too late.

Cole: Yeah—Mom—don't do anything we wouldn't do.

They all noticed the meaning behind his words and she walked back and gave him a hug.

Nora: You just gave me the best present in the whole world. I love you-- Both of you. I'll be back when I'm ready and not a minute before.

She hugged Matthew and walked to the door. She found Bo waiting for her with a bouquet of flowers.

Bo: Oh Red—you look—you look like a—oh who am I kidding? Words don't do you justice.

Nora (Smiling): You clean up nice too Buchanan.

They kissed gently as Matthew and Cole watched. They both felt bad for John but it was also clear that Nora was happy and that was all they wanted. Bo was right. There were simply no words to describe how she looked. She could literally stop traffic. And they had a feeling that that was exactly the kind of look she was going for. If she wanted to make a man grovel—the best way to do it was to make him crazy.

Nora: I feel like a teenager on my first date. My heart is beating so fast it feels like it's going to pop out of my chest.

Bo: You think YOU'RE nervous? I'm terrified. And not just because I'm going out with the woman of my dreams but because I know it's entirely possible I could loose her all over again. And believe me Nora—that is a fate worse then death.

Nora: I never said I wouldn't _let_ you catch me Bo—but you're damn well going to have to do a lot of chasing. I hope you have on you're walking shoes. Now let's get out of here so you can start groveling. I'm famished.

TBC


End file.
